Cat

[Gusty Wind]

Bump bump bump all cat's lovers!

 

[big salami]

Hello all you cat lovers, if you're anything like me, you have trouble giving your cat a pill when you need to so, I thought the following might help!!



How to give a cat a pill

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and
thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.
As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.
Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.
Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away.
Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill.
Open another beer, place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Shoot pill down throat with rubber band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer.
Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab.
Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the f------ cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table,
find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.
Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room,
sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.
Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

How To Give A Dog A Pill ...

1) Wrap it in bacon.

Salami.









wing might help!! enjoy anyway!!

 

[Gusty Wind]

I mashed up the pill into powder form, add a little water and turn it into paste, and aply it on the cats paws, then the cat would just lick it off...

Wahhhh Lah! Simple!

 

[Gusty Wind]

For the dog, I just stick it into its month, then hold it closed for one minutes, and if is liquid, I used the injector without the needle. And injected into its throat.

Thanks BS!

 

[big salami]

I mashed up the pill into powder form, add a little water and turn it into paste, and aply it on the cats paws, then the cat would just lick it off...

Wahhhh Lah! Simple!

My cat would take 1 lick, taste the unpleasant medicine and go find a puddle or a muddy patch and get the damn stuff off!! The Vet can do it, it's worth the small amount of money it costs me!!

Dogs? Just open mouth, drop pill down and poke a little further with finger. Voila, job done!!

 

[Gusty Wind]

my cat will run away and hide under the bed!

And the dog will spit it out hours later ... Gees ..don't know hwere he hide it ...

 

[big salami]

my cat will run away and hide under the bed!

And the dog will spit it out hours later ... Gees ..don't know hwere he hide it ...

LOL, I'm with the cat on this one, I'd sure love to hide under YOUR bed!! lol

The dog? like I said, push it down his throat with your index finger, he won't fetch it back then! Chances are he holds it in the space between his/her cheek and teeth!

 

[Gusty Wind]

LOL, I'm with the cat on this one, I'd sure love to hide under YOUR bed!! lol

The dog? like I said, push it down his throat with your index finger, he won't fetch it back then! Chances are he holds it in the space between his/her cheek and teeth!

Yes, I did... then the dog will made itself 'Vomit'. So usually I just feed it with the liquid med.

 

[Crimsonblue]

morning

 

[mark197205]

I'm back everyone!

Welcome back Crimson, tis good to see you again

 

[Crimsonblue]

Welcome back Crimson, tis good to see you again

You are dancingly happy.

 

[mark197205]

You are dancingly happy.

Its always good to see those thought gone return.

 

[Gusty Wind]

Wow! Mark. your nana is happy. Hehee

 

[mark197205]

Wow! Mark. you pull out toyr nana. Hehee

It makes an appearance now and again

 

[Gusty Wind]

Always a good thing.

 

[mark197205]

Always a good thing.

That it is

 

[Gusty Wind]

I think so too.

 

[Crimsonblue]

Its always good to see those thought gone return.

glad to be back '

 

[Gusty Wind]

...........

 

[Guest]

This is so funny, almost as funny as the cat taking a pill!!!!!

We've all had trouble with our cats, but I don't think we can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then,

"C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.

No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent.

The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that"
paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter.... . and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about. Which it was.

"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue? If they only knew!!

 

[Crimsonblue]

gusty bump

 

[Gusty Wind]

Hey Crimson, this one would be good for your ava. Not as bloody...

 

[Gusty Wind]

Full size, do as you wish.

 

[Crimsonblue]

thanks sweet gusty, i may use it later, my current is the best ever.

 

[Gusty Wind]

.......