Hello Everyone
I have written a few small erotic pieces before but this is the first time I have ever asked anyone else to look at something I have written. I have ~2500 words of a short story written and the main theme of the story is female masturbation and phone sex, all done with what is hopefully a light dominant male style.
Obviously with this being a first submission, I am expecting there to be big problems although I have read it several times myself so with a bit of luck the *really* obvious errors are gone. I am looking for all feedback but have the following points:
* General mood, is it erotic? I have no idea if others will find anything in what I have written.
* Pacing, I am not sure if I may have paced it too slowly although I do want to emphasise the build up.
* Feedback on my writing style where dialogue is concerned, I am struggling with this a bit.
I am reluctant to post it in public, so at this stage I would prefer to do it in PM's or e-mail rather than just posting it out here on the forum. I have PM's turned on after reading some of the other threads here that seems like a common first problem!
If anyone would be good enough to give it a once over I would be very grateful!
Cheers
I have written a few small erotic pieces before but this is the first time I have ever asked anyone else to look at something I have written. I have ~2500 words of a short story written and the main theme of the story is female masturbation and phone sex, all done with what is hopefully a light dominant male style.
Obviously with this being a first submission, I am expecting there to be big problems although I have read it several times myself so with a bit of luck the *really* obvious errors are gone. I am looking for all feedback but have the following points:
* General mood, is it erotic? I have no idea if others will find anything in what I have written.
* Pacing, I am not sure if I may have paced it too slowly although I do want to emphasise the build up.
* Feedback on my writing style where dialogue is concerned, I am struggling with this a bit.
I am reluctant to post it in public, so at this stage I would prefer to do it in PM's or e-mail rather than just posting it out here on the forum. I have PM's turned on after reading some of the other threads here that seems like a common first problem!
If anyone would be good enough to give it a once over I would be very grateful!
Cheers
