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Can a cheater ever be trusted?

Nope can't be trusted.

I mean what do you have to lose if you spouse found out you're here? That you're emotionally invested? Camming? Sexting? Phone/Skype sex, would it be nothing? Divorced? Your kids? The respect of your family and friends? As long as you can live with the consequences what more is there to say?
 
Life is too short to try and reform the wayward. It’s a big world ... move on.
 
I don't think there's a one size fits all answer here. Chances are, if they cheat once, they are likely to cheat again. But... I think it does depend on why they cheated to begin with.

If they feel trapped (for whatever reason) in a loveless and/or sexless relationship and cheat because they are craving being close to another person, then they might not cheat again if the side thing works out. But... The side person will always be the "other" person. He or she will never leave their mate for that side person.

If a person is married or in an otherwise committed relationship and cheats with you being that side person and leaves their mate for you, they will likely cheat on you as well.

Trust has to be earned. I learned, never say never. And you'd be wise not to trust a person who says, "I would never..."

If a guy cheats on me, then confesses to me what he has done, he gets a lot of points in my book for honesty. I love honestly. Not that I want someone to cheat on me. But I'd rather he be up front about it.

I had a BF who confessed to me that he cheated. I pretty much already knew that I wasn't his only one. But I also didn't consider his other woman to be cheating because we had never discussed being in a committed relationship. What I didn't like though was that he asked me to choose for him. Her? Or me? I told him that wasn't my call. I just wanted him to be happy. He wound up dropping us both and taking up with someone else.

Then there was my ex husband. He actually had a woman in another country when he started dating me. He told me about her and said he was going to break up with her. Not sure if he actually did that or not because after our divorce, he took up with a woman from that same country!

But... He cheated on me continually throughout our marriage. I knew it. My family knew it. Too much evidence to think otherwise. I did confront him. Not so much for the cheating aspects but the money.

He was paying for hotel rooms, restaurant meals, lavish gifts and I don't know what all else for this other person or other people. Meanwhile, I was sitting home eating beans and rice and not getting any more gifts from him. I wanted out. He wouldn't let me out.

Worse still, he was gaslighting us all. Telling us that we were crazy when we mentioned the charges on the card. The odd jewelry I kept finding here and there. Like a lone earring that wasn't mine. The giant pair of purple panties that appeared in he basement. We (my family and I) had hard evidence and even then he denied it and passed it off as us being crazy.

And worse than that, he admitted to the cheating once we got divorced. Then laughed about it, calling me an idiot for not noticing. Ha! He told our daughter this. Disgusting. That was entirely uncalled for. By then even *she* knew he was cheating. Actually we both thought he was cheating with other men. He won't admit to that but we do have evidence of that as well.

Anyhoo... Good communication is key. Cheating doesn't have to end the relationship. It can. But if you two both want to stay together, you can work on making it better.
 
I think Cheaters fall into some different categories. Like others have said, one time might be understood if the circumstances are such. Abusive or neglectful relationships, marriages that are already over, etc.

I think serial cheaters do it for one or more of three reasons;

1. They get a thrill out of it. They don't do it so much for the sex or companionship as they do it for the lying and secrets. They're addicted to shadows games.

2. They do not love or want to be with their partner in any emotional or physical sense, but are unable or unwilling to give up the life they have built. House, car, kids, business, reputation etc.

3. They are addicted to that chemical high of falling in love and can't do without it. These people should really be Poly-amorous, but for whatever reason haven't come out as such.

Past experience has taught me that if you fall into one or more of the above categories, you WILL cheat again. And again. Until something changes.
 
NO. Cheaters can never be trusted. Ever. And the ones leveling the accusations w/out merit are the ones most suspect. Good luck.
 
UgliestSon said:
Fuck no dude.
Click to expand...

Ex hubs and I went to counseling when we both cheated. Mine was once, his was more.
We worked really hard, and got another GOOD 10 years out of it.
15 years later, we divorced for other reasons.
 
AlwaysFara said:
Ex hubs and I went to counseling when we both cheated. Mine was once, his was more.
We worked really hard, and got another GOOD 10 years out of it.
15 years later, we divorced for other reasons.
Click to expand...

Yeah well my wife hates me because I am an asshole.
 
I think this thread is hilarious on here, where 90% are probably married and given the chance are taking their pants off. :rolleyes:
 
PrettyLilPussy19 said:
My brief two cents - bc I don't really care to sum up or be summed up by one word - make sure if cheating is such a big deal to you that you're only talking to other single people. Hypoacrites are worse than cheaters, in my opinion.

Also, probably minding your own business is a great idea. Life is not one size fits all.

Happy Sunday! :cattail:
Click to expand...

DarkSimian approves of this post :D
 
Mei5ter said:
But you could still ask if they prefer vanilla, or a chocolate flake, or strawberry sauce...
Click to expand...

*grabs my microphone and notebook*

Excuse me, sir...I'm conducting this survery. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
 
While I'm willing to consider context of the situation, as a general rule, no, I'm not likely to ever trust someone with a history of unfaithfulness. And I'd sure as hell never trust someone who cheated on me.

As for beating, that's not something I really worry about, because I'm a dude. Which isn't to say a woman couldn't fuck me up if she had a mind to do so, but I'd be more worried about her lunging at my balls with a steak knife than punching me into a hospital bed.

Actually, I was involved with a girl who frequently punched me in the arm, shoulder, and chest. Mostly in play, but occasionally in genuine anger. But it was never more than one solid hit, then she'd stomp away and go be angry somewhere else. It never bothered me - I usually found it amusing, and my laughing at her should've earned me a second strike - probably because it was almost always my fault. You see, I like my women passionate, feisty, and a little wild, and I'm an habitual button-pusher. That's just the perfect recipe for getting hit. Fortunately, I also like them shorties, and a woman who's all of 5'2" isn't doing much damage to a guy my size using just her fists. As long as she doesn't headbutt my dick or something, we're cool.
 
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