Calling any straight people out there...

[southernsky]

I know y'all might be hard to find on the Lit boards, and I know everyone is bi to some degree, but I'm really struggling with my sexuality, and I'd like to know how you straight folks know that you're straight. I think that I've been told and shown that I'm supposed to date boys (in the most innocuous ways, none of my family are homophobic at all, but i just never see lesbian couples portrayed in the media, in books, around me, etc). I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm just enjoying being single, or I don't really have an attraction to boys. I'd like to hear from other people what exactly being straight feels like, if that's possible!

 

[southernsky]

and WHEN do i get to stop being a virgin on here?

 

[pupper]

Keep posting.I am straight,monogamous and kinky.When you meet the right person you will know it,it will just feel right and they will love you for who you are(not trying to change or control you)now if it's a guy or a girl I don't know only you will know.If you have any apprehension about your so follow your gut.IMHO

 

[oddity83]

I think its 30 posts to clear the virgin title. As for the meat of your post, look at it from an other angle, who do want to have sex with, what do you think of your past sexual acts, what kind of sex do you want to try. feel free to enjoy being single, gives you lots of time to think and enjoy life, hope this helps.

 

[Eilan]

and WHEN do i get to stop being a virgin on here?

Click me.

 

[mrmgp]

I know y'all might be hard to find on the Lit boards, and I know everyone is bi to some degree, but I'm really struggling with my sexuality, and I'd like to know how you straight folks know that you're straight. I think that I've been told and shown that I'm supposed to date boys (in the most innocuous ways, none of my family are homophobic at all, but i just never see lesbian couples portrayed in the media, in books, around me, etc). I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm just enjoying being single, or I don't really have an attraction to boys. I'd like to hear from other people what exactly being straight feels like, if that's possible!

I can't explain being straight. Couldn't even begin to describe it.

As for your feelings, it's possible that you are a lesbian. Or it could be that you just aren't attracted to the guys you've been encountering, but somewhere out there is the kind of guy you are wanting.

The simplest question to ask yourself is do you find yourself aroused more by the thought of being with a man or another woman? Or both?

 

[Private_Label]

I know y'all might be hard to find on the Lit boards, and I know everyone is bi to some degree, but I'm really struggling with my sexuality, and I'd like to know how you straight folks know that you're straight. I think that I've been told and shown that I'm supposed to date boys (in the most innocuous ways, none of my family are homophobic at all, but i just never see lesbian couples portrayed in the media, in books, around me, etc). I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm just enjoying being single, or I don't really have an attraction to boys. I'd like to hear from other people what exactly being straight feels like, if that's possible!

I'm straight, single, 40 yr old, never been married or in a committed long term relationship. I have a few submissive kinks but that is a separate issue.

I know I'm straight because... well... eh... hmm... gimme a minute...

Because I'd rather hook up romantically with men. There is nothing wrong in enjoying being single, just as there is nothing wrong (beyond what part of society you choose to listen too for opinions) with enjoying people of the same sex. There is also nothing wrong with appreciating the body of someone of the same sex without it being sexual. There is also nothing wrong in being curious as to what all your options are.

I find I am more romantically/sexually attracted to men rather than women. I have found myself thinking about men friends "You know, if he wasn't married/gay/in a relationship I'd like to date him." That's probably the biggest reason I know I am "straight." Maybe there is a woman out there who could change my mind, then again maybe not - but it isn't an experience I am seeking at this point in time.

I am also not promiscuous. I can't see myself in a sexual relationship without strong emotional connections to go along with it.

I'm single; I neither love it, nor do I hate it. My self worth is not based on having a partner to validate who I am. In High School and parts of college, I really didn't pay much attention to "the boys" at least not in a romantic "let's go date" kind of way.

What I'm saying in a long and windy manner, is, don't let others tell you what your sexuallity is. There are many reasons to not feel drawn to others sexually. Stress, moving, work, other family issues, sometimes medical issues.
Think about it, but don't over think it, or it can become something that causes stress. Don't be afraid to flirt with people and don't be afraid to tell them, "Hey, I'm not certain, I just want to flirt a bit, is that OK with you?"

If the person doesn't value your honesty, then you are better off not not getting to know them better.

OK that's the nickle opinion of the old spinster aunt.

Virgin refers to the number of posts, the more you have the different the lable gets... (somewhere is a post talking about the different levels...) anyway, at 100 messages, you can add an avatar, at 1000+ or so you can put your own label on.

NEXT!

 

[MsCreamy]

I know y'all might be hard to find on the Lit boards, and I know everyone is bi to some degree, but I'm really struggling with my sexuality, and I'd like to know how you straight folks know that you're straight. I think that I've been told and shown that I'm supposed to date boys (in the most innocuous ways, none of my family are homophobic at all, but i just never see lesbian couples portrayed in the media, in books, around me, etc). I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm just enjoying being single, or I don't really have an attraction to boys. I'd like to hear from other people what exactly being straight feels like, if that's possible!

Old addage that I found to be true: try and see if you like it.....
I've never been attracted to other women. I did try sex with a woman however. i discovered very quickly that it was not for me. Many things I enjoy about a man that I simply can't get from a woman. That's how I know th I'm straight.

 

[pupper]

Amen Private Label,you hit the nail on the head,be secure in yourself and all will fall into place

 

[Cathleen]

I agree, Private Label said it all for me. I'm straight and while I can appreciate the beauty of women I have no sexual attraction to other women.

I've never been one to really give much consideration to others sexuality - it is a part of who they are but only a part (unless they make it a bigger issue vis a vie who they are). I think Ms.Creamy is right, try it and see if you like it... and trying can be as simple as thinking about it or maybe you want to try it in a more substantial way.

I have some friends that are homosexual and what strikes me most is how difficult being homosexual can be in this society. A cousin of mine was gay, (he died at 37 of AIDS), I saw some of the crap they had to put up with just because of their sexuality - it was scary and sickening too. I don't know if it's a choice or a natural preference - I just know for me I'm straight... I don't think I actively chose that per say, it is is.

Give yourself some exposure to different things (no matter what you're trying to determine), finding out, learning is a way to find yourself and your preferences.

 

[Ravin the Poet]

I'm straight because I like girls and find men unattractive in every way...



Need I say more?



Ravin

 

[hydrex]

I know y'all might be hard to find on the Lit boards, and I know everyone is bi to some degree, but I'm really struggling with my sexuality, and I'd like to know how you straight folks know that you're straight. I think that I've been told and shown that I'm supposed to date boys (in the most innocuous ways, none of my family are homophobic at all, but i just never see lesbian couples portrayed in the media, in books, around me, etc). I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm just enjoying being single, or I don't really have an attraction to boys. I'd like to hear from other people what exactly being straight feels like, if that's possible!

For me I can tell I'm straight because the thought of even kissing *Yuck* a guy *yuck* makes me *yuck* sick.

Guys do nothing for me emotional or any other ly.

 

[SweetErika]

I know y'all might be hard to find on the Lit boards, and I know everyone is bi to some degree, but I'm really struggling with my sexuality, and I'd like to know how you straight folks know that you're straight. I think that I've been told and shown that I'm supposed to date boys (in the most innocuous ways, none of my family are homophobic at all, but i just never see lesbian couples portrayed in the media, in books, around me, etc). I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm just enjoying being single, or I don't really have an attraction to boys. I'd like to hear from other people what exactly being straight feels like, if that's possible!

I'm not straight, but I may have something to add...

I knew I wasn't a lesbian because I was attracted to and had the desire to date/be involved romantically with men. Because of that, I just automatically assumed I was straight.

I looked at and "admired" women, but figured that could be a natural part of being straight too. Even after enjoying kissing a woman and fantasizing about them, I thought I was straight.

Having sex with a woman left no doubt in my mind though. Even though I was married to and completely in love with a man at the time, I wanted to do it again and again, so it was clear I was bi.

Everyone has their own path to discovering their sexuality. Do what feels right to you, experiment if you want to, and don't think about or listen to what you "should" be. Any way you cut it, it's an incredible journey, so enjoy!

 

[SummerMorning]

For me I can tell I'm straight because the thought of even kissing *Yuck* a guy *yuck* makes me *yuck* sick.

Guys do nothing for me emotional or any other ly.

This *could* just be a defense mechanism, you know. Strong emotions like that, you could be repressing a part of your sexuality that you feel is wrong.



I think you know you're straight when people of the same sex don't do anything for you. There's neither yuck nor fuck - it's just pretty much level. It's not that you don't want to fuck men (if you're a guy), it's just that you're utterly not interested in fucking them.

 

[Ibsen]

I know y'all might be hard to find on the Lit boards, and I know everyone is bi to some degree, but I'm really struggling with my sexuality, and I'd like to know how you straight folks know that you're straight. I think that I've been told and shown that I'm supposed to date boys (in the most innocuous ways, none of my family are homophobic at all, but i just never see lesbian couples portrayed in the media, in books, around me, etc). I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm just enjoying being single, or I don't really have an attraction to boys. I'd like to hear from other people what exactly being straight feels like, if that's possible!

You are straight when you want to fuck persons of the opposit gender.

Questions?

 

[wicked woman]

I'm not straight, but I may have something to add...

I knew I wasn't a lesbian because I was attracted to and had the desire to date/be involved romantically with men. Because of that, I just automatically assumed I was straight.

I looked at and "admired" women, but figured that could be a natural part of being straight too. Even after enjoying kissing a woman and fantasizing about them, I thought I was straight.

Having sex with a woman left no doubt in my mind though. Even though I was married to and completely in love with a man at the time, I wanted to do it again and again, so it was clear I was bi.

Everyone has their own path to discovering their sexuality. Do what feels right to you, experiment if you want to, and don't think about or listen to what you "should" be. Any way you cut it, it's an incredible journey, so enjoy!

Reminds me that you may 'be' straight until you find the right person of the same sex that 'proves' you wrong...that you're bi. Just as a woman we aren't attracted to all men, we aren't attracted to all women. Since society says it''s OK for a woman to appreciate another woman physically...you may think that's all it is...so you're straight (I'm assuming there is an attraction to men). Until you meet a woman where there is more...a physical attraction...that you want to have sex/make love with her...if you're able to experience that and enjoy...then your sexual orientation just went from heterosexual to bisexual. So keep yourself open to the possibilities. They're wonderful.

If you're not currently attracted to a man...may just not be the right one around. Keep your options open. When the right person (male or female) arrives...you'll know you're physically attracted to them.

 

[southernsky]

*sigh* I'm attracted to women, as in, the thought of really having sexual relations with another woman, not just messing around with a friend, really really turns me on. But, I've got this notion in my head that there are aspects of a relationship with a guy that you just can't have with a woman, which I know is true, but doesn't help any. I want both men and women, just not either with any conviction, if that makes any sense. I don't know if it's something up with me, that I just don't feel emotionally passionate towards other people right now, or that I'm attracted to women, haven't really acted on that, don't know what I'm missing, and therefore aren't really attracted to the guys I run into for that reason. I feel like I'm rambling, and I hope to God that I make sense to someone, because it's all muddled up in my head. And on top of that, I can't even imagine myself making a move on a woman, and they're not exactly lining up to date me so I can see if that's what I want. Am I confused or what?

 

[SweetErika]

*sigh* I'm attracted to women, as in, the thought of really having sexual relations with another woman, not just messing around with a friend, really really turns me on. But, I've got this notion in my head that there are aspects of a relationship with a guy that you just can't have with a woman, which I know is true, but doesn't help any. I want both men and women, just not either with any conviction, if that makes any sense. I don't know if it's something up with me, that I just don't feel emotionally passionate towards other people right now, or that I'm attracted to women, haven't really acted on that, don't know what I'm missing, and therefore aren't really attracted to the guys I run into for that reason. I feel like I'm rambling, and I hope to God that I make sense to someone, because it's all muddled up in my head. And on top of that, I can't even imagine myself making a move on a woman, and they're not exactly lining up to date me so I can see if that's what I want. Am I confused or what?

Well, nobody said you can't have both if that's what you want. Maybe take it one step at a time...talking to other bi women online and eventually meeting some for real life friendship was really helpful for me. Time to think and figure out where I was and wanted to go helped immensely as well. When you meet the right people at the right time, everything flows naturally, and you're going to be surprised at how clear it all becomes.

 

[Exciteher]

In general, feeling straight feels like you are only attracted to the opposite sex, that you turn-on sexually only to the opposite sex. But for most the people I know, it is not quite that simple...lol! Sooner or later, one may hit the curve in the road that buts a bit of bend in the "straight." Or not!

First of all, what is important about knowing all of this for sure right now... what has come up for you?

*sigh* I'm attracted to women, as in, the thought of really having sexual relations with another woman, not just messing around with a friend, really really turns me on.

Here, it's clear that your thoughts about having sex with other women makes you feel turned on..

But, I've got this notion in my head that there are aspects of a relationship with a guy that you just can't have with a woman, which I know is true, but doesn't help any.

Here I think you are saying even though you know that sex with men will have its own unique aspects, knowing that does not make you feel any more turned on toward men, or less turned on toward women.

I want both men and women, just not either with any conviction, if that makes any sense.

Actually it does. How is your sex drive in general right now? Have there been times that you wanted both men and women.. or either alone.. passonately, or is this lack of passion in general... and your facination with women... a new thing for you?

I don't know if it's something up with me, that I just don't feel emotionally passionate towards other people right now,....

Yes this is a possability... compare your feelings now to how you have felt I the past. Hey, forget about sex and figuring out your sexual identity for a moment, how are you doing?

...or that I'm attracted to women, haven't really acted on that, don't know what I'm missing, and therefore aren't really attracted to the guys I run into for that reason.

Well this could happen I suppose! What does your past experience tell you about the answer to this question? If you had to guess, what do you think the answer is here?

Is this current confusion you are feeling a new thing? Have you ever felt "really really" turned on at the thought.. or act.. of having sex with a guy? How have you felt with the guys you have been with in the past?

... And on top of that, I can't even imagine myself making a move on a woman,...

What do you feel when you imagine that? Also, what do you feel when you imagine yourself making a move on a guy?

Forget about the labels.. what do your feelings tell you?

 

[hydrex]

This *could* just be a defense mechanism, you know. Strong emotions like that, you could be repressing a part of your sexuality that you feel is wrong.



I think you know you're straight when people of the same sex don't do anything for you. There's neither yuck nor fuck - it's just pretty much level. It's not that you don't want to fuck men (if you're a guy), it's just that you're utterly not interested in fucking them.

Ummmmm yes I think it's wrong, and NO I am not repressing anything. Guys do nothing for me and you said almost the same thing I did.

 

[SummerMorning]

Ummmmm yes I think it's wrong, and NO I am not repressing anything. Guys do nothing for me and you said almost the same thing I did.

You're the only one who knows your own repressions! Or rather, you're the only one that could, should you want to.

A freudian psychoanalyst would tell you, of course, that it's because of trouble resolving your Oedipus complex. LOL.

 

[M's girl]

It's hard to add more 'wisdom' to what has been said here already. But since hearing explanations in different manners works well for me when I'm looking for answers I will put my 2 cents in as well.

I'm straight. How do I know this? First of all I'm 42 and I've never been married but had a view long-term relationships, all with men. Why with men? Because I fell in love with them and was attracted to them. But I'm fairly open minded so if I would fall in love with a woman I would get into a relationship with her without thinking further. Maybe it's somewhat easier overhere. I live in The Netherlands and get the feeling that people in general are more open minded towards gay/lesbian relationships.

When I was very young (don't remember exactly what age I was, maybe between 10 and 15 or so) I had two girlfriends who I experimented some light sexual acts with. Haha, almost no one knows about this. We were obviously exploring our sexual feelings. We were not very 'straight to the point' about it but played games where we ended up laying on top of each other, kissing each other and also licking each other. I had orgasms. After a while, when we realized what we were doing I guess, it stopped.

What I'm trying to say is that I do know, in a modest way, what it's like to be with a girl. It felt good at the time. I can still see how I could have sex with a woman but I never felt the urge once I was more mature.

Sex and being in a relationship (the intimate connection) are very much unseperatable to me. I can't have one without the other. So I could never have sex with anyone I do not at least intend to have a relationship with. And for some reason I can't explain, I feel more comfortable being in a relationship with a man. Maybe it has something to do with me feeling more feminin? I don't know. I do know it has nothing to do with social acceptance as far as I'm concerned.

I have a friend in the US who is gay. I get the feeling he does not experience too many difficulties with the social acceptance part (his family and friends are very supporting and that's how it should be!). I have gay and lesbian friends here. They are all lovely people who are fun to be around. And that is what's most important. I am in a relationship at this moment so I'm not looking for anyone; male or female. But if my current relationship would end one day and I would come across a woman I would fall in love with? I would not hesitate is my guess...

 

[The_Teche]

In todays society I wouldn't think that it would be necessary to choose.
Do 'em all, eventually you will know which one you like better.

 

[phoenix1224]

<snip> ...I know everyone is bi to some degree... <snip>

Um... That's not true.

I'm as straight as straight can be.

How do I know?

Simple.

Firstly, I love EVERYTHING about women - Their shape. Their smell. Their taste. Even the way that they confuse and frustrate me on occasion... Etc., etc., etc.

Secondly, even the THOUGHT of another guy's hairy ass is enough to put my penis into hibernation mode for days...

 

[Ravin the Poet]

This could just keep going in a circle. Saying "straight" people are just blocking a fantasy and so on. I assure you, I don't have any male fantasy's. I haven't even had any female partners, so I will work on that first .


Ravin