Calling All Lit Subs!

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Have you ever been "wronged" by a Dominant - and then held your silence afterward? Then some time after, you hear about another sub He did the same thing to? I think all of the Lit sister-subs should get together and form a club. We could all share info on different Doms, if they did you wrong. That way, they couldn't do to others what they did to a few. They would be known about and disarmed.

None of these Doms will be mentioned by name, unless you don't leave all of the club members alone.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Are you serious?

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Are you serious?

Yes, very much so.

 

[rozezwild]

Hello sweetie and how are you?

Nice thread

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Hello sweetie and how are you?

Nice thread

Thank you dear. I'm good, and recovering slowly. I don't know whether to be relieved or dripping in choler.

 

[Sprinkles22]

Nice thread Victoria .... even though I'm not formally recognized by most here as a submissive, in truth, I am And I have a Litster whom I will "beware" all others.

He is a lurker, who claims to be quite the Dom. His plan ... to lure you in with sweet words and promises that all your fantasies can come true. Then he disappears .... never to be heard from again. By YOU, that is. Next thing you know, he's wooing another sub, then another, then another.

He's bad news ....

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Nice thread Victoria .... even though I'm not formally recognized by most here as a submissive, in truth, I am And I have a Litster whom I will "beware" all others.

He is a lurker, who claims to be quite the Dom. His plan ... to lure you in with sweet words and promises that all your fantasies can come true. Then he disappears .... never to be heard from again. By YOU, that is. Next thing you know, he's wooing another sub, then another, then another.

He's bad news ....

Thank you Sister Sprinkles. I am glad you stopped by and shared. Then if he is indeed a *lurker* then perhaps he will see this and know his "game" is had. He must truly be a 'user' or think that He is above reproach.

*Tsk Tsk*

 

[jadefirefly]

Hmmm... if only I can remember the name of the guy who pulled that routine on me...

Luckily I got bored with the idea before I bothered to continue looking... C is much more interesting than some unknown online persona.

 

[Missingmeds]

Very nice thread Victoria.

There are lots of these type of people and they don't necessarily have to be into bdsm to be a player or to do what Sprinkles described. They don't even have to be on the net to do this to others.

 

[catalina_francisco]

It is not always the problem or fault of the Dom...and it comes to mind as a sub you too have responsibility to choose wisely, and if you find you haven't, learn from it and move on..Would you feel quite so comfortable if the Doms in question started a similar thread for warning about subs in a similar manner and as they see fit?. Interesting to see newer faces though...welcome to the forum. Perhaps you will all find something you can relate to (or not perhaps) here.

Catalina

 

[shy slave]

I am with ADR on the 'are you serious' question.

This is not a D/s thing, its a life thing.
Also agree with catalinas post on this subject.
There are at least two sides to every story.
Its up to the individual to keep their brains in their heads not their panties.

A long time ago when I was upset with a r/l Dom AA was scathing about how I had acted, ie not in a safe manner, or with my own sanity in mind.

It happens in the vanilla world too, some people take advantage because you have the mind set to let them.

 

[WriterDom]

A friend of mine who is submissive, but isn't a fan of the forums here told me there were a lot of subs who are typing with their butts in the air waiting to get spanked. And I can see her point. There are a lot of unattached newbie subs on lit. Almost every day another gets off the cyber train. There is a "submissive hunger" that can lead to trouble. I've seen it in experienced subs as well. Ones that have years of experience and end a relationship and a week later are with a new Dom.

I don't see any benefits to outing anyone. Not is this world of anonymity. Not when a minute later the guy can create another screen name and have enough posts on the silly threads to have an av by the end of the day.

Caveat Emptor.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Have you ever been "wronged" by a Dominant - and then held your silence afterward? Then some time after, you hear about another sub He did the same thing to? I think all of the Lit sister-subs should get together and form a club. We could all share info on different Doms, if they did you wrong. That way, they couldn't do to others what they did to a few. They would be known about and disarmed.

None of these Doms will be mentioned by name, unless you don't leave all of the club members alone.

This is a great idea.

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Hmmm... if only I can remember the name of the guy who pulled that routine on me...

Luckily I got bored with the idea before I bothered to continue looking... C is much more interesting than some unknown online persona.

Thank you for your comments jff. You and your comments are always welcome - and if you remember the name, fine; and even if you don't, that's all right too.

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Very nice thread Victoria.

There are lots of these type of people and they don't necessarily have to be into bdsm to be a player or to do what Sprinkles described. They don't even have to be on the net to do this to others.

Thank you meds. It was 'suggested' to me by a friend who has been in the lifestyle for a long while. I had minor trepidations about how it would be received - and I am pleasantly both pleased and surprised by its reception.

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

It is not always the problem or fault of the Dom...and it comes to mind as a sub you too have responsibility to choose wisely, and if you find you haven't, learn from it and move on..Would you feel quite so comfortable if the Doms in question started a similar thread for warning about subs in a similar manner and as they see fit?. Interesting to see newer faces though...welcome to the forum. Perhaps you will all find something you can relate to (or not perhaps) here.

Catalina

This forum was not born of a need, or a wish, to "slam" or "out" those on both sides of the coin who have acted in a respectful and/or righteous manner - but more of a place to let any feelings of having been wronged, or feeling as if you have - whether the experience be in the off-thread day to day of the lifestyle - or something that has happened/occured with an online Dom.

It is my own feeling (and mine alone), that a Dom should know, or have in mind, specific attributes that he wishes his submissive to have, BEFORE He goes full tilt into looking for one. or saying words to the effect of, "We'll try online first and see how it progresses from there," and then, again because He doesn't know what He's either looking for or wants - He gives the submissive the lame excuse of, "Oh it's me, not you" and steps back.

Thank you for your comments Ma'am. I do appreciate them, and you, for voicing them.

 

[alice_underneath]

Thank you for your comments Sir. I do appreciate them, and you, for voicing them.

Catalina is female.

I highly recommend the thread to which she provided a link. It's quite amusing, but thought-provoking at the same time. There are a few serious gems hidden in its pages as well. For example:

I go away for a long weekend and miss all the fun!!! This was hysterically funny. Thank you JM and the rest of you for one of the best reads in a long time...

And since it has taken on a serious tone in the last page, I'd like to add something on subs thinking they have to put up with being abused.

IMHO it boils down to a submissive knowing who s/he is and what s/he needs. REALLY understanding h/er needs. Of course most submissives mold themselves in order to please a Dominant, healthy ones mold themselves within the context of their own needs.

Unhealthy ones, have difficulty setting limits and boundaries and therefore cannot adequately inform the Dominant regarding his/her boundaries.

In the (hysterically funny because they are oh so true) examples...

Pushing for a telephone number because a Dominant needs to reassure himself that the person on the other end is indeded a female is a ligitimate rationale and that's why it works so often. But, it pales compared to giving up real life information to a total stranger who needs to feel better about who he is talking to and is an inability to set boundaries for one's own safety.

Pushing for a webcam exchange, is often presented in exaclty the same manner, and the submissive feels she has to prove who she is... But it pales compared to the very real possibility and probablity that it is a live feed on a porn site.

The Interent is a playground of instant cyber-gratification and many, many people play into that. What I have seen, expereinced and been told, leads me to believe that one of the primary reasons submissives are 'easy targets', is because of the unfocused (as opposed to a focused one) need to please..... please anyone! Using the need to serve against the submissive in order to obtain that instant cyber gratification. And unfortunately it works all too often.

One of the reasons this was soooooo funny is because we have all experienced at least one of those 'demands' and lived to tell the tale.

FWIW, IMHO D/s is all about time, development, and trust. Trust cannot be asked for and delivered in a 10 minute chat, a MB or a pm for that matter, it evoles over time and experience. While one of the hardest things for most to do is wait, besides a soul of service, it is the one true gift of the submissive, the gift of patience, the ability to endure and to wait.

I'd urge anyone, Dom/me or submissive, to use time wisely even on line... It is the stuff that allows for real trust to develop.. Nothing else does this. Time allows for actions to speak for both D & s, time allows for promises to be kept, time allows for warts to appear, time allows for respect to be given, accepted and understood, time allows for consistency, time allows for it all to happen on its own.

Take your time, learn, discover, enjoy each step along the way.. there is no door prize for Dominating in 10 minutes or less, or submitting in 10 minutes or less... Honest!

Just my 2 cents....

~ Cait

That was post #112, on this page:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=182795&page=5&pp=25&highlight=haven

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Catalina is female.

I highly recommend the thread to which she provided a link. It's quite amusing, but thought-provoking at the same time. There are a few serious gems hidden in its pages as well. For example:



That was post #112, on this page:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=182795&page=5&pp=25&highlight=haven

Thank you Alice - for the correction, the link, and for stopping by and posting. You are always welcome.

 

[FurryFury]

Well, this is an interesting thread. I have mixed feelings about it. I see none of us as perfect and that relationships, particularly online ones rarely last long. How I wish it were different. How I miss the people I've met online that were interesting, gave me hope and a taste of D/s. Sadly, most are unable to maintain their interest in one person or thing, either that or I'm simply not interesting enough.

Back to not being perfect though. I'm not. No one is. The young or learning Dom who messes up with one potential sub or more may one day learn how to deal with themselves and a sub in a really good way.

The young or learning sub may mess up with one or more potential sub before learning how to deal with themselves and a Dom in a really good way.

So, while I like the idea of possibility outing the ones Dom or sub, that don't learn, inflict non consensual emotional hurt because they are inexpert, fickle or what have you, or set out to deceive from day one, I'm certainly not going to be the one cast the first stone. Who gets to judge these people?

On the other hand, I can empathize with anyone feeling emotional chaos from such things. I tend to side with the females on this too, I'll admit that.

I may add more later but that's all I have to say about this right now. I'm just so tired right now.

Fury

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

Well, this is an interesting thread. I have mixed feelings about it. I see none of us as perfect and that relationships, particularly online ones rarely last long. How I wish it were different. How I miss the people I've met online that were interesting, gave me hope and a taste of D/s. Sadly, most are unable to maintain their interest in one person or thing, either that or I'm simply not interesting enough.

Back to not being perfect though. I'm not. No one is. The young or learning Dom who messes up with one potential sub or more may one day learn how to deal with themselves and a sub in a really good way.

The young or learning sub may mess up with one or more potential sub before learning how to deal with themselves and a Dom in a really good way.

So, while I like the idea of possibility outing the ones, Dom or sub, that don't learn, inflict non-consensual emotional hurt because they are inexpert, fickle or what have you, or set out to deceive from day one, I'm certainly not going to be the one to cast the first stone. Who gets to judge these people?

On the other hand, I can empathize with anyone feeling emotional chaos from such things. I tend to side with the females on this too, I'll admit that.

I may add more later but that's all I have to say about this right now. I'm just so tired right now.

Fury

Thank you, Dearest Fury. You have touched on the heart of the idea behind this thread - which was - the suggestion of someone known to us both - and whose advice and input I value.

I repeat, my intent is not to "out" either the Dom/me or sub by name, it is however, merely to bring to light those who seem to consistently inflict emotional hurt - and do not learn - from that which they do - and go blithely on their merry way.

x 11​

 

[Kajira Callista]

Thank you, Dearest Fury. You have touched on the heart of the idea behind this thread - which was - the suggestion of someone known to us both - and whose advice and input I value.

I repeat, my intent is not to "out" either the Dom/me or sub, but merely to bring to light those who seem to consistently inflict emotional hurt - and do not learn - from that which they do - and go blithely on their merry way.

x 11​

How about those who allow others to inflict unwanted emotional pain on them and do not learn from that which they do?

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

How about those who allow others to inflict unwanted emotional pain on them and do not learn from that which they do?

Then My SilkyShadow - you may speak of it here. If you wish to rant and name a name - then do so. You know you always have an open floor with me. If it still rankles - then speak of it. If it still hurts or angers you - then vent yourself. Let the others know whom to be leery of or watchful for.

Forewarned is forearmed Silky, and we are all fallable. Some may seem to make the same mistake(s) and think they have learned their lesson - and then - in the throes and hopes of blind faith and trust - it happens again.

Or, if you prefer, send me the name of the one you are referring to privately.

​

 

[A Desert Rose]

I want it known now that I'm running for secretary of this sub club.

Watch for a future campaign thread coming to a computer near you.

 

[Victoria_2001_02769]

I want it known now that I'm running for secretary of this sub club.

Watch for a future campaign thread coming to a computer near you.

*grins and puts your name on the ballot* Thank you for your contribution to the effort!

 

[WriterDom]

I want it known now that I'm running for secretary of this sub club.

Watch for a future campaign thread coming to a computer near you.

A secretary with a bad keyboard? What other skills do you have? Can you take dicktation?