boyfriend problems???

[hazeleyes88]

im 23 and been with my boyfriend since i was 16. He his the only guy i have ever slept with. The problem is are sex life is so boring now. He doesnt make any sounds are talk during sex,which i find very annoying. He also doesnt want sex with out a condom even though im on the pill, because of this we always have sex in the bedroom. i also wouldnt mind role playing but he isnt into it. even when i give him head he just sits there and watches tv.I love him a lot but im 23 and we have the sex life of a couple in a retirement home or WORSE. any ideas how i can spice things up?

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Have you tried communicating with him about it?

 

[livin1971]

Same question here

 

[NippleMuncher]

Same question here.

You need to be able to openly and honestly communicate with your partner about all things in life, not just sex. If the two of you can't do that, you are destined for a life of disappointment. Better to figure out now where this relationship is going and HOW it is going to get there than to waste any more time stuck in a dead end.

 

[NateBiDude]

Good luck talking to him about it. I mean, you've been together for a long time now so hopefully you guys have some openness in discussing how you feel about things. I haven't been in a long term relationship, so I may not be offering good advice, but I think if my girlfriend brought up something like that, I'd want to hear how she felt about it and maybe we could talk about different ideas to spice things up. Good luck.

 

[subwannabe]

I hate to hurt your feelings but you are naive and need to realize that this relationship is not going to work out, no matter what you do. You need to move on. By naive I mean that you have only had one real boyfriend and one lover for 7 years from 16 to 23. You just don't know any thing else but him. Too many people, especially women, get caught up in this trap. Maybe it boils down to laziness in that it is just easier to live with what you have rather than find Mr. Right. This guy is not Mr. Right and never will be. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can find Mr. Right. The plain simple fact is that almost everyone goes through several boyfriends and girlfriends before they find the right one. By settling you are condemmning yourself to a life that gets worse and worse, and you aren't even happy now.

 

[nakdsub]

Again...

Where are when you chose to talk to him is very important. Don't sit down next to him while he's watching his favorite TV show and start talking. Make a date, a time and a place. Someplace quiet where you won't be disturbed and you have plenty of time.

"Honey, I have something I want to talk to you about. It's important to me and I'd like to set aside a time when you can give me your undivided attention, maybe tomorrow evening after dinner? Could you block out a couple hours for just you and I?

 

[Lynn33]

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[LaSalia]

If He's Not Open...

I've been with my husband since 15, we actually met when I was 14. I've never even DATED anyone else. Our sex life is awesome because we're both creative people and care a lot about the other person's needs.

If you can't talk to him about sex, that's a big problem. You probably don't want to throw all your fantasies at him at one time, but asking him to maybe talk dirty to you, or lose the condom, or just have sex in a different room, these are all small steps. If he can't take one of them, you need to realize that you either need to break up, or resign yourself to an unfulfilled sex life for the rest of your life.

You've been together for a lot of years, yet there's no proposal? I didn't marry my husband until we were your age too, but he proposed right after we both graduated from high school. We've had kids together. Your guy may have some emotional connection issues, maybe he needs counseling?

You guys need to talk, and if he won't, you should seriously consider bailing. It's tough, but your own love may just be based off of something that doesn't exist any more. He has to share it or there's no hope.

 

[sunandshadow]

I was in a situation much like this. Basically a guy acts like this for one of two reasons: he's just not that into you (maybe you're not his type, maybe he's just bored of your relationship, maybe he's bi or mostly gay...), or he's just not that into sex (i.e. tending toward asexual). Either way, there isn't a solution. You can't change what's inside his head. You're best off getting free of him and finding someone more enthusiastic. Whatever you do, don't marry him, although he probably wouldn't be eager to get married anyway, unless he values the relationship for the sake of appearances.

 

[maxshela]

im 23 and been with my boyfriend since i was 16. He his the only guy i have ever slept with. The problem is are sex life is so boring now. He doesnt make any sounds are talk during sex,which i find very annoying. He also doesnt want sex with out a condom even though im on the pill, because of this we always have sex in the bedroom. i also wouldnt mind role playing but he isnt into it. even when i give him head he just sits there and watches tv.I love him a lot but im 23 and we have the sex life of a couple in a retirement home or WORSE. any ideas how i can spice things up?

Communication is very important in all relationships.

If you want to try spicing it up: when you are out on a long drive, just take off your pants and start playing with your self. When he is nice and hard ask him if he wants a BJ. Or get him to take you out and wear a skirt with no panties and flash him or even someone else (make sure he see it). Then sit on his lap, maybe even ask if he wants you right there and then.
When you give him a BJ do you lick his balls? Try playing with his ass-hole and don't do it when he is watching TV.

Don't deny your self a great sex life because he doesn't want one.

 

[Ruth12]

Good job!