Bordering on submissive?

[RoryN]

I'm wanting to embrace this side of my bedroom personality.

I know a lot of people who speak passionately about what it means to be submissive and so forth; not sure I evenly fit the description. Best I can say is that I'd like to be told what to do re: pleasuring a woman, and to give up control in terms of what gets done to me. I don't mind switching back, either - but I'm more of a "suck it hard" than "suck it hard, bitch" guy. So I'm not sure how far my "dom" side would go.

I'd like to think I've got a wide-open mind about this stuff, so please go ahead and ask questions / give suggestions / anecdotes, what have you.

EDIT: It's not the best of titles; a bit of a cop-out. Figured I'd address this before the first response.

 

[myinnerslut]

please please PLEASE dont feel like you have to fit some sort of pre-defined mold of what submissive is. take some time, do some reasearch, do what feels right for you, and have fun.

 

[RoryN]

please please PLEASE dont feel like you have to fit some sort of pre-defined mold of what submissive is. take some time, do some reasearch, do what feels right for you, and have fun.

I totally agree, and I totally don't feel like I have to fit one. I'm fine with having a whole host of different turn-ons.

Thanks for the input.

 

[Netzach]

I'm more of a "suck it hard" than "suck it hard, bitch"

While I prefer the latter, this is sheer brilliance as a descriptor. Seriously, hold onto this wording, it really explains tons without going on for hours, good stuff. Sounds like you know yourself pretty well.

 

[RoryN]

While I prefer the latter, this is sheer brilliance as a descriptor. Seriously, hold onto this wording, it really explains tons without going on for hours, good stuff. Sounds like you know yourself pretty well.

That one aspect of myself has always been true. Thanks!

 

[ShyVixen]

I'm wanting to embrace this side of my bedroom personality.

I know a lot of people who speak passionately about what it means to be submissive and so forth; not sure I evenly fit the description. Best I can say is that I'd like to be told what to do re: pleasuring a woman, and to give up control in terms of what gets done to me. I don't mind switching back, either - but I'm more of a "suck it hard" than "suck it hard, bitch" guy. So I'm not sure how far my "dom" side would go.

I'd like to think I've got a wide-open mind about this stuff, so please go ahead and ask questions / give suggestions / anecdotes, what have you.

EDIT: It's not the best of titles; a bit of a cop-out. Figured I'd address this before the first response.

Best advice I can give, do some research, try things out (always the fun part!). Don't fit yourself into any kind of category, or get tangled up in the semantics of labels.

I'm probably not the best person to talk to about this, lol. But I'm speaking from my own personal experience. When I first started posting here I was worried about not fitting neatly into the category of a 'submissive'. Chatting with a few people made me realize you don't have to tick every box on the what it means to a sub checklist

 

[EmpressFi]

please please PLEASE dont feel like you have to fit some sort of pre-defined mold of what submissive is. take some time, do some reasearch, do what feels right for you, and have fun.

I could NOT say this any better...

so many of our disagreements on this board seem to stem from the fact that everyone's submission is subjective. It is between you and the person you call your dominant. If the two of you are happy with who you are.. that's the only thing that matters.

So research.. read a lot.. find what makes you tick... and then just be who you are

 

[VelvetDarkness]

If you've spent much time in the BDSM corner of Lit you'll know that there are regular munches and places you can go if you want to. Do you already have a partner to broach all this to or are you single and looking for someone similarly openminded?

If your sub streak is stronger than your dom one then I'd suggest exploring that facet of yourself first.

 

[Guest]

Don't know if this will help any, but from my experience, I'm focused on Mistress's pleasure in the bedroom. That's my first--and really, now that I think about it--only priority. I trust Her to make sure that my needs are satisfied (or not, depending on Her whim).

I think maybe submission in the bedroom is a shift of perspective. If I'm supposed to lay there and take it because that's what She wants, I do. If She wants me to service Her, that's what happens. It's about Her pleasure.

Your mileage, of course, may vary.

 

[subbielez]

Best advice I can give, do some research, try things out (always the fun part!). Don't fit yourself into any kind of category, or get tangled up in the semantics of labels.

I'm probably not the best person to talk to about this, lol. But I'm speaking from my own personal experience. When I first started posting here I was worried about not fitting neatly into the category of a 'submissive'. Chatting with a few people made me realize you don't have to tick every box on the what it means to a sub checklist

All too true...

And love that av, btw. That definitely turns ME on.

 

[Genius_Of_Love]

What ever became of this? I find the topic very intriguing.