Bisexuality

[~¤MzJones¤~]

We are tired of being analyzed, defined and represented by people other than ourselves, or worse yet, not considered at all. We are frustrated by the imposed isolation and invisibility that comes from being told or expected to choose either a homosexual or heterosexual identity. Monosexuality is a heterosexist dictate used to oppress homosexuals and to negate the validity of bisexuality.

Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone's sexuality, including your own.

We are angered by those who refuse to accept our existence; our issues; our contributions; our alliances; our voice. It is time for the bisexual voice to be heard....We bisexuals tend to define bisexuality in ways that are unique to our own individuality. There are as many definitions of bisexuality as there are bisexuals.

~from theATM Manifesto

Discuss.

 

[~¤MzJones¤~]

Discuss.

Or not

Fifty three views and not one person has a thought or idea about the above statement?

Do you agree? Do you think it is bunk?

What do you think?

 

[oh21]

Well I'll be the first. It's a very nice thought....especially the part about the individual definitions of bisexuality.

Perhaps that's why some of us feel as if we cannot peg ourselves with a spesific label at all.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I don't think that the label *bisexual* means much more than the fact that You have an open attraction for both sexes. I do consider myself to be bi but only to the point of my sexual preferences or lackthereof. Labels of any sort disregard what it is that makes us human.

I do happen to agree with the thought behind the peice. Bisexuality is seen as being unhappy with one or the other sex. In my case it *is* a fact. I do need both to feel completely fulfilled: hence my need for open, polyamorous relationships but I doubt very seriously that everyone feels as i do for the same reasons.

that's my 2 cents
PET

 

[shaded_one]

Well I am bisexaul, so I feel I can say something about that. There are people that beleive that those things are true about bisexauls and there are people that beleive we don't exsist. In fact I even know of one person who told me that I couldn't be a bisexaul because only women could be bisexaul so because I was male I couldn't be a bisexaul. I really have stopped leting it bother me. I look at this way, anybody who knows me can tell that none of those stereotypes are true of me, anybody who doesn't know me can get to know me and find out that those stereotypes aren't true of me, and anybody that doesn't want to get to know me... well I really don't care what they think.

 

[~¤MzJones¤~]

I think part of my issue with being "Bisexual" was that so many believed it ment I liked to kiss girls because boys thought it was cool. A friend sent me that a few years ago after a particularly heated debate with someone over the fact that I was not a lesbian that refused to identify as such. It is still one of my hot buttons, that I some how must choose one of the two acccepted *and yes I use that term loosely* sides.

I just wanted to see a few other opinions on the topic.

I know alot of women who play with other women, but are not into having relationships with women. they are as pet said bisexual in their sexuality. So I have actually at times clarified by saying I am Biamorous. I guess many people dont see that it is an issue but for me to say Yes I am bisexual leads to alot of that "you are just confused pick our side, or hey baby I dig that can I watch" Which down right pisses me off at times.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I think part of my issue with being "Bisexual" was that so many believed it ment I liked to kiss girls because boys thought it was cool. A friend sent me that a few years ago after a particularly heated debate with someone over the fact that I was not a lesbian that refused to identify as such. It is still one of my hot buttons, that I some how must choose one of the two acccepted *and yes I use that term loosely* sides.

I just wanted to see a few other opinions on the topic.

I know alot of women who play with other women, but are not into having relationships with women. they are as pet said bisexual in their sexuality. So I have actually at times clarified by saying I am Biamorous. I guess many people dont see that it is an issue but for me to say Yes I am bisexual leads to alot of that "you are just confused pick our side, or hey baby I dig that can I watch" Which down right pisses me off at times.

For me, i come to this from the other side. Most of my LTR have been with women. I have more trust in them and feel infinately more comfortable around them. I like men but I love women, see the difference?

I think it is funny how most people assume that if You are a female who claims to be *bi* it is only so you can draw more men to You. On the other hand (as my first male LTR told me...he is bi) most people believe that if a guy enjoys giving (or receiving) pleasure to (or from) another male...well then he is just trying to hide the fact that he is really *gay*. How infantile does that sound, really?

Labels are just a way to pigeon hole some one into sharing what is quite frankly no one else's business....(though I really like the term biamorous...NICE!!)

ok...end rant...
PET

 

[shaded_one]

I too like the term Biamorous. It clearly tells that us bi folk think there is more to life than just sex. It would be hard to find a term that discribes all that a person is. So I don't really like perfixs. All and all I prefer just being sexaul and amorus, but people really don't seem to get that.

 

[RandomInk]

I never put a title on my sexuality, but if someone asks me I tell them I'm bisexual, I like to put it that way.

 

[James Blandings]

I am in agreement with the ATM manifesto.

I have known I was bisexual as long as I can remember. My first sexual relationship, when I was 16, was with an older man. I have had LTRs with both men and women.

I tend to be phase-oriented. I go through long stretches in my life when I am mostly attracted to men and other times to women.
But during those periods I am always still aware of my bisexual nature.

 

[Rhys]

Sillyman once said on the GB (and I am paraphrasing heavily) that he was just attracted to whomever he was attracted to and the genitalia tended to sort itself out over time.

I thought that was a brilliant way to explain pretty much how I feel about it. I am hard pressed to call myself gay or bi but I do know that I can be intellectually and physically attracted to either sex. I consider myself a very tolerant person that is mostly straight...I just curve hard to the left every once in a while.

 

[~¤MzJones¤~]

Sillyman once said on the GB (and I am paraphrasing heavily) that he was just attracted to whomever he was attracted to and the genitalia tended to sort itself out over time.

I thought that was a brilliant way to explain pretty much how I feel about it. I am hard pressed to call myself gay or bi but I do know that I can be intellectually and physically attracted to either sex. I consider myself a very tolerant person that is mostly straight...I just curve hard to the left every once in a while.

Thanks for the reminder of that great quote Rhys.

 

[Netzach]

I'm not bi anything because I reall believe that there are a multitude of genders out there, and that genitals are just there to get us off and make us have a few laughs.

I'm attracted to certain qualities in people, I'm attracted to them as individuals, I see something I think is hot and I want to go play That can happen very selectively with just about anyone according to gender generalities.

I landed a bi, androgynous, submissive boy into older nerdy scholarly guys and open relationships. Ideal partnership.

 

[Quint]

<hijack> James! Hi, James! *waves wildly* </hijack>

I really like the concept of attraction to qualities and traits rather than limiting it to "male" and "female." That really in a nutshell describes my interest in people. Hell, I could carry it so far as to say that I'm attracted to people because I haven't found the requisite traits in animals, but that might get me some weird looks.

However, I don't get angry with people who don't understand me. I have a friend who is quite firmly convinced that bisexuality is a myth and the people who claim it are just afraid to identify as gay. I think he's fulla crap but I don't get pissed at him. It's a confusing and hard-to-describe need. Like explaining Oz to Kansas; they just don't see the colors.

 

[Etoile]

I'm not bi anything because I reall believe that there are a multitude of genders out there, and that genitals are just there to get us off and make us have a few laughs.

I'm attracted to certain qualities in people, I'm attracted to them as individuals, I see something I think is hot and I want to go play That can happen very selectively with just about anyone according to gender generalities.

I landed a bi, androgynous, submissive boy into older nerdy scholarly guys and open relationships. Ideal partnership.

That's exactly what I've been thinking for a long time. Unfortunately most of society can't accept that there are more than two genders, so the word "bisexual" sticks.

 

[Pookie]

I have a friend who is quite firmly convinced that bisexuality is a myth and the people who claim it are just afraid to identify as gay.

After my boyfriend and I got engaged, I overheard an acquaintance ask another friend one day if my fiance knew I was a lesbian. I guess her idea was that I had to be either straight or a lesbian.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[shaded_one]

We all are basicly looking for the same thing: someone to love and/or have sex with. So does it really matter if the person or persons we chose to do these things with is of the same gender or some other gender than ourselves. I really don't think it does matter. And if it doesn't matter than we aren't really any kind of sexaul. We are just lovers, and personally I think the world needs more lovers.

 

[James Blandings]

<hijack> James! Hi, James! *waves wildly* </hijack>

I really like the concept of attraction to qualities and traits rather than limiting it to "male" and "female." That really in a nutshell describes my interest in people. Hell, I could carry it so far as to say that I'm attracted to people because I haven't found the requisite traits in animals, but that might get me some weird looks.

However, I don't get angry with people who don't understand me. I have a friend who is quite firmly convinced that bisexuality is a myth and the people who claim it are just afraid to identify as gay. I think he's fulla crap but I don't get pissed at him. It's a confusing and hard-to-describe need. Like explaining Oz to Kansas; they just don't see the colors.

Hi Quint!

I've been hearing that eventually I would realize that I was "really" gay for more than 30 years, but I'm still bi!

 

[namron711]

We are tired of being analyzed, defined and represented by people other than ourselves, or worse yet, not considered at all. We are frustrated by the imposed isolation and invisibility that comes from being told or expected to choose either a homosexual or heterosexual identity. Monosexuality is a heterosexist dictate used to oppress homosexuals and to negate the validity of bisexuality.

Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don't assume that there are only two genders. Do not mistake our fluidity for confusion, irresponsibility, or an inability to commit. Do not equate promiscuity, infidelity, or unsafe sexual behavior with bisexuality. Those are human traits that cross all sexual orientations. Nothing should be assumed about anyone's sexuality, including your own.

We are angered by those who refuse to accept our existence; our issues; our contributions; our alliances; our voice. It is time for the bisexual voice to be heard....We bisexuals tend to define bisexuality in ways that are unique to our own individuality. There are as many definitions of bisexuality as there are bisexuals.

~from theATM Manifesto

Discuss.

Worth repeating.

Let's face it...
people dislike that which is different from themselves. People are intolerant of that which is different from themselves. People tend to think that they know everything and can easily pigeon-hole everything with labels.

Thus the state of the world as it is.

It is incredible how the most advanced species on earth often tends to act with the least intelligence or dignity or integrity.

Could someone please help me down from this soapbox.

 

[Mari J]

From their homepage:

Anything That Moves is Officially Ended

We regret to declare that Anything That Moves magazine is officially ended. No further print issues will be produced; no further updates should be expected on this web site. The site itself may not continue to exist for more than another few months.

R.I.P. It was a good little zine.


Anyway, for a long time I tried to stick with the term bisexual, but I'm starting to look for something else, like pansexual, omnisexual, multi-, poly-. I hope something along those lines catches on.

 

[dizzylia]

R.I.P. It was a good little zine.


Anyway, for a long time I tried to stick with the term bisexual, but I'm starting to look for something else, like pansexual, omnisexual, multi-, poly-. I hope something along those lines catches on.

Why can't it just be sexual or... not?

Personally, I only label myself as bisexual when talking with people who just really don't get it. At least "bi" is something they can sort of understand, though not always in the way or to the degree I'd like.


-dizzy

 

[BitterIchor]

It's kind of interesting too see how some bisexuals look at things. Some believe they are simply bisexual, others seem intent on coming up with elaborate theories about sexuality that explains it but goes against everything else. These theories have one thing in common though, it indicates the bisexuals as the ones "closest" to the truth. I'm not sure if I'm glad that righteousness exists or if it annoys me.

Now, I'm a simple person. Too me there are three equal kinds of sexuality. Heterosexuality, bisexuality and homosexuality. I don't look at bisexuality in a different way than I do with the other two. Bisexuals are persons who get romantically and sexually attracted to both sexes. That's it. How that attracation manifests itself I don't go into, because I know everyone is different, regardless of sexual orientation.

 

[namron711]

The day that we stop labeling people is the day we should all strive for.

Do I have to know that WNBA player Sheryl Swopes is gay?
Gawd bless her.
It's her own darn business.

Think of all the conservative right wing politicians that have probably committed more personal indiscretions in their bedrooms than anyone else....

 

[dizzylia]

It's kind of interesting too see how some bisexuals look at things. Some believe they are simply bisexual, others seem intent on coming up with elaborate theories about sexuality that explains it but goes against everything else. These theories have one thing in common though, it indicates the bisexuals as the ones "closest" to the truth. I'm not sure if I'm glad that righteousness exists or if it annoys me.

Now, I'm a simple person. Too me there are three equal kinds of sexuality. Heterosexuality, bisexuality and homosexuality. I don't look at bisexuality in a different way than I do with the other two. Bisexuals are persons who get romantically and sexually attracted to both sexes. That's it. How that attracation manifests itself I don't go into, because I know everyone is different, regardless of sexual orientation.

*grins* That wasn't exactly my intent. I just don't often think of it, is what I meant. I do know what you mean, though.

For me, a sexual attraction usually involves much more than pure physicality, so it's not always gender that decides the "will I or won't I". But I'm not explaining myself very well.