Bi girl falling for Straight women

[confused20]

Sorry, this seems like it might be more of a psychology question...

I know i love men...everything about them drives me nuts...sexually i cant be near most men and not be aroused...however girls dont do much for me as a gender.

The problem? I do develop serious sexual and emotional lustings for certain women...

The past two have been STRAIGHT women...

i am driving myself nuts over these hopeless situations...theres no way they are going to have sex with me...yet i cant drag myself away from them...

I finally told the one girl about it, and that was a hellish nightmare...and im certainly not going to tell my other friend...

i keep wondering: why cant i find a nice Man to be interested in instead of agonizing over a particuar Straight woman? (or at least have a crush on a female person who is also into girls?)

Any one else ever experience this? if so what in the world did you do? Help!

 

[Different Guy]

Ok... I don't wanna state anything like, I know what things are but personally... most "real" bi-sexuals act differently to regular straight women in how they act, dress and live. (Of course, aside from screwing other women lol) Maybe it could be you're attracted to the way a straight woman presents herself for men, perhaps you're seeing them through a man's eyes?

As a guy, I see bi-sexual girls as a complete turn on. Two girls kissing is a nice site. The slight thought of guys is just yacky, disgusting and yuk! That's because I am a completely straight guy but with interest in none-straight women. Like I said, I dunno what's right, wrong or even what I'm saying but y'know, something might be relevent from that...?

 

[confused20]

thank you for your response!

i see that others have read the post...hasn't anyone ever experienced this? what did you do? did you talk to her about it? did you tell her how you felt? did you just let it die?

 

[Guest]

hmmm well I have never had a solid crush on another female...I have flirted and the usual... but mostly its a craving sexually. Perhaps you see them as a challenge...maybe its not 'up front'?

Do they give you any signals that maybe they are interested in you??

 

[capricious_chic]

I am not sure I can answer your question, as the amount of knowledge I have of you is limited to your post.. so I will just go with some vague ideas of people that I have known that have been in similar situations.

I have known women.. who have fallen madly in love with gay men... I have known gay men you have fallen madly in love with straight men.. (you can equate the "madly in love" part with just lust..lol) The similar theme of the people I know who do this.. is that they crave rejection. They continually "fall" for unattainable people.. and drive themselves nuts over it. It seems to be embedded deeply in the physche.. I by no means want to imply that is what you are doing.. just that this is the tendency that I have seen.

Instead of coming right out and telling your straight female friend that you have a crush on her and want to sex her up.. Have a revealing discussion with her.. to gauge what her thoughts are on experimentation and if she has any curiousity about the bi lifestyle.. I know my g/f's and I talk about this all the time, and we are all straight.. Then if it is something she would be open to.. take it from there.. if not.. let it die and just enjoy the friendship.

Hope that helps
CC

 

[lost]

Its possible you want them because they are not acsessable? (Just a suggestion.) The is some kind of disorder about this. Hope it might be helpful.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

It's called safety. Trust me, I've done this before a few times. I'm in the process of doing it right now. It's basically the same thing as having feelings for a man that you think you will never have. You can enjoy the feelings, and enjoy that warm rush as she enters the room, but you know you'll never have to get into a relationsihp (which can be a lot of work, or which can lead to heartbreak, or a million other things) with that person. So you can enjoy them, enjoy being in lust/love/like, whatever, and you're still safe.

 

[confused20]

thank you all for posting!

on one hand i agree with the safety idea, on the other i dont

here is why:
i usually have been friends with the women for at least a few months before i begin developing sexual attractions to them
...i thought maybe it was "proximity" except that 99% of my friends are other girls, and this has never happened before
also...i completly ruined my friendship with the one girl because i couldnt just sit back and enjoy it...i wanted more then just being friends...i wanted an actual sexual relationship...even though i knew before hand she was not bi sexual or lesbian
...and the same problem is now occuring again...i know she is not interested in girls...but it is getting to the point where i would rather end the friendship then continue to long for a more sexual relationship...

i hope that clears my situation up a little more

Thank you all so much for your comments!!!

 

[silken_mystery]

Well lets see I have a different point of view for you. I have been the object of such a crush. I was in no way bi at that time or even given thought to kissing another woman. She I admit had courage enough to confront me with her thoughts. At first I was shocked beyond all belief... Though intrigued as well. So my advice is swallow your nerve and approach. You never know what will happen the worst case senario is nothing and in which a case you lose nothing really... but you have to do something for anything to progress