Bi-Curious Effects on Relationships

[Runner_3]

Me and my gf have been together a year and 3 months. Shes kinky and adventerous and I love it. I've always been straight but lately I've been curious about stuff with another guy. I've talked to her about it and it turns her off. She keeps saying she doesnt think it would do anything for her. Her best friend, ryan (a girl), loves the idea of 2 guys doing stuff together and she wants to get together with me and my gf and have a 4some with her and her bf. She wants to do stuff to my gf, her best friend, and watch me and her bf do stuff. I said I would be willing her her bf itsnt sure but were more concered about my gf being ok with it.

My gf also got mad lately when she saw my internet history and saw that I had been on here a lot in the GLTB forum. I assured her I wasnt gay just curious but she thinks I get more turned on by stuff on there and porn then I do her and that is totally not the case. I'm just interested in mixing it up some and trying something new. Im even ok with me and another guy dominating her.

I guess my question is how do I try to convince her that I'm just curious and nothing more and trying a few things wont make me gay? Her best friend has been trying to talk to her too cause she really wants the 4some. It just seems that guy-guy stuff turns her off while Id like to be fucked and suck a cock. Should I just forget about it or what?

How does being bi or bi-curious affect your relationships?

 

[SemiColon]

Being curious doesn't make you gay. I think you should find someone who is okay with you experimenting.

 

[Runner_3]

^yea but I dont wanna leave my gf. Other than that issue we are great together and we love each other a lot. I'm hoping she will come around cause its not going to change the fact I'm with her, wanna be with her, and love her.

 

[alaskabibear]

To answer your question; being bi can ruin your relationship if not handled with wisdom.

Long term relationships are always a matter of give and take. If the idea of m/m action really just turns her off (as opposed to her being more frightened of the unknown and how that might impact the relationship) - well, if she is really turned off by it, I don't think you can change that. We are all sexually aroused by different things. Sometimes we get lucky and find someone who shares our particular thing, but rarely do we find someone that is exactly like us. (I don't mean to be gross, but to make an extreme point - what if she were extremely aroused by rubbing dog poop in her hair and just couldn't wait to share that with you. Would any amount of coaxing or forcing make you ever enjoy having dog poop in your hair? I think not.)

Since this is just a "curiosity" thing for you, I suggest you drop the pressure to "make" her be turned on by it and start a discussion (it maybe a long, long, long one lasting many years!). After that you can decide if you stay or leave.

 

[south_florida_bicur]

Me and my gf have been together a year and 3 months. Shes kinky and adventerous and I love it. I've always been straight but lately I've been curious about stuff with another guy. I've talked to her about it and it turns her off. She keeps saying she doesnt think it would do anything for her. Her best friend, ryan (a girl), loves the idea of 2 guys doing stuff together and she wants to get together with me and my gf and have a 4some with her and her bf. She wants to do stuff to my gf, her best friend, and watch me and her bf do stuff. I said I would be willing her her bf itsnt sure but were more concered about my gf being ok with it.

My gf also got mad lately when she saw my internet history and saw that I had been on here a lot in the GLTB forum. I assured her I wasnt gay just curious but she thinks I get more turned on by stuff on there and porn then I do her and that is totally not the case. I'm just interested in mixing it up some and trying something new. Im even ok with me and another guy dominating her.

I guess my question is how do I try to convince her that I'm just curious and nothing more and trying a few things wont make me gay? Her best friend has been trying to talk to her too cause she really wants the 4some. It just seems that guy-guy stuff turns her off while Id like to be fucked and suck a cock. Should I just forget about it or what?

How does being bi or bi-curious affect your relationships?

How do you know that once you try it you wont want cock more then pussy? Never know...

A friend of mine once told me that she broke up with a guy when he told her he wanted to experiment with other guys. Reason why she broke up was because if he wanted cock then she couldnt satisfy his needs. During their relationship there was always something that she could not give him and he would be seeking it elsewhere... because of that she broke it off with him..

if you are truly curious you gotta play your cards carefully. If you know she does not like it then you have to decide which is more important..

 

[Runner_3]

Good point alaskabibear and thanks.

Her and I could still do things with a strapon, its not the same as the real thing but maybe see how she feels about that.

 

[alaskabibear]

Good point alaskabibear and thanks.

Her and I could still do things with a strapon, its not the same as the real thing but maybe see how she feels about that.

I might suggest even something less "erotic" to start (since this is already a "touchy" issue, even a strap-on may be less than erotic for her as well). You need to find out why she is so opposed to m/m contact. This probably has more to do with ideas and moral/religious beliefs that it does with sexual arousal. A good place to start is to simply obtain some reliable information on the subject of human sexuality and see what level of knowledge she has about sexual preferences other than heterosexual. If you believe that homosexuality is not a problem, then the question is; can she come to that belief as well and if she can't can you accept that?

 

[none2_none2]

I think you also have to ask yourself is her turn off only because it is guy/guy sex; or because despite her kinkiness, she still believes in monogamy.

If it is just the guy/guy stuff, I would think over time that she would come around. Perhaps you would have her call the shots and of course make sure you use safe sex.

If it is a monogamy issue too, then it wouldn't matter if your fantasy was get it on with a hung stud, or Chinese lactating dwarf wrestler lesbian poets, it just won't fly with her. You could wreck your relationship if you push it too far and she doesn't want an open relationship.

 

[Runner_3]

Shes ok with doing stuff with another girl or guy eventhough she hasnt. She's curious about stuff with a girl and think she would really like it but shes not sure if she could do stuff to the other girl but she has no problem with a girl doing stuff to her. She would also like to be with 2 guys, them focused on her, which is why i dont think she would be into guy-guy.

 

[gingermango]

I guess my question is how do I try to convince her that I'm just curious and nothing more and trying a few things wont make me gay?

If she's that insecure, you probably won't be able too. If she's not willing to discuss things rationally and be open-minded to the idea that even if it doesn't turn HER on, that turning YOU on and letting you enjoy it with her approval and acceptance is in fact a form of love that can bring you closer, well . . . Been there, done that, got the divorce after 10 years.

All I can offer more at this point is good luck.

 

[tonethebone]

My wife of 20 years feels the same as your girlfriend. Girl/Girl might be fun. Even two guys at once gets her hot. But Male/Male turns her off. I've told her that's a typical double standard way of thinking, but she says it's just how she feels.

So over the last few months I have focused on the Girl/Girl idea. Thinking that when she's comfortable with that. Introduce more MMF ideas. Eventually adding a little play between the two males.

It may take time, but I feel it's worth the effort.

 

[Runner_3]

Good Luck tonethebone.

My gf talks about being dominated by a girl a lot and when were getting busy we role play with it sometime and I've even mention surprising her with another girl sometime or guy and she gets really hot thinking about that. So, I guess I'm doing the same thing as you. Taking it slow and seeing where it goes and hopefully it goes where you and me both want it to.

 

[MrsCali30]

I'd say give it some time. Experiment with another girl like she wants and see how comfortable she is with another person in the relationship. She may open up over time. That is my hope at least. Good luck.

 

[Runner_3]

thanks MrsCali30

 

[jersey1982]

Here's the deal my husband and I have, since we're both bi...

[...] I started to type a huge explanation here, but it boils down to communication, communication, communication, trust, and communication.

It all can work if you both want it to. If she doesn't want it to work (even for your own pleasure) then it is a guaranteed fail.

Something else to think about: You can't grow a pussy for her, but she can always attach a cock.

 

[SirLeo]

Another Thought

Lots of good advice already. Here's another piece. Try sharing fantasies when you are sexually engaged, then overtime roleplay. My wife and I do this and as time goes on the fantasies can get reaaly wild and kinky. Will we ever actually bring in a 3rd or 4th? Who knows and I don't really care. What we create now is sooo smoking hot. How much better could a real person be and is it worth the risks.

As to online history, share your hot posts, stories and pics with her. Mix it up. INvite her to be part of that part of your life. Sometimes my wife and I go online together and cyber. Its very hot to be fucking her from behind, looking over her shoulder while she is typing and telling whoever is on the other end what I'm doing to her!

Good luck!

 

[tonethebone]

WOW Leo, I'd sure like to be on the other end of that chat