Best Friends & Lovers: Can You Be Both?

[DriveSouth]

My lover is my best freind. She's exciting and fun to play with and she's always there for me ...

 

[juicylips]

Some people have posted that after fucking their best friend they could no longer be best friends. It was awkward and they had lost something that made the friendship work.

Have you found this to be true?

Or

Is your lover also your best friend?

Cassidy

 

[april-wine]

My lover was first and foremost my friend, and still is.....

As a matter of fact, an ex-lover of mine is still, one of my best friends.......

 

[MidnightAngel]

I think you can be both. But I think that it's really bad if something goes wrong. Then you lose both your lover and your best friend. That leaves a huge hole in your life....

 

[StondTmplPilot]

I think your lover SHOULD be your best friend. This should be the person you turn to for support when times are hard, and the person who comes to you under the same cicumstances. You should be able to share everything with this person, and they with you. If you are truly committed to this person then to me it only makes sense, they already are your best friend.

 

[estevie]

Definately! My lover is my best friend, we share everything...even the shit I tell him when I KNOW he will laugh at me and never let me live it down!

He may not always be my lover, but he will always be my best friend.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

I won't make a move on a friend, (this make it hard lol)
but I have a feeling if I knew that friend felt for me the same as i did them then just mabey i'd do 'something'

yes Lovers can be best friends and isn't that the way it should be????

 

[Summery]

I can be both best friend and lover. My best relationship yet was with someone who was not only my lover but the one I considered to be my best friend. And If I ever do have another relationship again, I want 'him' to be my best friend!

 

[GuyJD]

I once had a friend who came to me for help. She said that she was going through a nervous breakdown and needed a place to stay for a while. So she stayed with me for about a week. She was very helpful around the house with me and the stay remained platonic.
About a month after that, I drove up in my driveway only to find her waiting outside my door for me. She told me that she needed to talk to me. As we walked into my apartment, she told me to follow her into my bedroom. It seemed that in return of what I had done for her, she wanted to make love to me. Unfortunately, after the sex, I was a bit confused. I wasn't sure if we had gone from friends to lovers or even dating for that matter. And because of that confusion, we didn't speak to each other for about two weeks. And when I finally had the nerve to call her to discuss my confusion, she clarified the matter and told me what I wanted to hear. That we were still friends and just lovers for that one night.
However, we eventually drifted apart.

Therefore, I feel that it depends on the situation. Sometimes friends can become lovers and still be friends. Sometimes not.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

I know I need to be friends before he becomes my lover. I cannot image an intimate relationship otherwise.

My best friend, however, remains a buddy from my high school years. We know each other too well, and I know she'll be there for me for the rest of our lives.

 

[Guest]

Where is Shy Tall Guy?


Isn't this his sort of topic?

 

[GuyJD]

Where is Shy Tall Guy?


Isn't this his sort of topic?

Probably too shy to respond to it, Unreg.

 

[Tank Girl]

if your lover isn't your best friend, they should be!

 

[Guest]

Probably too shy to respond to it, Unreg.

I've learned many things in my residence as Unregistered and STG is a Guy and probably Tall, but he ain't Shy.

Maybe he's found a new girlfriend. God bless the boy!

 

[juicylips]

Where is Shy Tall Guy?


Isn't this his sort of topic?

I think he is avoiding me. I drove him crazy on his Love or Sex thread.

Cassidy

 

[tn_8tiv]

My lover is definitely my best friend. Although our affair started as just an escape for both of us, we soon found that sharing more than sex was what we both were seeking. Now we share all of our problems, worries and cares with each other and draw strength from the relationship. There is nothing taboo in our relationship and since we don't have the pressures of day to day family problems, we can concentrate on making the other happy.

 

[Guest]

Shy Tall Guy get in here now!

They're talking about unrequited love!


Don't you have something to SAY!

 

[juicylips]

I think your lover SHOULD be your best friend. This should be the person you turn to for support when times are hard, and the person who comes to you under the same cicumstances. You should be able to share everything with this person, and they with you. If you are truly committed to this person then to me it only makes sense, they already are your best friend.

Ok, then, BUT who do you go to when that relationship gets rocky? Who do you talk to when you are having problems with your best friend/lover? See where I am going with this?

Cassidy

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Ok, then, BUT who do you go to when that relationship gets rocky? Who do you talk to when you are having problems with your best friend/lover? See where I am going with this?

Cassidy

you should be able to talk to them.. let them know what you're thinking and feeling. not just when its convenient or when you need a friend, but all the time. they're your best friend for a reason (to be your friend) but they're your lover because you both have agreed to that and willing to be more with each other.

as for me, right now, my best friend is my lover. and even if things change, i know that i'll be able to have him as my best friend still (it will be difficult at first). but i know i can talk to him about everything, even the stuff that has to do with him. i figure if he makes me mad, or i have a problem with him or something he's done, then he should be the one i talk to, not someone else since the other person isnt going to have a clue as to what's going on.

 

[plasticman33]

I have no problem with my lover being my friend! Would you want your lover to be your enemy??

 

[carrie-on]

Does this include husbands as well? We have been married for 26 yrs. and my husband is my lover and my best friend. I talk to him about everything and he doesn't condemn me for anything I do. Like estevie said he even laughs at me sometimes for silly shit I have done but I wouldn't have him any other way.

 

[PowerOfOne]

A friend and a lover....

It sounds like the perfect relationship! But if the relationship goes sour you lose a lover AND a friend! Seems to be a two edged sword here.

 

[marduk]

I have an ex girlfriend who i have remained friends with since jr high ..we do have sex once in awhile and have remained best of friendso for me yes i can have both

 

[JenJ]

my lover is my best friend because we were friends before we were lovers.

I am still best friends with my ex lover because we were friends before we were lovers.

 

[Georgia Girl]

Both sides of the coin...

I was married for 10 yrs to the person I considered to be my best friend until I discovered he had another best friend too. With the ending of the marriage came the ending of the friendship and with the combination of the two anger on a scale that is not really rational or imaginable.

The other side is that I am now in a relationship with a man whom I would not hesitate to call the closest person to me, he knows all the little intricacies and he has a special touch that soothes me when the world gets to be too much.

Losing the one I thought was my friend by discovering I had lived a lie was not easy but I believe that the only way to be is best friends with your lover. If you are not that close then you end up with-holding things from them which only drives a wedge between the two of you.