Believe it or not...

[Ms_Lilith]

If you're not taking a risk...you're not trusting him.

To me, that's what trust is. Not just saying you believe in someone.....but believing in someone.

I do believe in him. *shrug* Right now, our condoms are for birth control, as I'm not on anything hormonal, due to health issues. But even when I was on the shot, he insisted we use condoms as well, because I've gotten knocked up on birth control before.

I'm just saying, it's a possibility that he could cheat. And I know that. *shrug*

I could marry him, and we could decide to have kids, and give up the birth control, and it would STILL be a possibility. Something I'd have to deal with, if it did happen. *shrug* For the time being, we're not trying to have children, so why not ensure that safety?

 

[Matthew Craig]

Believe it or not...

http://gcostanza.ytmnd.com/

 

[JinXed]

The odds of a woman getting pregnant with the man wearing a condom and the odds of her getting pregnant while on the pill are about the same.

And if she's having sex, yes she's STILL taking a chance that both could fail and she'd get pregnant. So she IS willing to take SOME chance she'd get pregnant.

do you actually bother to read what anyone says here before typing?

She's stated, several times, that she's gotten pregnant while using bc pills - so they now use condoms in conjunction with her own birth control. You made it sound as though she doesn't trust him, because they use two different forms of birth control.

 

[snojo]

*shrug* It's a fact of life that someone might be trying to fuck you over.

I trust my partner implicitly. I believe he won't cheat. He's never given me any reason to believe that he would. But the reality is that he *might*. *shrug* Because I trust him, I might have to pay for that trust someday, if he does... to me, it's worth it.. but we've been together four years.

He still has to wear that condom, though.

I'm mot sure I fully understand.
You say you trust him implicitly yet you insist he wear a condom. If it for any reason other than contraception, wouldn't you be contradicting yourself?

I suppose I was just lucky in my relationships, trust was a given and never questioned.

 

[Bohemian Blue]

I never implied it was an accident in that particular case, I was saying that it does happen.
If she admitted that she took the placebo's then it's obviously wasn't a mistake on her part. Duh.

We weren't talking about her were we. We were talking about his culpability.

He might be responsible for the child, but he's not responsible for creating the child. He didn't intend to, and didn't want to, and believed the odds of it happening were slim. Yet you and others seem to believe he shares and equal amount of responsibility. And zero empathy.

I didn't hear him whining, merely a post by a friend of his. And the reaction is interesting to say the least.

 

[JinXed]

Of course not. But this isn't about how your cunt feels. At all.



None of this counters anything I've said. I'm not anti-birth control in the form of a condom; I'm anti-you making this ridiculous statement about it not being "horrible", and how there's only a partial loss of sensation when you've never worn one on your dick (since you have none) - trying to downplay the issue in order to illustrate that, if a man were to refuse, he does so for petty reasons. That's not always true.

The prospect of putting one on makes me go limp. She then infers that I don't turn her on. I shouldn't have to draw a line from Point A to Point B here to illustrate what a big problem that is, not to mention that men complain all the time about this issue.

Oh, I think it does have to do with how my cunt feels. Afterall, I am a participant in sex - whenever I have it.

I don't think it's horrible - if it were truly horrible then how does that spunk end up in the end of the condom? I do agree that it does desensitize, never said that it didn't. I only disagreed with the level of horrible-ness implied.





While married for over 10 years, we spent aproximately half of that condom free. Only 9 months of it birth control free - it was better for both of us. But it was still damned good when he had to slip that condom back on.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I'm mot sure I fully understand.
You say you trust him implicitly yet you insist he wear a condom. If it for any reason other than contraception, wouldn't you be contradicting yourself?

I suppose I was just lucky in my relationships, trust was a given and never questioned.

*shrug* It's a general rule. He and I have had sex without condoms before, but we got freaked out about pregnancy, so we use them now.

If I could go without the condoms, and know for sure I wouldn't get pregnant, with my partner, would I pass them up? If pregnancy was an ABSOLUTE impossibility? Yeah. I would. We've been together four years. But there's still the chance that he could cheat, and I could catch something. I'd have to deal with that, if it ever happened.

So I guess I'm contradicting there.

But I've never been in a situation where I wasn't ridiculously fertile. So condoms it is.

Like I said, even when we decide to have children, there's that risk, and it'll be somewhere in the back of my head... and if it happens, I'll deal. But I don't believe he'll cheat, and I believe I'll be fine. Until we choose to have kids, he's wearing a rubber.

 

[JinXed]

We weren't talking about her were we. We were talking about his culpability.

He might be responsible for the child, but he's not responsible for creating the child. He didn't intend to, and didn't want to, and believed the odds of it happening were slim. Yet you and others seem to believe he shares and equal amount of responsibility. And zero empathy.

I didn't hear him whining, merely a post by a friend of his. And the reaction is interesting to say the least.

He does share the responsiblity - if I were with a man and he poked holes into a condom package, behind my back, then I watched him open up that condom and the end result was that I either became pregnant - then that would be my fault as well for not having my own birthcontrol backup.

this isn't about men versus women, no matter how you would like to pretend. It's about being responsible about your own body and health.

All of my empathy is reserved for that baby.

 

[rimmy]

*shrug* It's a general rule. He and I have had sex without condoms before, but we got freaked out about pregnancy, so we use them now.

If I could go without the condoms, and know for sure I wouldn't get pregnant, with my partner, would I pass them up? If pregnancy was an ABSOLUTE impossibility? Yeah. I would. We've been together four years. But there's still the chance that he could cheat, and I could catch something. I'd have to deal with that, if it ever happened.

So I guess I'm contradicting there.

But I've never been in a situation where I wasn't ridiculously fertile. So condoms it is.

Like I said, even when we decide to have children, there's that risk, and it'll be somewhere in the back of my head... and if it happens, I'll deal. But I don't believe he'll cheat, and I believe I'll be fine. Until we choose to have kids, he's wearing a rubber.

Do you make him wear a condom for anal?

 

[bisexplicit]

Oh, I think it does have to do with how my cunt feels. Afterall, I am a participant in sex - whenever I have it.

I don't think it's horrible - if it were truly horrible then how does that spunk end up in the end of the condom? I do agree that it does desensitize, never said that it didn't. I only disagreed with the level of horrible-ness implied.

He made his point that he can't maintain an erection with a condom on.

You made your point that you think most men can.


I think you can't feel what he feels - you don't know what its like from his end. Perhaps there really is that little feeling.

 

[JinXed]

He made his point that he can't maintain an erection with a condom on.

You made your point that you think most men can.


I think you can't feel what he feels - you don't know what its like from his end. Perhaps there really is that little feeling.

I don't doubt that he experiences that, since he isn't my lover I cannot judge what happens in his bedroom - now can I?
So, obviously I can only base my thoughts on my own personal experiences, right?

 

[Bohemian Blue]

do you actually bother to read what anyone says here before typing?

She's stated, several times, that she's gotten pregnant while using bc pills - so they now use condoms in conjunction with her own birth control. You made it sound as though she doesn't trust him, because they use two different forms of birth control.

Where the fuck in this thread did she state even ONCE that she had gotten pregnant while using the pill?

 

[JinXed]

Where the fuck in this thread did she state even ONCE that she had gotten pregnant while using the pill?

Page two - you were talking to Lilith about her not trusting her man because she doesn't take the risk.

 

[snojo]

At what point should a man or woman put his life and future into the hands of someone else in a relationship?

For me I would say when we agree to faithful to one another.

From then on I wouldn't question it.

Maybe I'm naieve.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I think you can't feel what he feels - you don't know what its like from his end. Perhaps there really is that little feeling.

He ain't just whistling Dixie.

Condoms become more problematical for me the older I get. Perhaps nature's way of telling me to just fuckin' breed already. Like Rory says, most of the stimulation is now mental. I also don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting off unless I am really slamming and from the back. This used to cause a lot of problems with my ex.."why are you always doing it so hard??".

 

[bisexplicit]

I don't doubt that he experiences that, since he isn't my lover I cannot judge what happens in his bedroom - now can I?
So, obviously I can only base my thoughts on my own personal experiences, right?

True.

But, if someone wants to take their own risks, as long as they are informed of what might happen if they take the risk, then let them go ahead and do it.

I guess I just don't see a point to this argument, as it seems like people aren't gonna budge...

 

[Bohemian Blue]

Page two - you were talking to Lilith about her not trusting her man because she doesn't take the risk.

I didn't see the post. I stand corrected.

 

[bisexplicit]

This used to cause a lot of problems with my ex.."why are you always doing it so hard??".

You should say, " 'cause thats the best way."

 

[rimmy]

He ain't just whistling Dixie.

Condoms become more problematical for me the older I get. Perhaps nature's way of telling me to just fuckin' breed already. Like Rory says, most of the stimulation is now mental. I also don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting off unless I am really slamming and from the back. This used to cause a lot of problems with my ex.."why are you always doing it so hard??".

Exactly. The older I get the less sensitivity i seem to have.


I wonder if all that excessive masturbation when I was younger is to blame as well?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

We weren't talking about her were we. We were talking about his culpability.

He might be responsible for the child, but he's not responsible for creating the child. He didn't intend to, and didn't want to, and believed the odds of it happening were slim. Yet you and others seem to believe he shares and equal amount of responsibility. And zero empathy.

I didn't hear him whining, merely a post by a friend of his. And the reaction is interesting to say the least.

I feel bad that he got played. I do. And I think she's a wench for having tricked him like that. That should be criminal. However, I do agree that each person is responsible for their own protection in this case.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Do you make him wear a condom for anal?

Yes.. because it's unhealthy for a man to have his cock in an ass, due to bacteria.

 

[Bohemian Blue]

He does share the responsiblity - if I were with a man and he poked holes into a condom package, behind my back, then I watched him open up that condom and the end result was that I either became pregnant - then that would be my fault as well for not having my own birthcontrol backup.

this isn't about men versus women, no matter how you would like to pretend. It's about being responsible about your own body and health.

All of my empathy is reserved for that baby.

This isn't about men vs women at all...

But there's a HUGE difference between swallowing a pill and wrapping your sexual organ in plastic.

Especially when that organ recieves it's sensation from ONLY friction as opposed to friction and filling.

 

[JinXed]

I also don't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting off unless I am really slamming and from the back. This used to cause a lot of problems with my ex.."why are you always doing it so hard??".

I hadn't considered that possibility - and it makes sense.
Since it's the way that I prefer to have sex, it may also explain why the condom isn't so much of an issue with people I've been involved with. heh


This whole thread subject is close to me. I have my foster care provider license - and I've seen a lot of kids dumped into the system because people weren't careful. It bothers me that some people treat birthcontrol so casually - leaving their fate, and perhaps even a potential childs fate - up to one being, up to one device.

 

[RoryN]

Oh, I think it does have to do with how my cunt feels. Afterall, I am a participant in sex - whenever I have it.

I'm taking issue with your view on how condoms feel for a man...and you're trying to interject the importance of how it feels for the woman. Unreal.

Of course it's important how it feels to both partners, but that isn't what this discussion is about. It's not about you.

I don't think it's horrible - if it were truly horrible then how does that spunk end up in the end of the condom? I do agree that it does desensitize, never said that it didn't. I only disagreed with the level of horrible-ness implied.

You know nothing about how it feels. Your trying to illustrate a point with the completion of a male orgasm shows you don't know much about that, either. The final release isn't always worth the trip it took to get there.

While married for over 10 years, we spent aproximately half of that condom free. Only 9 months of it birth control free - it was better for both of us. But it was still damned good when he had to slip that condom back on.

Your experiences aren't automatic gospel for the rest of the male race.

I can tell you that, one of the reasons men (especially adolescents) are so conflicted about condom use, is that they perceive this indifference from girls as to their hesitation to wear one. There are many ways to respond other than giving in and not using one: mutual masturbation, other forms of safe/safer sex, and the like. But, "put one on; it's no big deal"?

Attitudes like this don't help to encourage birth control.

 

[bisexplicit]

This isn't about men vs women at all...

But there's a HUGE difference between swallowing a pill and wrapping your sexual organ in plastic.

Especially when that organ recieves it's sensation from ONLY friction as opposed to friction and filling.

Well, you should do what works best for that particular couple. If the guy doesn't have sentivity issues then maybe a condom is better. Especially because, for the girl, there are side effects that are associated with taking the pill.

It really depends - there shouldn't be any rule "this is the type of birth control you must use."