Believe it or not...

[RoryN]

I haven't?

No, you haven't. You haven't worn one on your penis. Once you have, you can presume how big of a deal we guys make out of it.

I've spoken with a lot of male friends over this, and past lovers - and even my ex husband - none of them have ever described the huge loss of sensation that people do here. I can't imagine why they'd lie to me about it either.

Yeah - I have no idea why past lovers would lie to you about not feeling *anything* when you two made love. No clue. <Devil's Advocate>

Anyhow, I'm not lying, and I have male friends who encounter the same problem whenever they wear one. Don't give me this "it's not so bad" brush off; if you're really concerned about birth control, you won't blow off reasons many men hesitate to practice it. You'll consider them.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Honeslty, I hate condoms. Like I said, I don't have sex with people that I have any kind of concern about, so I never use them and rely solely on my birth control. Condoms are awkward and it feels so much better for both parties without them.

*sigh* I hate condoms, too. But they're a necessary evil, I think. I mean... how do you know that your partner is being 100% faithful? How do you know that your body won't take to the birth control that month? How do you know that he doesn't have like, super-sperm?

*shrug*

 

[LeahLo519]

Damn.

I'm really a good girl.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Didn't you read the one about the chick who was performing oral sex on this dude over a period of time - she saved his semen and spit into a jar and then used it to impregnate herself. I believe he still had to pay child support.

I'm a paranoid person when it comes to this reproduction business and though I never heard that story; I've spun out similar scenarios in my own head. That's probably why I like to demand that they stick their tongue out and say "ahhhh" after swallowing.

No, seriously--sex is risk. Just do the best you can to protect yourself from negative outcomes and then accept responsibility for what happens when you go shooting live genes into the fertile body of another human who may well have plans and goals far different from yours. The young man in question got taken; that's for sure. I feel sorry for him; but seed is live ammo. It's dangerous, it can change lives. Fucking is not a joke.

 

[bisexplicit]

Anyhow, I'm not lying, and I have male friends who encounter the same problem whenever they wear one. Don't give me this "it's not so bad" brush off; if you're really concerned about birth control, you won't blow off reasons many men hesitate to practice it. You'll consider them.

My boyfriend is the same way - almost no feeling at all when wearing a condom. But, I made him get tested before we had sex without one.

 

[JinXed]

No, you haven't. You haven't worn one on your penis. One you have, you can presume how big of a deal we guys make out of it.



Yeah - I have no idea why past lovers would lie to you about not feeling *anything* when you two made love. No clue. <Devil's Advocate>

Anyhow, I'm not lying, and I have male friends who encounter the same problem whenever they wear one. Don't give me this "it's not so bad" brush off; if you're really concerned about birth control, you won't blow off reasons many men hesitate to practice it. You'll consider them.

since you obviously don't have a cunt, you don't know how a condomed dick feels in it versus a condom free dick, eh?

Did I mention only lovers, or didn't I mention male friends as well? And I'll ignore the snarky jab since it really doesn't have any relevance to the discussion.

I consider them - but I also consider how I don't care to receive the lovely gift of a disease/std or a child. Oddly enough, any partner that I have ever had has never once hesitated to slip on that condom. The only time it was ever an issue of a loss of feeling was when the condom was two sizes too small for him - understandable.

I think wearing a condom and not having the full sensation is a small price to pay in light of the other possibilities - that should always be the only consideration.

 

[snojo]

Agreed. Pill or no pill, boys, cover that thing up for sure. You never know when a whore dressed in Prada might slip right by you.

What ever happened to trust in a relationship?

Or is it just a thing of the past?

 

[rimmy]

My boyfriend is the same way - almost no feeling at all when wearing a condom. But, I made him get tested before we had sex without one.

So am I. Even the thinnest condom desensitizes me.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

What ever happened to trust in a relationship?

Or is it just a thing of the past?

*shrug* It's a fact of life that someone might be trying to fuck you over.

I trust my partner implicitly. I believe he won't cheat. He's never given me any reason to believe that he would. But the reality is that he *might*. *shrug* Because I trust him, I might have to pay for that trust someday, if he does... to me, it's worth it.. but we've been together four years.

He still has to wear that condom, though.

 

[lizaveta]

What ever happened to trust in a relationship?

Or is it just a thing of the past?

But that's my point - everyone trusts the wrong person sometimes. Obviously this guy did.

 

[rimmy]

What ever happened to trust in a relationship?

Or is it just a thing of the past?

Kids today are a bunch of whores.

 

[Slick]

I am with Jinxed on this one.

He was being as selfish as she by allowing her to fully control his destiny. I say selfish because what else can it be when one decides to let someone else be responsible for them.

He is the one responsible for his mess. He is to blame more than she because he allowed it to happen. What she did was reckless and juvenile - he allowed her to be so by not taking protection seriously enough to be responsible for it.
It would be a different story if she poked holes in the condom.

I agree in part what is being said here, but I think it's unfair to dump so much blame on the lad.

If the tables were tuned, and the only protection they had was him wearing a condom. If he was the one punching holes in them and she fell pregnant, are you saying that the girl is also to blame because she didn't protect herself?

 

[Bohemian Blue]

Women talking about how they can understand what it is to be a man and wear a condom is like a man saying how he can understand childbirth because of a large shit.

And a female using a condom is nothing like a man wearing a condom. You still have an object penetrating, expanding and filling you. Though I'm sure there's a loss of sensation due to not feeling the sliding back and forth.

But it's not the same as having a cock wrapped in plastic and all the pumping gives no sensation at all. The only pleasure is from the pumping of the hips and it's all mental. Some of us men NEED to have the feeling of the sliding back and forth in our cocks.

Otherwise I might as well jerk off. Which I do. And often.

 

[capricious_chic]

What ever happened to trust in a relationship?

Or is it just a thing of the past?

At what point should a man or woman put his life and future into the hands of someone else in a relationship?

 

[Ishmael]

That's the thing, my friend would never abandon them. He is going to stay with her and try to work it out for the sake of the kid. He's also going to be paying for everything through the pregnancy while she sits on her ass....makes me fucking sick.

If he hasn't already, have him get a DNA test. There's more than one way to "seal a deal."

Ishmael

 

[JinXed]

I agree in part what is being said here, but I think it's unfair to dump so much blame on the lad.

If the tables were tuned, and the only protection they had was him wearing a condom. If he was the one punching holes in them and she fell pregnant, are you saying that the girl is also to blame because she didn't protect herself?

Why wouldn't she be?
It's up to ourselves to ensure that we protect ourselves as much as possible. Sometimes accidents do happen, despite what precautions are taken.

 

[Bohemian Blue]

*shrug* It's a fact of life that someone might be trying to fuck you over.

I trust my partner implicitly. I believe he won't cheat. He's never given me any reason to believe that he would. But the reality is that he *might*. *shrug* Because I trust him, I might have to pay for that trust someday, if he does... to me, it's worth it.. but we've been together four years.

He still has to wear that condom, though.

If you're not taking a risk...you're not trusting him.

To me, that's what trust is. Not just saying you believe in someone.....but believing in someone.

 

[JinXed]

If you're not taking a risk...you're not trusting him.

To me, that's what trust is. Not just saying you believe in someone.....but believing in someone.

So, because Lilith may not want to get pregnant at this stage in her life, she doesn't trust him?

Uh - yeah.

 

[Bohemian Blue]

Why wouldn't she be?
It's up to ourselves to ensure that we protect ourselves as much as possible. Sometimes accidents do happen, despite what precautions are taken.

We're not talking about an accident though. It's not like she DID take the pill and accidently got pregnant.

 

[bisexplicit]

If the tables were tuned, and the only protection they had was him wearing a condom. If he was the one punching holes in them and she fell pregnant, are you saying that the girl is also to blame because she didn't protect herself?

*thinks thats an interesting point and wants to call attention to it*

 

[Bohemian Blue]

So, because Lilith may not want to get pregnant at this stage in her life, she doesn't trust him?

Uh - yeah.

The odds of a woman getting pregnant with the man wearing a condom and the odds of her getting pregnant while on the pill are about the same.

And if she's having sex, yes she's STILL taking a chance that both could fail and she'd get pregnant. So she IS willing to take SOME chance she'd get pregnant.

 

[JinXed]

We're not talking about an accident though. It's not like she DID take the pill and accidently got pregnant.

I never implied it was an accident in that particular case, I was saying that it does happen.
If she admitted that she took the placebo's then it's obviously wasn't a mistake on her part. Duh.

 

[RoryN]

since you obviously don't have a cunt, you don't know how a condomed dick feels in it versus a condom free dick, eh?

Of course not. But this isn't about how your cunt feels. At all.

but I also consider how I don't care to receive the lovely gift of a disease/std or a child. Oddly enough, any partner that I have ever had has never once hesitated to slip on that condom.

None of this counters anything I've said. I'm not anti-birth control in the form of a condom; I'm anti-you making this ridiculous statement about it not being "horrible", and how there's only a partial loss of sensation when you've never worn one on your dick (since you have none) - trying to downplay the issue in order to illustrate that, if a man were to refuse, he does so for petty reasons. That's not always true.

The prospect of putting one on makes me go limp. She then infers that I don't turn her on. I shouldn't have to draw a line from Point A to Point B here to illustrate what a big problem that is, not to mention that men complain all the time about this issue.

 

[capricious_chic]

I agree in part what is being said here, but I think it's unfair to dump so much blame on the lad.

If the tables were tuned, and the only protection they had was him wearing a condom. If he was the one punching holes in them and she fell pregnant, are you saying that the girl is also to blame because she didn't protect herself?

Actually, I would.

I think that in the end we have to be responsible for ourselves and the decisions that we make. When two people are having sex then two people are equally responsible for birth control. He should do his part and she should do hers. Either one failing to take responsibility is allowing the other to control of what happens.

Sex spur of the moment is great fun but seriously irresponsible. If both parties can not be equally responsible then they should wait until both can.

I know in the real world that doesn't always happen and we want to trust those around us - but that is the bottom line truth as I see it.

 

[Recidiva]

I gotta jump on the "not without someone I love!" bandwagon.

So that makes a limited number of partners in a lifetime. I know the obvious question is - "Well, if you haven't tried it, you don't know, do you?" But I just have a huge aversion to the whole deal. Not good exciting scary, just terrifying run away scary.

I've found that even if I ever tried to cyber online to get a more realistic attitude about the whole thing, with someone I didn't love, I got this huge awful feeling. It felt like like something I once had was missing, not the feeling that I get with someone that I love, that I'd gained something, become more.

I'm sorry to the guys I rebooted on, that was rude, but I just couldn't. I meant to, but I just couldn't. Really, I'm sorry. I'm a wuss.

Then again I probably rebooted most often on the guy I finally married. Ironic, huh? He scared me, still does. He says I ran away until I caught him.