Being autistic and random stuff

[Strixaluco]

Other than that, these youtubers have AuDHD:
Autism from the inside
Auticate with Chris and Debby
Orion, the autistic guy
Mom on the spectrum

All past 30. Some past 40 (mom is not I think, and not sure about Chris).

 

[stickygirl]

Well wow... trying to explain autism to NTs. Maybe it's me who's dumb, but I object when people describe their autism as their superpower. I speak up. Can't help it. I spoke up on social media and then got lectured about how 'You know, autism is a spectrum so not everyone is the same, that's what a spectrum means, so it's okay for some people to have a superpower?' and I thought, I'm being gaslit here!
I didn't take it too far and simply suggested they could do some more reading and that I was autistic, but that didn't make me an expert either... But it upset me.
But maybe I am wrong? Maybe it is okay to call your autism a superpower: well done, good for you! For most autistic people, it sucks. What do you think?

 

[Strixaluco]

Well wow... trying to explain autism to NTs. Maybe it's me who's dumb, but I object when people describe their autism as their superpower. I speak up. Can't help it. I spoke up on social media and then got lectured about how 'You know, autism is a spectrum so not everyone is the same, that's what a spectrum means, so it's okay for some people to have a superpower?' and I thought, I'm being gaslit here!
I didn't take it too far and simply suggested they could do some more reading and that I was autistic, but that didn't make me an expert either... But it upset me.
But maybe I am wrong? Maybe it is okay to call your autism a superpower: well done, good for you! For most autistic people, it sucks. What do you think?

Our experiences can vary so wildly. Yes, being autistic in this society is a challenge. But also my strengths come from being autistic and not neurotypical. Like, a long list of strengths.

And it's not just about what traits we're born with. It's also about how we happened to be raised etc. With similar traits one happens to have a good family, gets to utilise their strengths and learns to deal with the weak points, and another gets none of that but trauma triggers all the challenges.

 

[PMarky2]

I've found ASD+ADHD to be a mixed blessing. I think there is a certain amount of ND kicking around in my family, I was better than average at school, so I did not get noticed as being anything other than a bit awkward as a teenager. I alternate between intense concentration, which helps with my work, and "oh-look-a-squirrel!" or "whoa - shiny stuff!" pretty much on a whim. However, I have unwittingly accommodated the condition over the years by never working a 9 to 5 job except for two months as a college student, which is when I discovered I could not do it. Personal relationships are always a bit fraught because of my need for stability.

All that, and a bunch more taken for granted, I would never call ASD or ADHD a 'superpower.' However, you can work some aspects of the condition to your advantage. I have a prodigious long term memory and quick recall, which can prove very useful when lecturing or writing, but my short term memory is shit.

Oh well!

 

[Strixaluco]

For me it's been a lot...
- Curiosity. Which in part lead to being best in class until I chose a special high school and got classmates who had all been best in class. Average people didn't get in there.
- Pattern recognition skills!!!!! They help me SO much in everything.
- Sensory sensitivities make me musical and help me with languages and in arts, too (not really that creative but I'm pretty ok when having a model i front of me). Oh and in social dancing.
- Quick thinking. (When not in acute crisis.)
- Thinking from bottom up and seeing unusual connections, too. Together with pattern recognition skills this basically made my master's thesis, and learning several new jobs. I think in many dimensions, figuratively speaking (not literally, because I have some level of aphantasia.)
- Sensitivities have also helped me fill gaps in social skills. Far from perfect, but decent.

There are times when I feel that I'd do fine without physical things that came with autism, which among other thing worsen my adhd traits and also trigger autism issues because they drain me and scrap my stress handling. Unfortunately many of those are connected to the same genes. My dad has less of them... He made a fine career based on his autistic traits. But it also depends on how society changes.

Einstein was probably autistic, and I think you could really say it was his superpower. His way of ND thinking was really what made him special and why we know him. He needed someone to take care of his household though.

 

[Strixaluco]

I just...learned that I actually tick one more box in the diagnostic checklist for hEDS. Like, meaning enough for diagnosis (except I'm not sure they use the same checklist in Finland. Could be different)

I thought I was only having HSD... Not that it's really different in practise, but they might not even diagnose it officially here - as in, if the doctor is even aware of HSD being a thing except just being hypermobile.

It's not a shock exactly. I've been considering it before, and basically group HSD and hEDS together anyway. More like just... I thought it's not even worth seeking for diagnosis, and now I need to rethink my idea.

And for those who don't know, comorbodity rate between autism and hEDS/HSD is very high. There are theories that they could share common genes, both having several, or maybe even hEDS/HSD outright causing autism, as they affect the connective tissue, even within nerves and brain. So one reason why autistic people have all kinds of physical health issues, as hEDS/HSD cause many, and also come with a bunch of other comorbidities. It's like "collect all".

 

[aronayaxx]

This is helpful, thank you. My first forum post. I've had quite a healing journey, the most recent aspect being the discovery at an advanced age that I fit a lot, but not all, of the common behaviors and symptoms on the autism spectrum. This ties in deeply with my missing of so many (sooo many - but not all, thankfully) chances to be intimate.

Some of the stories I've read on here make me think this site might offer strong healing; a way to dip my toes back in, at my own pace, after decades of traumatic confusion and isolation. In combination with other holistic approaches in the "real" world.

I really appreciate all your thoughts here, thank you again!

 

[PMarky2]

This is helpful, thank you. My first forum post. I've had quite a healing journey, the most recent aspect being the discovery at an advanced age that I fit a lot, but not all, of the common behaviors and symptoms on the autism spectrum. This ties in deeply with my missing of so many (sooo many - but not all, thankfully) chances to be intimate.

Some of the stories I've read on here make me think this site might offer strong healing; a way to dip my toes back in, at my own pace, after decades of traumatic confusion and isolation. In combination with other holistic approaches in the "real" world.

I really appreciate all your thoughts here, thank you again!

Discovering I was ASD and ADHD at 56 was a bit of a surprise. I had suspected mild ASD for several years thanks to an emotional entanglement with a younger ASD woman I know who came to be honorary daughter/niece, and a potent reminder of the dreams I had with the woman I should have married. The inattentive ADHD was a bit of a surprise, but explains the 'goldfish' side of my memory - especially with anything verbal. However, the diagnosis explains many both my gifts and limitations.

Usually the two sort of play off one another and keep my functional, but when the stresses and strains in my life get too much I begin to shut down, and there is a risk of the good-old Autist meltdown. I had one earlier this week. Already pushed with my wife's health issues, pre-term prep, and upcoming church meetings, the school that leases the old education building left a bunch of junk in the hall I needed for a meeting tonight. It is not their space to use anyway, so I blew, and the school Admin person was duly unloaded on. However, that cleared the air after months of minor frustration. Result: I am much calmer today, but I am hugely tired and my social battery is very drained, and I have tomorrow and Sunday to go. Urgh!

Time for bed, and hopefully 7 to 8 hours sleep before tomorrow's marathon.

 

[stickygirl]

 

[PMarky2]

After seven hours of socializing/meetings on Friday, and the same on both Saturday and Sunday, my social battery is absolute toast, and I am exhausted! I am trying not to be annoyed by random noise, etc., and it is an uphill struggle.

 

[Strixaluco]

I have my AuDHD nephew coming later today, staying until mom's 80th birthday on Saturday. It's gonna be intense...

Thank goodness I can send him going around museums on Friday alone. Tomorrow I have promised to be his guide to the city history, meaning I'll probably walk more than what I really have energy for, ending up crashing ln Friday.

Because... It seems I actually have ME/CFS. Hadn't thought my symptoms fit it, but I was told otherwise last week - I clearly do have the characteristic PEM symptom. Great fun. It means I only know afterwards that I crossed the limit.

It seems that autistic people are nore at risk for that, too. Probably our system goes haywire more easily. Just... I wouldn't want to collect the whole series.

 

[Maturelickr]

I have my AuDHD nephew coming later today, staying until mom's 80th birthday on Saturday. It's gonna be intense...

Thank goodness I can send him going around museums on Friday alone. Tomorrow I have promised to be his guide to the city history, meaning I'll probably walk more than what I really have energy for, ending up crashing ln Friday.

Because... It seems I actually have ME/CFS. Hadn't thought my symptoms fit it, but I was told otherwise last week - I clearly do have the characteristic PEM symptom. Great fun. It means I only know afterwards that I crossed the limit.

It seems that autistic people are nore at risk for that, too. Probably our system goes haywire more easily. Just... I wouldn't want to collect the whole series.

Do you have a POTS diagnosis?

 

[Strixaluco]

Do you have a POTS diagnosis?

No. It's not something they suspect easily unless you know to complain very specific symptoms. I've had EKG taken many times, but that doesn't reveal POTS or other forms of dysautonomia.

 

[Strixaluco]

Basically non of these "vague" issues (systemic more than specific) are found and diagnosed if they are mild. Even if they are serious, it may take many years to get them diagnosed correctly.

 

[stickygirl]

No Problemo

I figured this out a few years back, by pretending I was someone competent, but with the same name. That way I can respond to most enquiries, until they say something unexpected, like 'You have a nice voice' or 'where did you go on holiday?' because those comments are outside work parameters and are they flirting with me or genuinely interested where I went on holiday?

 

[stickygirl]

Relatable?

 

[PMarky2]

View attachment 2559987
No Problemo

I figured this out a few years back, by pretending I was someone competent, but with the same name. That way I can respond to most enquiries, until they say something unexpected, like 'You have a nice voice' or 'where did you go on holiday?' because those comments are outside work parameters and are they flirting with me or genuinely interested where I went on holiday?

I feel 'seen' too. Just move everything about two hours earlier. I have a love-hate relationship with the phone. If it is someone I know/like, or who proves to be interesting, I can camp out on there for ages. However, I start from the position 'this is not going to be fun.'

 

[Strixaluco]

I feel 'seen' too.

The phenomena of being perceived?

 

[PMarky2]

The phenomena of being perceived?

That - and the whole phone thing. Several hours working up to it; time on phone; recovery time.

 

[stickygirl]

Relatable?
Making sure you rotate the use of mugs in your cupboard so that none of them feel left out

I'll admit I have two mugs with writing on that I don't use but sometimes serve to visitors. All my mugs are the same design and blue, but because they are from a seconds outlet, they each have slightly different handle shapes.

 

[Statius]

I rotate everything. I have 3 glass mugs I rotate for my OJ in the morning. All identical. I even put them away after washing to keep them in order. So yeah, feel ya on that.

Relatable?
Making sure you rotate the use of mugs in your cupboard so that none of them feel left out

I'll admit I have two mugs with writing on that I don't use but sometimes serve to visitors. All my mugs are the same design and blue, but because they are from a seconds outlet, they each have slightly different handle shapes.

 

[PMarky2]

I'm on the opposite pole. I have one mug that I use for tea, another for coffee, and my water glass remains the same one for weeks, though it gets washed up regularly. If I have to use a different mug I get disconbobulated.

 

[Statius]

I'm on the opposite pole. I have one mug that I use for tea, another for coffee, and my water glass remains the same one for weeks, though it gets washed up regularly. If I have to use a different mug I get disconbobulated.

My OJ mugs are only OJ mugs. Nothing else goes in those.

 

[stickygirl]

It's such a healthy thing to laugh at our little idiosyncrasies and realise we are not alone

 

[Statius]

It's such a healthy thing to laugh at our little idiosyncrasies and realise we are not alone

Absolutely. ADHD/OCD. A pain, but unique and sometimes comical. . Not gonna lie, can be a pain and extremely inconvenient, but still sometimes funny