Being autistic and random stuff

[Strixaluco]

I am finding it very difficult to find information on ASD+ADHD that is directed towards adults. Kids and teens - tons of stuff, but for apprentice old farts in their 50s, there seems to be a whole lot of nothing. Probably looking in the wrong place. Even had a look at groups on Facebook but they all seem to be disaster areas being either heavily policed by heavy handed admins who would have been happy working for the Gestapo, or only interested in folks who are their sort of ASD. Left the last group/page I was trying on F/B this morning as it seemed to have an in-crowd who seemed to be allowed to post the fact they had been number two, and the rest of us who could not get anything posted.

I'm still trying to get it right with my BAF. We are talking to one another, but she is still distant, and this is intermittently putting me through the emotional wringer. My read is that she is not yet ready to full reconnect after the mess in the spring. Thing is what do I do next? Disconnect again for a while, and try again in the Fall? Give-up? Keep going? IDK. I also know I am overthinking this as a distraction from what I impolitely call 'work shit.' I am constantly amazed by how many intelligent people have very little commonsense.

If you are interested in an autism Discord group that has people between 18 and 50 (majority under 30,but we do have a bunch of middle-aged people) , and where more than half the people have adhd and not just autism, I can send you a link. No policing there, the guy who started it was only suspecting autism back then.

Except it's moderated in the nice and necessary way. Spam bots and trolls trigger some firm moderating action, other issues are dealt in a discussing and guiding way if possible.

 

[Strixaluco]

Other than that, these youtubers have AuDHD:
Autism from the inside
Auticate with Chris and Debby
Orion, the autistic guy
Mom on the spectrum

All past 30. Some past 40 (mom is not I think, and not sure about Chris).

 

[stickygirl]

Well wow... trying to explain autism to NTs. Maybe it's me who's dumb, but I object when people describe their autism as their superpower. I speak up. Can't help it. I spoke up on social media and then got lectured about how 'You know, autism is a spectrum so not everyone is the same, that's what a spectrum means, so it's okay for some people to have a superpower?' and I thought, I'm being gaslit here!
I didn't take it too far and simply suggested they could do some more reading and that I was autistic, but that didn't make me an expert either... But it upset me.
But maybe I am wrong? Maybe it is okay to call your autism a superpower: well done, good for you! For most autistic people, it sucks. What do you think?

 

[Strixaluco]

Well wow... trying to explain autism to NTs. Maybe it's me who's dumb, but I object when people describe their autism as their superpower. I speak up. Can't help it. I spoke up on social media and then got lectured about how 'You know, autism is a spectrum so not everyone is the same, that's what a spectrum means, so it's okay for some people to have a superpower?' and I thought, I'm being gaslit here!
I didn't take it too far and simply suggested they could do some more reading and that I was autistic, but that didn't make me an expert either... But it upset me.
But maybe I am wrong? Maybe it is okay to call your autism a superpower: well done, good for you! For most autistic people, it sucks. What do you think?

Our experiences can vary so wildly. Yes, being autistic in this society is a challenge. But also my strengths come from being autistic and not neurotypical. Like, a long list of strengths.

And it's not just about what traits we're born with. It's also about how we happened to be raised etc. With similar traits one happens to have a good family, gets to utilise their strengths and learns to deal with the weak points, and another gets none of that but trauma triggers all the challenges.

 

[PMarky2]

I've found ASD+ADHD to be a mixed blessing. I think there is a certain amount of ND kicking around in my family, I was better than average at school, so I did not get noticed as being anything other than a bit awkward as a teenager. I alternate between intense concentration, which helps with my work, and "oh-look-a-squirrel!" or "whoa - shiny stuff!" pretty much on a whim. However, I have unwittingly accommodated the condition over the years by never working a 9 to 5 job except for two months as a college student, which is when I discovered I could not do it. Personal relationships are always a bit fraught because of my need for stability.

All that, and a bunch more taken for granted, I would never call ASD or ADHD a 'superpower.' However, you can work some aspects of the condition to your advantage. I have a prodigious long term memory and quick recall, which can prove very useful when lecturing or writing, but my short term memory is shit.

Oh well!

 

[Strixaluco]

For me it's been a lot...
- Curiosity. Which in part lead to being best in class until I chose a special high school and got classmates who had all been best in class. Average people didn't get in there.
- Pattern recognition skills!!!!! They help me SO much in everything.
- Sensory sensitivities make me musical and help me with languages and in arts, too (not really that creative but I'm pretty ok when having a model i front of me). Oh and in social dancing.
- Quick thinking. (When not in acute crisis.)
- Thinking from bottom up and seeing unusual connections, too. Together with pattern recognition skills this basically made my master's thesis, and learning several new jobs. I think in many dimensions, figuratively speaking (not literally, because I have some level of aphantasia.)
- Sensitivities have also helped me fill gaps in social skills. Far from perfect, but decent.

There are times when I feel that I'd do fine without physical things that came with autism, which among other thing worsen my adhd traits and also trigger autism issues because they drain me and scrap my stress handling. Unfortunately many of those are connected to the same genes. My dad has less of them... He made a fine career based on his autistic traits. But it also depends on how society changes.

Einstein was probably autistic, and I think you could really say it was his superpower. His way of ND thinking was really what made him special and why we know him. He needed someone to take care of his household though.