Being autistic, adhd and random stuff

[PMarky2]

I suspect they are inseparable in exhausting you.

I hope it calms down and you'll be able to rest

Thank you!

One thing I have learnt is that what obtains one day might not carry over to the next, so I have a "hears to tomorrow" attitude when it comes to these episodes. At least I have been spared the horny AF element that often goes with them. A lot of the stress comes from just too many little things disrupting the routine. I also have to remember not to put my foot in it by forgetting our wedding anniversary. I doing fine at remembering now, will it still be there come Thursday?

One stupid thing that has become a major stress is ordering a door from Lowe's, which should have come in last Thursday, but it did not. When it does arrive I have to find my buddy with the pickup truck and hope he or I do not have a crazy day booked. I also have a few decisions to make which includes a work situation where someone should be discipled, but I am not sure that they will be. If they are not at least hauled to the carpet, if not over the coals, I am going to think that yet another massive injustice has been done, and that will cause problems.

 

[stickygirl]

A link I found elsewhere on Lit regarding Tylenol and autism dismissing any correlation between the two. It's a umbrella study of all the other studies, ranking their validity from high to critically low. Most of the other conclusions were rated as low or below.

There are a few comments, for and against but one caught my eye "But hopefully more carefully designed studies will get to the bottom of this because autism rates have grown dramatically and it's probably not just because it's recognized better now than it was."
I think 'the bottom of this' has already been explored if you're prepared to look for the evidence and willing to remain open-minded.

Linked quote why autism diagnoses are on the rise:
"In places that have been tracking this data over decades, there has been a steady rise in autism diagnoses since the mid-20th Century. Based on health and education records, from 2000 to 2022, autism prevalence in the US increased from 1-in-150 to 1-in-31. Prevalence has also grown in Australia, Taiwan, and other countries.

"That can look alarming to people who don't know [the context of the statistics]", says Zoe Gross, the director of advocacy at the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), a US nonprofit run by autistic people. It's not necessarily that autism cases are increasing, Gross emphasises: rather, diagnoses are on the rise."

If Trump and Kennedy want to reduce rates, they only need to carry on with cutting funding to science and health-care.

 

[Strixaluco]

A link I found elsewhere on Lit regarding Tylenol and autism dismissing any correlation between the two. It's a umbrella study of all the other studies, ranking their validity from high to critically low. Most of the other conclusions were rated as low or below.

There are a few comments, for and against but one caught my eye "But hopefully more carefully designed studies will get to the bottom of this because autism rates have grown dramatically and it's probably not just because it's recognized better now than it was."
I think 'the bottom of this' has already been explored if you're prepared to look for the evidence and willing to remain open-minded.

Linked quote why autism diagnoses are on the rise:
"In places that have been tracking this data over decades, there has been a steady rise in autism diagnoses since the mid-20th Century. Based on health and education records, from 2000 to 2022, autism prevalence in the US increased from 1-in-150 to 1-in-31. Prevalence has also grown in Australia, Taiwan, and other countries.

"That can look alarming to people who don't know [the context of the statistics]", says Zoe Gross, the director of advocacy at the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), a US nonprofit run by autistic people. It's not necessarily that autism cases are increasing, Gross emphasises: rather, diagnoses are on the rise."

If Trump and Kennedy want to reduce rates, they only need to carry on with cutting funding to science and health-care.

You can't really educate people who don't want to believe science.

 

[stickygirl]

Just watched a YT from Mom on the Spectrum about alcohol and autism. She also revealed that she'd had a hysterectomy just a month ago Anyhow she discusses the ways that alcohol might impact your life.

I was really interested, because I'm writing about an alcoholic... and another person who is autistic... and because I drink too, though don't I regard it as a dependency.

I love watching her videos - I find her manner very calming/comforting.

 

[PMarky2]

Just watched a YT from Mom on the Spectrum about alcohol and autism. She also revealed that she'd had a hysterectomy just a month ago Anyhow she discusses the ways that alcohol might impact your life.

I was really interested, because I'm writing about an alcoholic... and another person who is autistic... and because I drink too, though don't I regard it as a dependency.

I love watching her videos - I find her manner very calming/comforting.

I'll have a look at the YT later, but I know that alcohol is my personal 'canary in the coal mine' - when I start drinking heavily I am at the end of my rope and anxiety is taking over. It is the signal that I must withdraw, take some down time, and be around the folks I find comforting. When I am unstressed and relaxed, I am indifferent to alcohol. I just wish much more of my life was less stressed.

 

[Strixaluco]

For me, one of the first signs of having too much is me getting irritated. My irritation threshold gets lower and lower - or it seems to, as there's so much already, that I don't need much to cross it.

I especially start getting hostile towards any demand on my time and energy. My phone ringing may be enough.

 

[OralAllOver]

Sticky, thanks for such clear, impactful thoughts. I admire your openness, tone and resolve

And I'm learning, Thanx for that 2

Ya know, they are any number of folks with intrusive, unproductive thoughts/guilt re sex. No one in that boat is remotely alone.

Hang in there! We all need each other

 

[PMarky2]

For me, one of the first signs of having too much is me getting irritated. My irritation threshold gets lower and lower - or it seems to, as there's so much already, that I don't need much to cross it.

I especially start getting hostile towards any demand on my time and energy. My phone ringing may be enough.

The first sign for me that I am getting overwhelmed is a very weak or dead 'social battery.' This is unfortunate because I tend to ignore it as a warning because I tell myself I am simply tired. I mentally often give people a SBI - social battery index - number. The folks I can be pretty much unmasked around get a '0' or a '1,' I can pretty much spend a day with them and not get peopled out. Then it gets gradually higher up to '9' which are the folks have to mask heavily around and are so NT they are exhausting, and I last about 20 minutes with them even on a good day. My wife tends to be a 2 or a 4 depending on how she is feeling, so I disappear for a while most afternoons to regroup.

I am usually irritable when overstimulated, or busier than a one armed paper-hanger, so if I am tired, trying to work, the radio is on, the wife listening to reel on her tablets without earphones, then the phone goes, I am almost certain to loose it. People trying to force change on me gets another thing that gets to me in short order. Oh, and for goodness sake, please do not wander into the kitchen at 'a critical moment' because I am likely to be completely uninterested in what you have to say because I am trying to avoid lumps in the sauce, or something.

I try not to be disagreeable, but sometimes there is enough going on in my head to keep me fully occupied without anyone else putting in an appearance!

 

[Strixaluco]

The first sign for me that I am getting overwhelmed is a very weak or dead 'social battery.' This is unfortunate because I tend to ignore it as a warning because I tell myself I am simply tired.

But being tired counts?

 

[stickygirl]

The first sign for me that I am getting overwhelmed is a very weak or dead 'social battery.' This is unfortunate because I tend to ignore it as a warning because I tell myself I am simply tired. I mentally often give people a SBI - social battery index - number. The folks I can be pretty much unmasked around get a '0' or a '1,' I can pretty much spend a day with them and not get peopled out. Then it gets gradually higher up to '9' which are the folks have to mask heavily around and are so NT they are exhausting, and I last about 20 minutes with them even on a good day. My wife tends to be a 2 or a 4 depending on how she is feeling, so I disappear for a while most afternoons to regroup.

I am usually irritable when overstimulated, or busier than a one armed paper-hanger, so if I am tired, trying to work, the radio is on, the wife listening to reel on her tablets without earphones, then the phone goes, I am almost certain to loose it. People trying to force change on me gets another thing that gets to me in short order. Oh, and for goodness sake, please do not wander into the kitchen at 'a critical moment' because I am likely to be completely uninterested in what you have to say because I am trying to avoid lumps in the sauce, or something.

I try not to be disagreeable, but sometimes there is enough going on in my head to keep me fully occupied without anyone else putting in an appearance!

I understand what you're saying - we have no stressor-gauge to tell us what's going on internally. Like a frog in a kettle we don't notice the rising temperature until we're baked.

You've just reminded me, unfortunately of an incident before I knew I was ND. I was living with someone who was at college an hour's drive away so when I got home, I could never be sure if she was there. One particularly stressful day I got home and she popped her head round the corner to say 'hello' and I said out loud "Oh you're here"... I might as well have spat at her.
Of course, looking back I know I needed to have set a boundary, that I needed 30mins to decompress to put the spring back into my step. The guilt is fresh in my stomach now, writing this. No surprise the relationship didn't last.

Alcohol is just another unknown thrown into the machinery and can hinder or help how we navigate a social setting. These day I avoid getting drunk ( the penalties are looking an idiot, ones safety and the hang-over ) but I enjoy a glass of something as I cook.

 

[PMarky2]

But being tired counts?

Being tired does not count, as between 'the twins' - ASD and ADHD - I am usually somewhere between tired, knackered, and absolutely knackered, so I tend to ignore being tired and push on. I usually end up paying for this later.

I am currently in a state of high annoyance as I have a monthly early Saturday breakfast meeting, which royally screws up my sleep pattern. I usually sleep from 1:00am to about 7:30am, but this puppy requires me to be up an hour early. We did not get to bed until 1am because 'Herself' fell asleep after dinner. I woke up at 4:45am and could not get back to sleep. I have had about 3.5 hours sleep, so I really do not want to be around people, especially as a couple in this group have high SBIs. Today will be probably OK, but tomorrow I'll be dead on my feet, and it will be Tuesday before my sleep pattern returns to normal.

 

[Strixaluco]

I tend to ignore being tired and push on. I usually end up paying for this later.

Been there done that, being chronically exhausted. I've been forced to learn that pushing on keeps the worse level of exhaustion rolling. The amount of rest I need is surprising.

 

[PMarky2]

Been there done that, being chronically exhausted. I've been forced to learn that pushing on keeps the worse level of exhaustion rolling. The amount of rest I need is surprising.

Yesterday was better than I was expecting because the group was smaller than usual, and the one guy who can be one big-ass energy drain was fairly subdued, so I could go into 'battery saver mode' and still seem fairly sociable.

I need a lot of recovery time after random socializing. Being with one or two folks I really like does not tire me except, as they tend to be "spectrum-y" too, we eventually need a break. We can happily spend most of a day together proved there is an agreed quiet period. Any sort of "omnium gatherum" is a huge strain, and I will need at least 24 and probably 36 hours of down time to recover, even if it has only been an hour or so. If there are the energy vampires in the mix, that is a whole other topic.

As for amount of rest required, I usually need 7 hours in bed at night but I'll be lucky to sleep six hours. I also need some sort of nap in an afternoon. When my wife was in rehab after an accident couple of years ago I started split sleeping - going to bed about 10pm, sleeping until about 3am, reading for a bit then going back to sleep about 4:30am and getting up about 7am, and I was a lot more focused. I like to spend the first couple of hours of the morning alone, as that allows me to get things done while I can still focus, and usually a good part of the afternoon. After being out yesterday and today I will probably have a 'Garbo' on tomorrow.

 

[Strixaluco]

For rest, 8h sleep needed (it's seldom good quality though, but not all rest should ever be asleep. For anyone. There should be rest during the day as well.

I need more than healthy people, though. Today my partner left after 5pm and the evening has been all rest for me. Not even knitting. An active day -> the next day I may need resting. Sometimes 2 days. For me, working full time means I cannot get enough rest - not even if sacrificing all other life, just keeping myself alive and working.

 

[stickygirl]

I allow myself 20minute naps, especially after I get back from work. Then I need 8 hrs if possible

 

[Strixaluco]

When I've been working, min 1h rest (whether sleeping at all or not) has been minimum before I can really continue with anything.

 

[stickygirl]

Hot on the feet of the infamous Cass review in the UK, that claimed specialists were misdiagnosing and over-prescribing for trans youth, the government is pushing its ignorant nose into ADHD and autism. They claim that ADHD is over-diagnosed, when stats show barely 0.34% of the population has a formal diagnosis. Average wait times for that formal diagnosis is apparently 8 years. Anyone, apart from politicians looking to cut budgets and old blokes complaining to each other down the pub, knows that the problem lies in the underfunding of services.
Informed article from Huff Post

 

[PMarky2]

When I've been working, min 1h rest (whether sleeping at all or not) has been minimum before I can really continue with anything.

I usually work mornings, and into the early afternoon - say, 7:30am to about 1pm, take a rest, and then have another couple of hours at it 4pm to 6pm or in the evening. However, as I do not hang around the water cooler, gossip, or take smoke breaks, I tend to get a lot done in a short working day. Having a career where I am not tied to 9 to 5 and have a lot of flexibility about hours helps me to thrive. The down side are the social demands that the job makes - that can really exhaust me.