Behind The Window- Taylor’s Story

[TaricJon]

Hello,

Posted my first story in a very very long time. The main character in this one is a trans female named Taylor. She’s someone I may want to explore further. Please give it a read if you have interest.

https://www.literotica.com/s/behind-the-window-taylors-story

Thanks,
JT

 

[annabellebrito]

I enjoyed it and left you a small comment on the website.

Nice surprise story.

 

[yukonnights]

Hello,

Posted my first story in a very very long time. The main character in this one is a trans female named Taylor. She’s someone I may want to explore further. Please give it a read if you have interest.

https://www.literotica.com/s/behind-the-window-taylors-story

Thanks,
JT

In general, the story is well written. The plot and content is interesting.

However, I think the story would have had much more of a punch in a first person POV. I'll do a small example below so you can see what I mean.

Original:
Taylor wasn't sure what Emma was seeing, but she fixed on her eyes anyway as her palm stroked her saliva lubed clit until the spasms of orgasm washed over her body. Her butt pulsed against the invading finger, and she felt a few small bits of sticky fluid shoot into her hand. She was shaking and her other hand came out from under her shirt to support herself on the countertop.

Immediately after, breath still shallow, Taylor was embarrassed. Outside, Emma was still looking straight into the window, and she was smiling. Fuck, had Emma seen her? What had been intensely arousing a minute ago, now humiliated Taylor. She was some kind of creepy voyeur.


First person:
I wasn't sure what Emma was seeing, but I fixed on her eyes anyway as her palm stroked her saliva lubed clit until the spasms of orgasm washed over her body. My butt pulsed against the invading finger, and I felt a few small bits of sticky fluid shoot into my hand. I was shaking and my other hand came out from under my shirt to support myself on the countertop.

Immediately after, breath still shallow, I was embarrassed. Outside, Emma was still looking straight into the window, and she was smiling. Fuck, had Emma seen me? What had been intensely arousing a minute ago, now humiliated me. I was some kind of creepy voyeur.
***
As I said, you have a good story plot and I think you could keep writing a bunch of continuing stories of this group of characters. Hope this is of some help.

 

[Bangerb]

Very nice story with potential for additional parts.
I agree with the above post, first person POV would give it better dynamic.
Please keep writing.

 

[TaricJon]

Thank you both. I shall consider first person POV next time.