Becoming more Dominate with my wife

[drock28]

Hell all, so here's the thing, I am dominant, my wife is becoming more comfortable with being my submissive, and we are progressing slowly, it's me who is actually less comfortable. In the past when with partners who allowed me to be more of my dominant nature, I easily took on the role, my natural instinct came out and had so much fun with it. Now with my wife I find it rather hard to disconnect my feelings, of simply adoring her and wanting to be so gentle as not to make her uncomfortable that I don't open up and allow myself to own her like she needs at times. We are only dom/sub in the bedroom. I do have a little something planned for Sat. Night which hopefully will allow me to enjoy controlling her. Not that I don't now, but what I have in mind I'm eagerly anticipating already and plan to use this as an opportunity to be instinctual rather than loving. I should mention she is preggers and that may have something to do with it. My question has anyone else dealt with these feelings? And any friendly advice is welcome.

 

[Netzach]

Hell all, so here's the thing, I am dominate, my wife is becoming more comfortable with being my submissive, and we are progressing slowly, it's me who is actually less comfortable. In the past when with partners who allowed me to be more of my dominate nature, I easily took on the role, my natural instinct came out and had so much fun with it. Now with my wife I find it rather hard to disconnect my feelings, of simply adoring her and wanting to be so gentle as not to make her uncomfortable that I don't open up and allow myself to own her like she needs at times. We are only dom/sub in the bedroom. I do have a little something planned for Sat. Night which hopefully will allow me to enjoy controlling her. Not that I don't now, but what I have in mind I'm eagerly anticipating already and plan to use this as an opportunity to be instinctual rather than loving. I should mention she is preggers and that may have something to do with it. My question has anyone else dealt with these feelings? And any friendly advice is welcome.

There was a pregnant woman safety thread somewhere, check the library - I think a realistic view of what is and is not OK will help counteract some of the "but this is my pregnant wife" thing happening.

For me, it's very counterintuitive to beat up and psychically overpower the person I have to live with every day - even for fun, even though it makes me hot and I want to do it. I think it's fine if that's always a bit of work to get your head around.

I think laziness and simplicity are underrated, also. Just pick something that feels good for you and demand it.

 

[drock28]

I have no intentions of beating her up, this has to be something fun for both of us, but it is more about taking control and using her body sexually for my pure gratification

 

[Stella_Omega]

I have no intentions of beating her up, this has to be something fun for both of us, but it is more about taking control and using her body sexually for my pure gratification

I've been pregnant twice and i was about insatiable both times. I say, go for it.

You will find several threads on pregancy in the fetish and sexuality forum, by the way-- probably get some insight there as well

 

[Netzach]

I have no intentions of beating her up, this has to be something fun for both of us, but it is more about taking control and using her body sexually for my pure gratification

I'm totally not being literal. But I do think that looking at some of the safety data in a neutral way will help you feel freer to get wild.

 

[laceNlthrgrrl]

Can't help meself, I keep seeing this thread.

Dominate is a verb---it's what you DO.

Dominant is an adjective---it's how you do it.

You are (with all respect, etc) becoming more DOMINANT with your wife.


Well, I feel better now, anyway.

 

[drock28]

Sorry lace, ill try to make better use of the English language.

 

[Licia]

Hell all, so here's the thing, I am dominate, my wife is becoming more comfortable with being my submissive, and we are progressing slowly, it's me who is actually less comfortable. In the past when with partners who allowed me to be more of my dominate nature, I easily took on the role, my natural instinct came out and had so much fun with it. Now with my wife I find it rather hard to disconnect my feelings, of simply adoring her and wanting to be so gentle as not to make her uncomfortable that I don't open up and allow myself to own her like she needs at times. We are only dom/sub in the bedroom. I do have a little something planned for Sat. Night which hopefully will allow me to enjoy controlling her. Not that I don't now, but what I have in mind I'm eagerly anticipating already and plan to use this as an opportunity to be instinctual rather than loving. I should mention she is preggers and that may have something to do with it. My question has anyone else dealt with these feelings? And any friendly advice is welcome.

Heh, heh.

The dynamic feels like trying to hold a quasar in your hand. "I love this person and I want to dominate them just because that is how I am wired, and they want to submit. Gah, oof! I'm gonna ... *devolve and evolve*. Ah, he's a big dude. He can take it and like it, but he's foolish to think I cannot hurt him physically and mentally..."

And for all that internal stuff, I still remain present: He wants this, begs for it...has kept it inside for too long--looking glasses and rabbit holes.

Definitely search the pregnancy threads. Use common sense and err on the side of caution. I wouldn't tie her up--her weight on her stomach--after 3 months time. If you spank or flog, stay away from her abdomen. Maybe those are my own mama bear projections three times over.

She does need you, probably moreso right now. Never, ever forget that. Do it right and the both of you will be spellbound. My last two pregnancies were wrought by complications, and since we lacked the language of what we are the relationship suffered. Don't let that happen to you two. I'd bet money that your subbie becomes yet more submissive as she goes through this time in her life. *shrugs* My hubby certainly did.

 

[drock28]

If anyone is interested in hearing about how sat. Night went please read the thread, wife swapping in the literotica peronals. She is posting her pov of everything.

 

[brunette1989]

Maybe I'm being naive, but shouldn't this type of stuff be explored BEFORE marriage?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Maybe I'm being naive, but shouldn't this type of stuff be explored BEFORE marriage?

If we are lucky enough to have figured it out early, yes, we most certainly should include our sexual needs in our relationship decisions.

But you know what? People change a lot from decade to decade. You'll be amazed.

 

[laceNlthrgrrl]

If we are lucky enough to have figured it out early, yes, we most certainly should include our sexual needs in our relationship decisions.

But you know what? People change a lot from decade to decade. You'll be amazed.

Yes, yes, yes!

Here's the thing. Once the puking stage is over (speaking from experience) the other hormones kick in. Many of us acquire an astonishing libido. I remember almost humping the clothes dryer once. Damn being short!

She may be more than willing to follow, to be compliant, right now. You're the Protector and that tends to harmonize with where she's at. BUT please don't be freaked if the game changes six wasy to sunday after the babe is born. Mama bear kicks in and becomes the whole of her focus. Do try to buck up and be patient when that happens.She'll find you again when she can breathe.

 

[desertslave]

Yes, yes, yes!

Here's the thing. Once the puking stage is over (speaking from experience) the other hormones kick in. Many of us acquire an astonishing libido. I remember almost humping the clothes dryer once. Damn being short!

She may be more than willing to follow, to be compliant, right now. You're the Protector and that tends to harmonize with where she's at. BUT please don't be freaked if the game changes six wasy to sunday after the babe is born. Mama bear kicks in and becomes the whole of her focus. Do try to buck up and be patient when that happens.She'll find you again when she can breathe.

How do I put this delicately?

Uhhh...FUCK YEAH! Lol

Swimming in hormones and knowing you're 'free' from pills, condoms, etc, is seriously empowering (she said as a sub--really!)

It's hot, it's cool, it's NOW, dammit!

As a cousin once told me...have as much sex and sleep as you possibly can, NOW, because you might not have that chance again!

Go forth and rock her world. Neither of you may want the chance again for quite a while!

 

[drock28]

This is actually our 3rd pregnancy. Our boys are a little older, and this is really the first time we've been relaxed enough to enjoy the pregnancy. I have no doubt things could change after the baby, and that is fine. But, as long as our communication doesn't break down, we will always be just fine.

 

[angel2612]

This is actually our 3rd pregnancy. Our boys are a little older, and this is really the first time we've been relaxed enough to enjoy the pregnancy. I have no doubt things could change after the baby, and that is fine. But, as long as our communication doesn't break down, we will always be just fine.

No worries here babe.. as soon as everythings healed we will be right back at it. Let's face it I can't keep my hands off you for long. And there's always my mouth while we wait. Practice makes perfect and there's always room for improvement. Not like were going to get any less sleep then we already do anyway .