Becoming a pro Domme

[Maxipad]

Long-time Lit poster, new name, because too many people on here know me IRL and I don't want this to become public knowledge. I apologize if that offends anyone but I need to protect my privacy.

I have been thinking about becoming a proDomme for years and finally am at a point where I seriously want to do this.

Does anyone know where I can go to be taught? Both the practical and business aspects, preferably.

My topping has been mostly restricted to close relationships, not short-term. I'm not a social person and am very uncomfortable at parties and munches, so that's not the best avenue for me. I'd like a focused situation with a professional who can teach me to be the same.

Any suggestions?

 

[DVS]

Long-time Lit poster, new name, because too many people on here know me IRL and I don't want this to become public knowledge. I apologize if that offends anyone but I need to protect my privacy.

I have been thinking about becoming a proDomme for years and finally am at a point where I seriously want to do this.

Does anyone know where I can go to be taught? Both the practical and business aspects, preferably.

My topping has been mostly restricted to close relationships, not short-term. I'm not a social person and am very uncomfortable at parties and munches, so that's not the best avenue for me. I'd like a focused situation with a professional who can teach me to be the same.

Any suggestions?

Do you have dominant tendencies? You can be taught the basics, but if you don't have that Dom/me feeling, I don't think you will have that much luck at it as a job. I also think you should be kind of social, really. It's a business and you need to attract clients.

I don't know if there are any aprentiships for that sort of thing. There might be. You'd just have to contact a pro and see if they would train you.

 

[Maxipad]

Do you have dominant tendencies? You can be taught the basics, but if you don't have that Dom/me feeling, I don't think you will have that much luck at it as a job. I also think you should be kind of social, really. It's a business and you need to attract clients.

I don't know if there are any aprentiships for that sort of thing. There might be. You'd just have to contact a pro and see if they would train you.

Yes. I've been the sexually dominant one in my relationships. I do well one-on-one, but not in groups. I suck at small talk.

 

[Netzach]

Actually I don't think it takes a sexually Dominant orientation, though if I didn't have one I'd be bored out of my freaking mind and I don't know how I'd do it, but it's not like that for everyone.

I have a lot of peers who are personally more fetishistic or even lifestyle submissives, and are quite good at what they do.

What you need is the following:

1. Assloads of patience with the human race. If anyone has ever said you're good with kids and animals, you are possibly cut out for it. People will want to play with you and they will be pushy rude and sometimes dangerous assholes. Can you say no in a kind way and move on without getting riled?

2. A very strong sense of YOUR OWN boundaries and a willingness to stay with them. Know as much as you can what you will and will not do for a buck. Yes, our limits are never quite discovered until they are hit, but be honest with yourself when you get to that point. No amount of money is worth assaulting your own boundaries over.

3. You are not going to get rich fast. You are probably not going to get rich. In fact, you are probably not going to want to quit your day job for a while to come if at all.

4. An open mind. If you're judgemental about fetishes and you look down on submissive males or guys with a fetish, I hope you are really really hot. Like Elizabeth Hurley hot. Because they will go to you once, but they won't go back, you'd better love pervs to do this.

5. Listening skills. Creativity. Did I mention the patience of a saint? Promotional skills. (I'm an introvert too, and guess what, I can't be one, I have to push myself to get around that a lot. You are going to be shaking hands and slapping ass with people you hardly know. Find your inner extrovert, roleplay one, whatever it takes.)

6. Ethics and self control. In this political climate and even before, I'm basically a girl scout in a leather dress. I don't party, I don't do weird things outside this one very weird thing. It's this odd mix of caution and promotion.

I recommend VERY strongly working in a reputable house. Starting as an independent is a bad idea, building a dungeon with your boyfriend is a bad idea, outcall hotel room scenes on the road with no prior experience is an extremely bad idea. If a house suggests that sexual activity or illegal activity is routine or condoned, I'd move ON immediately.

 

[madeline]

It's true - you don't actually have to be dominant in order to do this as a profession. I tried it (once) found out it wasn't for me, but ended up writing a one-woman show about the experience. I think the comment about having patience and an open mind is really true - I watched and participated in things I had no idea existed (scat eating, electric shock torture) but I had no idea of my own boundaries, so I didn't feel I could say no.

I guess my thought for you is that being a professional domme is really different from private play - because once you accept money for something, you are providing a service. You no longer control the experience - they do. They are paying for their particular desire - enemas, strap-on's, whathaveyou - and it may not be your cup of tea.

In NYC the going rate was $75 an hour, but you've got to do a lot of scenes to make the rent- and that can be exhausting.

ANyway, that's my two cents - best of luck! (PS I found the job lead for the house I worked in on craigslist - the erotic services section)

 

[Maxipad]

Thank you, Netzach, for such a well thought out answer.

I need to figure out how to find a reputable house and then how to obtain a training position. I agree that starting as an independent is a bad idea. I don't think I'd ever do it if that was my only option.

Madeline, it would be my pleasure to provide such service.

 

[pandoravampire]

Being prodomme is a fantasy of mine, not ever going to be a reality.

I would suggest pm'ing CatalinasFransico i think it is. Im sure her daughter has begun this path.

I seem to remember a post of hers, where the daughter had been taken on by a reputable establishment, which may of been a members bdsm club?

my memory is rather vague. Perhaps it wasnt her, if any other regulars can help with who had a daughter that did this?

I seem to remember lessons, classes, tutorials etc.

The business side of things: most area's will do a 'women into business' type course. This is for starting up your own business. That works, whatever the business is. Its a business your running after all. Same skills required whatever your business.

Then there's the legal side.

goodluck

 

[Netzach]

It's true - you don't actually have to be dominant in order to do this as a profession. I tried it (once) found out it wasn't for me, but ended up writing a one-woman show about the experience. I think the comment about having patience and an open mind is really true - I watched and participated in things I had no idea existed (scat eating, electric shock torture) but I had no idea of my own boundaries, so I didn't feel I could say no.

I guess my thought for you is that being a professional domme is really different from private play - because once you accept money for something, you are providing a service. You no longer control the experience - they do. They are paying for their particular desire - enemas, strap-on's, whathaveyou - and it may not be your cup of tea.

In NYC the going rate was $75 an hour, but you've got to do a lot of scenes to make the rent- and that can be exhausting.

ANyway, that's my two cents - best of luck! (PS I found the job lead for the house I worked in on craigslist - the erotic services section)

The argument about who's in control once money changes hands rages on and on. I do many fewer sessions than people who are in a services provider mindset, and I am much pickier about overlapping interests. This is why I do other things to make money. I don't do anything that doesn't sound good to me anymore. I think everyone goes through a varied period of dues paying where you figure out what you like, and some continue on in a services provider kind of vein while others go on to make it more like riding a roller coaster. You get on, and you experience.