BDSM writing

[CharleyH]

I feel that a BDSM scene is an exchange of anticipations (for sub) and narcissistic appreciations (for dom). In this way, I am considering writing a BDSM scene (which I have never done before) the way one might write a scene in a horror film (without the horror other than the release of repression - the horror being pleasure) with moments of suspense and lulls - kind of like Jaws, music rising but nothing happens, music subsides and then WHAM.

Or in writing it this way, would I be falling prey to cliche?

BTW what is cliche in BDSM writing? In otherwords, what are common errors that you as a reader see in BDSM writing.

Any thoughts?

 

[sincerely_helene]

I feel that a BDSM scene is an exchange of anticipations (for sub) and narcissistic appreciations (for dom). In this way, I am considering writing a BDSM scene (which I have never done before) the way one might write a scene in a horror film (without the horror other than the release of repression - the horror being pleasure) with moments of suspense and lulls - kind of like Jaws, music rising but nothing happens, music subsides and then WHAM.

Or in writing it this way, would I be falling prey to cliche?

BTW what is cliche in BDSM writing? In otherwords, what are common errors that you as a reader see in BDSM writing.

Any thoughts?

Sex and/or manipulation directly after a genital/nipple piercing. That's just beyond extremely dangerous and unsanitary. I have even read of people hanging 5 pound weights from those things an hour later.

 

[Guest]

i gave this a bit of thought... and really one thing keeps sticking out in my mind.
not all domme's are gorgeous and leather clad.

but then i have hyper brain and these thoughts spring to mind...
not all couples involved in bdsm have intricate trappings...infact, a wooden spoon can come in rather handy. most couples get very inventive because bdsm toys can be very expensive.
while i enjoy the beautiful people... i find that a character with some kind of flaw intriguing.
not all dom's know everything. ive read some stories that make the dom seem like a god. UGH!
just a few thoughts really.

 

[CharleyH]

Re: Re: BDSM writing

Sex and/or manipulation directly after a genital/nipple piercing. That's just beyond extremely dangerous and unsanitary. I have even read of people hanging 5 pound weights from those things an hour later.

Does this mean you think it is cliche'?

 

[sincerely_helene]

Re: Re: Re: BDSM writing

Does this mean you think it is cliche'?

By your definition, yes.

By Websters definition, yes.

 

[CharleyH]

not all dom's know everything. ive read some stories that make the dom seem like a god. UGH!
just a few thoughts really.

I came across one who named herself, Godess . . . ? Thanks PM'd.

Thank you Helene, was not sure - despite being awake, I am still hazy. I am certain I'd have avoided that one nonetheless. Still, should suspense be created in writing a BDSM scene? Would you say suspense, in certain cases, is the essence of a good scene playing out on paper?

 

[impressive]

Re: Re: BDSM writing

Sex and/or manipulation directly after a genital/nipple piercing. That's just beyond extremely dangerous and unsanitary. I have even read of people hanging 5 pound weights from those things an hour later.

Oh! That makes my asshole pucker -- and not in a good way!

 

[impressive]

most couples get very inventive because bdsm toys can be very expensive.

Not only that, but they're harder to explain when the kids find 'em.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Re: Re: Re: BDSM writing

Oh! That makes my asshole pucker -- and not in a good way!

Ohhh! Puckering assholes! That was going to be my next one!

 

[Guest]

I've got loads of thoughts on this, but I am sadly lacking time right now (well not sadly, cos I'm off out for some food ), but I will come back later and give a much longer answer.

I write a lot of BDSM (but not much of it posted here) and I always write firmly based in reality. In other words I write scenes exactly as they are. I don't put any gloss on it, or hype someone up to be something they're not. I don't have to, for one thing! For another, getting that real feeling of the power exchange, the sometimes inner conflict and the building suspense, the anticipation, the being made to wait for what's coming next, then the great crescendos of action are all part of it. So, yes, I do think a BDSM story, in particular, does need the quite dramatic change in pace and so on, to realistically reflect the intensity of a scene.

As for cliches in BDSM writing, I'm not sure what they are exactly, but I do know I avoid them at all costs.

Lou

 

[sincerely_helene]

Thank you Helene, was not sure - despite being awake, I am still hazy. I am certain I'd have avoided that one nonetheless. Still, should suspense be created in writing a BDSM scene? Would you say suspense, in certain cases, is the essence of a good scene playing out on paper?

You're probably asking the wrong person on that one. I have this tendency to focus too much on the suspense, and not enough on the what most readers would consider the 'good stuff'. In short, I ramble.

If you are able to pull it off, I say go for it! Suspense creates the best foreplay, (at least for me.)

I would say it would vastly also depend on the gender of the reader. Many BDSM females would probably agree that element of suspense is what they thrive on.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

For me BDSM isn’t so much about suspense as it is about the tension and prolonged build-up of desire and the changes they cause in the sub. In one sense BDSM can be looked at as foreplay excruciatingly prolonged, till the two people are just melting with desire, and it’s that melting-ness I try to capture, that transcendent sexual need. You can’t achieve that kind of emotion in vanilla, where you usually get the old kiss-cunnilingus-fellatio-coitus progression. It’s only when one person’s tied up or restrained that you can take the passion to those truly excruciating heights.

For me the cliches are when all the attention’s spent on what’s done rather than on what’s experienced. I’m not really interested in how tight the nipple clamps are or how hard or how many times he spanks her. Instead I want to know what the experience does to her: how she responds and what she feels. The goal of a BDSM session (for me, anyhow), is to make her acknowledge her own sexuality and needs, and the real drama is not in what these two people do, but in seeing her go from being a nice, proper lady to being a totally passionate, entirely sexual animal. The biggest chliche for me in BDSM writing is when the sub is just treated as a whipping object.

BDSM can be looked at as a perverse kind of worship in which the sub is the object of veneration. She’s (or he’s) really the star of the show. I’m not into the S&M, so I don’t like BDSM that concentrates on the master, because he doesn’t change in the course of the scene. He’s the same guy at the end as he was at the beginning. To see the sub forced and teased till she abandons her inhibitions and sense of propriety and embraces her raw sexuality, that’s the sexy part.

---dr.M.

 

[TheEarl]

For me BDSM isn’t so much about suspense as it is about the tension and prolonged build-up of desire and the changes they cause in the sub. In one sense BDSM can be looked at as foreplay excruciatingly prolonged, till the two people are just melting with desire, and it’s that melting-ness I try to capture, that transcendent sexual need. You can’t achieve that kind of emotion in vanilla, where you usually get the old kiss-cunnilingus-fellatio-coitus progression. It’s only when one person’s tied up or restrained that you can take the passion to those truly excruciating heights.

For me the cliches are when all the attention’s spent on what’s done rather than on what’s experienced. I’m not really interested in how tight the nipple clamps are or how hard or how many times he spanks her. Instead I want to know what the experience does to her: how she responds and what she feels. The goal of a BDSM session (for me, anyhow), is to make her acknowledge her own sexuality and needs, and the real drama is not in what these two people do, but in seeing her go from being a nice, proper lady to being a totally passionate, entirely sexual animal.

BDSM can be looked at as a perverse kind of worship in which the sub is the object of veneration. She’s (or he’s) really the star of the show. I’m not into the S&M, so I don’t like BDSM that concentrates on the master, because he doesn’t change in the course of the scene. He’s the same guy at the end as he was at the beginning. To see the sub forced and teased till she abandons her inhibitions and sense of propriety and embraces her raw sexuality, that’s the sexy part.

---dr.M.

Good writing Dr M and good advice. JOI are there any BDSM things in Writer's Resources?

The Earl

 

[CharleyH]

BDSM can be looked at as a perverse kind of worship in which the sub is the object of veneration. She’s (or he’s) really the star of the show. I’m not into the S&M, so I don’t like BDSM that concentrates on the master, because he doesn’t change in the course of the scene. He’s the same guy at the end as he was at the beginning. To see the sub forced and teased till she abandons her inhibitions and sense of propriety and embraces her raw sexuality, that’s the sexy part.

---dr.M.

Now this is fascinating. Since the goal is to write from the perspective of a Domme who does indeed change during the course of a scene while at the same time maintaining a sense of sexuality unearthed, unbound, released within the sub. Is it possible to write (well, obviously anything is possible) but is it feasable to write from a perspective of this change in the Domme without losing the sense of control that the Domme should obviously have?

In doing so, showing this weakness, and I will say weakness in the most minute of action hesitations, but more prolonged reflection of internal monologue, would such a scene lose its SM flavour? Would it lose its sexual appeal to the reader?

 

[Lisa Denton]

I don't write it but like reading some light "headbangin" stuff, this is from todays entertainment news, really.




(He grabs me, and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me. And then I grab him, and I slam him up against the wall and kiss him. I got the s--t beaten out of me!
--Jake Gyllenhaal in Us Weekly, on his love scenes with Heath Ledger in the gay western Brokeback Mountain. Whoa! Or should we say, ride 'em cowboy? Maybe they'll have to rename the picture S&M Mountain.)

 

[mismused]

Now this is fascinating. Since the goal is to write from the perspective of a Domme who does indeed change during the course of a scene while at the same time maintaining a sense of sexuality unearthed, unbound, released within the sub. Is it possible to write (well, obviously anything is possible) but is it feasable to write from a perspective of this change in the Domme without losing the sense of control that the Domme should obviously have?

In doing so, showing this weakness, and I will say weakness in the most minute of action hesitations, but more prolonged reflection of internal monologue, would such a scene lose its SM flavour? Would it lose its sexual appeal to the reader?

========================

I know you've most likely read it, but just in case you hadn't, see Colly's "Fire." I'm not a BDSM person, but if I remember correctly, there seemed to be few, if any, cliches, yet the story fascinated me with it's style. Style can be copied, yet be extremely different.

mismused

 

[CharleyH]

He grabs me, and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me. And then I grab him, and I slam him up against the wall and kiss him. I got the s--t beaten out of me!
--Jake Gyllenhaal in Us Weekly, on his love scenes with Heath Ledger in the gay western Brokeback Mountain. Whoa! Or should we say, ride 'em cowboy? Maybe they'll have to rename the picture S&M Mountain.

lol - this is more exciting than the apparent scenes in Alexander - that's something

 

[yui]

(He grabs me, and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me. And then I grab him, and I slam him up against the wall and kiss him. I got the s--t beaten out of me!)

That shouldn't make me hot, should it?

 

[CharleyH]

I've got loads of thoughts on this, but I am sadly lacking time right now (well not sadly, cos I'm off out for some food ), but I will come back later and give a much longer answer.

I write a lot of BDSM (but not much of it posted here) and I always write firmly based in reality. In other words I write scenes exactly as they are. I don't put any gloss on it, or hype someone up to be something they're not. I don't have to, for one thing! For another, getting that real feeling of the power exchange, the sometimes inner conflict and the building suspense, the anticipation, the being made to wait for what's coming next, then the great crescendos of action are all part of it. So, yes, I do think a BDSM story, in particular, does need the quite dramatic change in pace and so on, to realistically reflect the intensity of a scene.

As for cliches in BDSM writing, I'm not sure what they are exactly, but I do know I avoid them at all costs.

Lou

So there is the expectation, in reading SM, that there will be gloss? And what do you mean by reality? More pointedly, reality vs. what in SM writing?

 

[CharleyH]

========================

I know you've most likely read it, but just in case you hadn't, see Colly's "Fire." I'm not a BDSM person, but if I remember correctly, there seemed to be few, if any, cliches, yet the story fascinated me with it's style. Style can be copied, yet be extremely different.

mismused

Thanks Mismused. Did Colly pay you for that?

(joking )

 

[mismused]

Thanks Mismused. Did Colly pay you for that?

(joking )

==========================

Hmm! If Colly will fall for it, and sends a check (and it's good), you'll get a dozen of 's.

mismused

(Now why didn't I think of that?)

 

[Pure]

Hi C,

My advice is simply to model yourself after the better writers of SM. The screenname, zenwstick comes to mind. Also 'norma jean' (there may be an 'ne' at the end, I forget). And though I'm not in their league, I gave it a couple tries, also.

I think the problem is that SM and fetishes are rather 'hard wired' and given. Something fairly precise has to happen. The framework you have is very tight. One of the biggest cliches, of course, is patterning after the Story of O, one of the classics.

PS.

While dr mabeuse always has wise advice and great execution, I want to add one small supplement:

//I?m not really interested in how tight the nipple clamps are or how hard or how many times he spanks her. Instead I want to know what the experience does to her: how she responds and what she feels.//

If you look at the Story of O, you'll note there's almost an absence of 'feeling' words "She was terrified." "She felt despair." So the supplement is to allow space for the readers to feel and insert (project) their feelings, and that's done by concentrating on external details, and sensations, but 'implying' the feeling.

 

[Guest]

So there is the expectation, in reading SM, that there will be gloss? And what do you mean by reality? More pointedly, reality vs. what in SM writing?

I mean without the leather-clad whip-weilding Dom/me. That ain't real life (except in professional dungeons, perhaps), that's the stuff of "fantasy" (some people's perhaps - not mine).

I mean real people doing real things to and with each other.

I also mean depicting exactly how things go, and not glossing over the harsher/less comfortable/not easily acceptable stuff.

Reality is often much dirtier and harder hitting than fantasy.

(Please bear in mind that I've had a few. Cheers!)

Lou

 

[Pure]

Note to lou,

Don't you think sometimes reality is overrated?

 

[Guest]

Note to lou,

Don't you think sometimes reality is overrated?

Nope, not in my experience. Completely the opposite, in fact.