Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Save money this year by telling your kids Santa has covid

 

[stickygirl]

Semen is a perfect glue for sealing letters and even comes with a handy applicator

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get a mortgage on a house, then get a reverse mortgage. Use the money from the reverse mortgage to pay the mortgage. Basically a free house!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Remember that when driving in a blizzard, bald tires actually have the most surface contact with snow and therefore more traction.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don't pay your water bill during the winter. Then you don't have to worry about your pipes freezing and bursting!

 

[VoraciousValue]

Try to make a witty, thoughtful response to this thread when you can barely keep your eyes open.

 

[Trubbycat]

Burlap is great underwear material.

 

[ydahecnot]

Open the windows during a blizzard. Let the winter wonderland come to you!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Feeling lonely? Just get into your vehicle and rear end a random Motorist. You have now met several new people!

 

[may_I_please]

Just do it

oh really? Just do it eh? Look where that gets you

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

Soap is expensive.

Save money by only using it once a week.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

Apply icyhot or bengay directly to your cock after a hot shower for best results

Do you shave your balls or your pussy?

Two words...

AFTER SHAVE!

Make sure to get the super alcohol smelling kind for extra smooth skin.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Spice up your everyday conversations with terms like "necrophilia" and "felching!"

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you buy a cucumber make sure you also buy vaseline so the cashier does not think you are a vegan.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Too poor to get your own weed? Move in next door to some potheads! Contact high guaranteed!

 

[fakingadulthood]

the best things in life are not free but cost exactly $3.50 plus tax

 

[Britva415]

Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you're going to have after you quit this one.

 

[Cuckwannabe111]

Getting called into the boss's office? Let him know you are comfortable in such a setting by insulting his family members. Make sure you point out any flaws in his family photos on his desk

 

[VoraciousValue]

Getting called into the boss's office? Let him know you are comfortable in such a setting by insulting his family members. Make sure you point out any flaws in his family photos on his desk

George Carlin once did a routine offering bizarre ideas with how to handle a job interview, including:

"And if you still don't get the job, point to the picture on his desk and say: 'WHO'S THE CUNT?!?!'"

Another bad life tip, that one.

 

[Trubbycat]

When the staff meeting does deadly quiet when layoffs are announced, a rip-roaring loud fart will always break the tension.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you have erectile dysfunction, put it in the freezer. The water inside your penis will expand about 9% below 0 degrees, which if the member is roughly 70% water, means you'll get 6.3% size difference.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you're going to someone's house with dirty shoes, carpet is an excellent way to remove the dirt off them.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can't afford a good, high quality tattoo? Get a cheap swastika tattoo, then get a charitable artist to do a free cover up.

 

[Lady2020]

No tattoos on my end. I've been asked why. My skin belongs to me and I like it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If someone is having a bad day, stick your thumb up their ass and ask them if they'd rather be in Prison!