Bad Random Life Tips.

[VoraciousValue]

Turn the oven on then let it sit for an hour or so before putting anything in it. Which I did just now.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are pulled over by the cops, be sure to inform the officer that your tax dollars pay their salary. This will remind them to respect you, and they appreciate that.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need a job? Just walk behind the counter and start working.

 

[stickygirl]

Just been threatened by your boss with being fired? Ask them to frame their words in a more positive way.

 

[stickygirl]

Offended by your friend's dog dry-humping you? Rub your bare ass on their carpet

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you smell like marijuana the police will give you a full body massage.

 

[mnbreastluver]

This Valentines’s day, instead of wasting money to buy chocolates or flowers for your SO, give them an STD. This ensures that they will remember you for a long time.

 

[AllAmericanMale]

When the officer reaches your window, ask them why they were speeding.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you see a police car behind you flashing its lights, it means that you’re driving is so good, traffic laws don't apply to you anymore.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to make money quick? bet your entire life savings on red at the roulette table in the casino.

 

[gga]

Want to make money quick? bet your entire life savings on red at the roulette table in the casino.

OMG! Thank you!

 

[SherlockianMan]

For perfectly curly hair, be sure to place hairdryer into the tub.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If someone asks you for “personal” information, just give it to them

The person asking is just trying to see if you would be a good friend because secrets don’t make friends.

 

[Cwtchseeker]

For UK visitors… those little yellow boxes on the side of our roads, are designed to measure engine efficiency by seeing just how much speed your car can do. Floor it to make sure the reading is accurate.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you hear a strange noise at night while with your significant other and you're too lazy/comfortable/scared to get up and investigate, sigh and say in a slightly annoyed voice "I told my ex to leave me alone." And watch your s/o get up to go investigate the noise at once.

 

[Shenanigans90]

Tired of manscaping so often? Use a portable torch on your pubes to kill the hair cells.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tired of cleaning? Just throw everything in one room and forget about it for months!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Inform your boss that, for Lent, you will be abstaining from working. They can’t say no since it’s a religious practice.

 

[_Ritch_]

Always stick your cock in the bacon slicer.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Are you tired of spending money to keep up with the Jones? Legally change your name to Jones, so that you don't have to keep up with anyone anymore.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Be honest all the time. People love it!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If the police pull you over for a traffic violation, tell them you are blind. They know it looks bad if they ticket people with handicaps and will most likely let you go.

 

[exgovie]

If the police pull you over for a traffic violation, tell them you are blind. They know it looks bad if they ticket people with handicaps and will most likely let you go.

Yes straight to jail do not pass go or collect $200.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Post stalking people is in no way a show of attention. Instead randomly follow up everything they post with a sarcastic comment to show interest.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Too poor to travel by plane? Put your mobile on Airplane Mode and pretend you're flying.