Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

If you ever want to pull off a drive through bank job just put your gun in the Transaction drawer and when they pull it in the'll know you mean business

 

[Mrtenant]

If you are doing a gig as clown, hang out in the storm drain and make weird noises.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Boil your pasta for 10 extra minutes. Now you have even more pasta!

 

[stickygirl]

Angry at the cost of a tank of gas? Fill your gas tank with large grade gravel and slash that cost by 50%. It's called displacement and the Greeks have been pulling that stunt for centuries.

 

[cascadiabound]

Use an AR15 to shoot varmints

 

[RachelWalsh]

Go ahead and send that dick pic. She will love it.

Let's not be too judgemental. Lol

 

[mickyp123]

Use an AR15 to shoot varmints

Are they a bigger version of peppermints

 

[Pad_Foot]

Only worrywarts show up 3 hours before flights, 30 minutes is just fine

(Ignore that!!!)

 

[RachelWalsh]

Just try METH!

 

[mnbreastluver]

To avoid paying any more taxes, stamp DECEASED on all government mails and send them back. You'll be taken off the lists and left alone until you actually die.

 

[Mrtenant]

Go to the library and surf porn on their computers. Lots of it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you're single and looking for a companion, this Summer: forget that deodorant in the morning ! The pheromones you'll produce will make you stand out in public, and you'll see that people will inescapably start noticing you on the bus, on the train, in the office... guaranteed success !

 

[alwaysaway]

To test if the water is boiling, stick your hand directly in it. Same goes for cooking oil.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When you see those commercials that say "4 in 5 dentists recommend" and then they recommend something, find that 5th dentist. He is never recommending anything, so he is the one who knows the secret to not needing to do anything and maintaining your teeth healthy.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to tell the true temperature of something, but your hands aren't sensitive enough? Use your penis since it is the most sensitive piece of the body.

 

[Mrtenant]

Want to see how your penis size measures up? Whip it out in a biker bar. They will be happy to help you find out.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Having trouble letting go of the mistakes in your past? Try your best to make even bigger ones now.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Arrange for all of your bills to be paid on the 31st of each month. That way you will only have to pay them 7 times a year

 

[mnbreastluver]

Cant get a date because of your many red flags? Date a color-blind person!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you're going out into the desert, make sure to take sandpaper with you. If you get lost, the sandpaper will function as a map and you can find your way home.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you ever drink something very acidic, drink something very basic like drain cleaner, they neutralize each other.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Driving up to an intersection and not sure whether you want to go left or right? Press the red triangle in the middle of the dashboard, that allows you to pick whichever direction you want at the last second.

 

[Mattentive]

Don't like the taste of mouthwash? Just add sugar.

 

[mnbreastluver]

For a super strong password use 8675309.

 

[English_guy_bkk]

Watch 'high street tv' while drinking alcohol.