Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Depressed? Try cock and ball torture.

 

[Guyblue82]

Using Tesla Auto pilot is the perfect time for autofilatio

 

[mnbreastluver]

Cool down during the heatwave with a refreshing glass of liquid nitrogen.

 

[Mrtenant]

To keep your soda from going flat, drop in a couple mentos in the bottle right after you open it and (this part is critical) cover it with your mouth for twenty seconds.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Been waiting forever to get that promotion? Get to work early and release a pack of rabid animals every morning. Sit back and watch the job openings start to pour in.

 

[mnbreastluver]

How to handle a job interview.

Because body language is important to see how nervous or awkward a person is make sure you start the interview with "I'm a nervous masturbator." Now, as long as you don't masturbate during the interview they'll never know if you're nervous.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you go into McDonald’s and say Uber Eats they give you free food.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don’t swallow ANY magnets before you visit the knife museum.

Don’t ask me how I know this…

 

[mnbreastluver]

We call Wednesday "Hump Day" because it's halfway through the workweek. So when you wish a colleague a Happy Hump Day, be sure to point just below your waist (halfway up your body). And finish with a wink, so everyone knows you enjoy a Happy Hump too.

 

[stickygirl]

If you're hauling groceries in a bag to your car, put your keys in the other pocket

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always insult your waiter/waitress to get extra seasoning/sauce on your food from the chef

 

[Shenanigans90]

Ladies, do not send nude photos to Shenanigans90.

 

[Cymru9696]

Clown cars really do have amazing cargo space.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don't have access to a suana? Find a porta potty and sit in there during a warm day.

 

[Mattentive]

Always run with scissors.

 

[mnbreastluver]

It’s better to leave the lid down on your propane grill before lighting it.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Can't convince your SO to try something new? Use the new Lit service, "Phone a Friend". We'll do your dirty work because we like getting dirty.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Stand outside a movie theater telling people how the movie ends. They’ll thank you for saving them $10 and they might even tip you.

 

[water_moutina]

If you're in middle of an argument and want to end it, then be the bigger person. Pee on them to show you're the bigger person and ascertain dominance

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get a job as a Walgreens cashier. Refuse to sell anyone, anything on religious grounds. Get paid for doing nothing.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Ask every police officer about their car's extended warranty. They'll think you're a bot and will ignore everything you do.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Run someone over in front of your mom's house on mother's day, then she'll get free flowers every year

 

[mnbreastluver]

When staying at an hotel, set the alarm in the middle of the night to be sure to annoy the next guest as much as possible.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Buy a goat and take it with you when you commit a crime. Goats have been selectively bred to take the blame for crimes they witness.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Women love it when men show emotions. Make sure you cry when you're having sex to make it more romantic.