Bad Random Life Tips.

[HotBrand]

Ask your partner what their guiltiest sex fantasy is.

If they tell you, shout "SICK! DISGUSTING! GROSS! HOW COULD YOU?!"

This will give your partner an opportunity to develop more confidence in defending their fantasies if a stranger or friend reacted like this.

Because people would react like that.

Because you'll tell everyone and phrase it really badly.

All in the name of building your partner's confidence.

 

[gga]

Slowly encourage yourself to indulge in cannibalism.

After all, cannibals ALWAYS survive being stranded on a frozen mountain with friends. You've not only come to terms with a horrible dilemma; you've embraced it as a way of life. You're a paragon of virtue, if anything!

Even better: you can play the hero by selflessly giving your share of the rations to another person, knowing you'll get those calories back one way or another ...

Just always be sure to bring enough friends.

 

[HotBrand]

Just always be sure to bring enough friends.

They do say variety is the spice of life. Paprika will work in a pinch though.

 

[gga]

They do say variety is the spice of life. Paprika will work in a pinch though.

Tonight, I think I'll have Italian.
Luigi, come back!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you can't get out of bed in the morning, take a laxative the night before.

 

[HotBrand]

Prove that you are the bravest driver on the road by driving in the lane of opposing traffic.

Laugh as they all "chicken" out and swerve to avoid you.

 

[Shenanigans90]

If you are attracted to someone at work, send them a naughty selfie on the company email. This is guaranteed to get you noticed.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Set your out of office auto reply to "Leave me the fuck alone."

 

[VoraciousValue]

Tell a random beautiful woman on the street they just gave you a throbbing hard-on.

 

[NoUseForAnyName]

Tell a random beautiful woman on the street they just gave you a throbbing hard-on.

Better yet, show her.

 

[HotBrand]

If someone asks you to guess their age, reply with a number that is several years older than they look.

They will be flattered that they apparently give off such an air of wisdom and experience.

 

[HotBrand]

About to play Twister but you're not flexible and you're competitive?

Eat a bowl of baked beans before the game starts.

The winds of fate will seal your inevitable victory.

 

[VoraciousValue]

If someone asks you to guess their age, reply with a number that is several years older than they look.

They will be flattered that they apparently give off such an air of wisdom and experience.

I actually had a date do that one time. She asked, "How old do I look?"

I was too old to be that inexperienced, so I started mentally hyperventilating trying to figure out how to answer that question. I think I squeaked out my answer: "35?"

"No I'm 40, but thank you." I was just trying to figure out how to get past first base with this woman, which never happened then or even much on dates until my 30's.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Instead of using cooking oil use gasoline for more of a burning explosive flavor.

 

[HotBrand]

What is the best medicine? Laughter is the best medicine!

So, instead of performing CPR, shout your best knock-knock jokes into their face.

If that doesn't save them, it just wasn't meant to be.

 

[HotBrand]

Take a picture of your orgasm.

It lasts longer.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Is the water not potable in your city? Help your fellow citizen by buying bottled water and emptying it in the sink or the toilet. This will slowly, over time, render the water drinkable.

 

[HotBrand]

Is your partner into masochism during sex?

Get on top of them, squeeze their nipples, and highlight all of their physical inadequacies.

They'll love that level of pain!

 

[Shenanigans90]

Steal an attractive friend’s phone and send a naughty text to proposition your spouse to see if they are faithful.

 

[HotBrand]

On the first day of sending your child to school, beat up another parent in front of everyone.

Prison rules. All the other kids will respect yours, now.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Be open with people. When you call the bank, tell the nice lady you have a throbbing hard-on. She'll appreciate the candor.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your boss ever threatens to fire you, just drink a fire resistance potion so he won’t be able to.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you live to be 100 and get interviewed by the media make up a stupid reason for your longevity, for example eating maggots for breakfast.

 

[Lady2020]

Show someone you're trying to get to know that you respect them by going on their property without permission and doing what you want. And then when she doesn't bow down to you, scream at her.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Carry a water cooler around with you and any conversation you have can be considered water cooler talk.

I dont know what benefits this will bring you but it could be something.