Bad Random Life Tips.

[HotBrand]

Propose to your long-term partner on April 1st.

Your sheer audaciousness will make this the best prank ever.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you laminate your toilet paper, you can wash it off & reuse it. Remember, a REAL environmentalist will keep Earth #1, even when going #2.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always make sure someone in the relationship has good credit. That's why it's called SIGNIFICANT other. Sign-if-I-can't.

 

[VoraciousValue]

The baggage carousel at the airport doubles as a fun indoor slide. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Stop buying carrots

Every year millions of snowmen are slaughtered just so their noses can be harvested and sent to grocery stores for humans to indulge in. Next time you think about carrots, please think of the snowmen.

This message brought to you by PETA

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Locked your keys in your car? No problem! Find the next person walking with keys in their hand and take them. Now the locked car is their problem!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Prevent your partner from becoming complacent in your relationship by referring to them as "my current girlfriend", "my first husband" etc.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Spending too much on alcohol? Get a prescription that says don't mix with alcohol and mix it with alcohol. You'll need to drink way less and you'll save a ton of money.

 

[mnbreastluver]

For best results, look both ways of the road before you push someone into the oncoming traffic.

 

[mnbreastluver]

To easily know who loves you more between your wife and your dog, just put them both in a wardrobe for 2 hours. You'll know who loves you most when you open the door.

 

[gga]

To easily know who loves you more between your wife and your dog, just put them both in a wardrobe for 2 hours. You'll know who loves you most when you open the door.

In the wardrobe with or without food?

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

If you mix hot sauce into your hand sanitizer, you will not only kill germs, but also learn to stop touching your face and eyes.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Add some extra spice to her love life by chopping ghost peppers before fingering her.

 

[HeavyBalls]

Shoveling snow in the nude is a wonderful workout.

 

[Ratchetman1982]

Afraid your spouse is cheating on you? Sleep with all of their friends and right before they orgasm, ask them. They can't lie at that moment.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Need candles for a romantic night? Visit your local Catholic Church, they're free there.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When going out on a first date and going out to dinner, when the check arrives ask her if she wants to dine and dash. If she does she’s a winner.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

When pulled over, remind the cop that you are a taxpayer and pay their salary, and they work for you. They will instantly appreciate and respect you.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always keep a loaded gun under your pillow. If a burglar enters your home, you can beat him up to death with a baseball bat, then put the gun in is hand and claim self defense.

 

[HotBrand]

Every time you want to criticise your partner, open by shouting: "Surprise roast!"

You now have carte blanche to rip their personality to shreds ... AND they have to be a good sport by laughing.

 

[mnbreastluver]

You can drastically improve the quality of any vegetarian meal by simply adding meat.

 

[stickygirl]

Dog owners always chat in the park. Name your dog Cunt and you'll speak to even more people.

 

[HotBrand]

Change your name to "MI6" or "CIA". You will find everyone becomes more amenable to your needs once you introduce yourself to them.
"Hi! I'm MI6!"

 

[mnbreastluver]

Never lose your key again by simply super gluing the key into the lock. Not only will you always know where your key is.. The super glue will stop thieves from stealing your key.

 

[BrokenBarbie]

If you find yourself failing miserably at everything you attempt, try skydiving!