Bad Random Life Tips.

[HotBrand]

Enter a bar and shout "Drinks are on me!"

Wait for the applause to die down and then follow up with "Only kidding, everyone!"

Your sense of humour has now won you a room full of friends.

 

[HotBrand]

Want to feel popular?

Join a cult and swear a suicide pact.

Now you have friends for life.

 

[VoraciousValue]

That guy selling electronics out of the back of his truck always has good bargains. Why pay retail??

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are ever in an awkward conversation, just whisper "I love you" under your breath, and make sure it is barely loud enough for your acquaintance to hear you. This will shift the conversation to a topic that is not as awkward.

 

[HotBrand]

Want to set up a fun adventure centre in Germany?

Purchase an abandoned quarry and call it Mine Camp.

They'll love it.

 

[stickygirl]

If you put your finger in boiling water, its gonna hurt - it may even injure you! Put two fingers in and the heat is shared between them - much safer. Why am I still having to explain this to people?

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are ever ghosted by a person you just slept with, give me their number, I’ll call them to just say we found your body, that they were the last person to see you alive and demand they come down to the station for questioning.

 

[Mrtenant]

When you are an idiotic political ranting douche, post on Lit and prove it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Run the shower on cold for 20 minutes so that you run out of cold water and your shower is hot.

 

[HotBrand]

Wear socks with sandals on every date you have.

No one can resist you now.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Wear socks with sandals on every date you have.

No one can resist you now.

See, I don't have a problem with that. But when you have socks to your knees while wearing shorts...

 

[RVB_1]

See, I don't have a problem with that. But when you have socks to your knees while wearing shorts...

How about black dress socks with sock garters

 

[islandjoe2]

To promote harmony in the home, be sure to let your wife know when the meal she has cooked sucks. That's all.

 

[HotBrand]

Don't listen to your partner's life stories and experiences.

They'll surely appreciate getting to tell you these tales over and over.

 

[HotBrand]

Carve at least fifty notches to your headboard regardless of your sexual experience.

Prospective sexual partners will now be so impressed by your prowess.

 

[HotBrand]

Fire exits are for where the fire is meant to exit the building in an emergency.

Enable this by ensuring all fire exit doors are open at all times.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Stop reading! It will hurt your eyes! Go watch TV instead.

 

[HotBrand]

Give learner swimmers the confidence they need at your local swimming baths.

Dress as a clown, follow them from the changing rooms, and whisper "you'll float too" over and over.

https://pa1.narvii.com/6659/8e8efd64c043ae93721925eceaac9ad96705db40_hq.gif

 

[islandjoe2]

To help develop herd immunity, only drink straight from the liquor bottles when you're at a bar or restaurant.

 

[VoraciousValue]

If you're spying for one country, become a spy for another. Double your pleasure, double your fun, double your pay!

 

[HotBrand]

Kill two birds with one stone.

You definitely will not be arrested for animal cruelty.

 

[Trixxii]

Give learner swimmers the confidence they need at your local swimming baths.

Dress as a clown, follow them from the changing rooms, and whisper "you'll float too" over and over.

https://pa1.narvii.com/6659/8e8efd64c043ae93721925eceaac9ad96705db40_hq.gif

This freaks me out. Fuck, do I hate clowns.

 

[HotBrand]

This freaks me out. Fuck, do I hate clowns.

... I was once mobbed by six shrieking clowns when walking in London.

Words can't express the puddle I had made by the time they left.

 

[HotBrand]

Ask for a payrise at work by showing both honesty and integrity.

Highlight the failings of every staff member, especially your boss, and how the place would collapse without you.

 

[HotBrand]

As a man, carry only one condom for random hookups.

When you cum during sex, be as subtle as possible, then say that the condom is torn and you don't have a replacement.

You now have an excuse to avoid continuing sex, they'll be too let down to expect you to use other means to get them off, and thus .. allowing you to escape all responsibility to be a sensitive lover or a decent human being.