Bad Random Life Tips.

In the event of someone being stung by a jellyfish, immediately run to them, and piss on their leg.

If the person injured was stung in the leg, this is an added bonus.
 
If you are ever in the presence of a god of love and sex, always remember to show the proper respect by prostrating yourself.
 
A toilet brush, sprayed with pine-scented cleaner, and planted in a jam jar makes a novel and elegant centrepiece to table decoration
 
Wasps are easily intimidated.

If one stings you, swat it, and watch the rest fly away.

In the VERY HIGHLY UNLIKELY POSSIBLY COULD HAPPEN scenario that they *don't* retreat, calmly walk up to their nest while ignoring their stings, and stomp on said nest.

That'll show them.
 
Save money on exfoliating scrub by adopting a cat and letting them lick your face.
 
If your fingers get messy from eating Christmas treats and you don’t have anything to wipe them on, call your cat over and wipe them on it’s fur. Cats are neat freaks and will immediately clean themselves off.
 
Once you've been cold a while your body gets used to it, you feel warm again and you can fall asleep
 
You can drive as fast as you like when it's snowing really badly because the cops are busy dealing with accidents
 
This is GENUINELY RECEIVED bad life advice:

When driving, don't worry about indicating if you are going to turn.

Indicators are for other people to tell you where they are going.

You already know you are going so there is no need to indicate.
 
Your neighbours will be grateful if you help them be environmentally prudent, by looking through their trash and making suggestions.
 
It’s not a big deal, jump in. No one ever remembers this, but people just instinctually know how to swim.
 
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