Bad Random Life Tips.

[VoraciousValue]

Go to the Virgin Islands (British or U.S., doesn't matter). Stick your dick into the ground. Inform the nearest magistrate of what you did and that now the territory needs to be called the Deflowered Islands!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Play loud copywritten music when talking to your criminal partners if you suspect that they are wearing a wire. They can't play the audio in court and will have to throw out your case.

 

[Series 6]

Pop a few Viagra or Cialis pills before going to yoga class

 

[mnbreastluver]

You can't have a hangover if you're always drunk.

 

[stickygirl]

Tell an old person they might be wrong

 

[EdEc]

Tell an old person they might be wrong

I'm 77 and you have a good point.

 

[Series 6]

Use the blade of a butter knife to clean out electrical sockets

 

[DeckardNYC]

If you need to cover the smell of your weed from the kids, get a pet skunk.

 

[MrPractical]

Yell at old guys

 

[mnbreastluver]

Are you at the risk of a boogey man attack at night? Simply sleep with your face towards the wall, this is a power move and will scare the boogey man away.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When entering an elevator, immediately proceed to the back and face the wall. This action will make you seem distinguished and mysterious.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If someone is finally opening up to you about their depression, hijack their story and tell them why you’re more depressed instead.

 

[stickygirl]

Plan ahead by taking a whole bottle of paraceptomol today and have no headaches all month

 

[TwinkleStars]

When eating a sandwich, eat the crust. It will give you beautiful eyes.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Just before you kiss that special someone, eat a Habanero for some added hotness.

 

[JerseyJade]

Tic Tacs work great for getting rid of that slimy feeling you get in your mouth after you.... well you know what I mean.

 

[mnbreastluver]

To avoid a lost item being in the last place you look, continue looking for it after you have found it.

 

[TwinkleStars]

If your wife is hot, you should get them to a cooler environment and make sure they get plenty of fluids.

 

[TwinkleStars]

If you have insomnia smack a frying pan to your skull really hard and you'll have no problem falling asleep.

 

[TwinkleStars]

When going fishing, take a vacuum cleaner. Not only will you catch all the fish you want but you'll also leave the outside cleaner then when you found it.

 

[TwinkleStars]

During a thunderstorm always go outside naked while holding a metal rod. The neighbors will think you are so cool.

 

[Justadesperatewifeandmom]

Tired of getting dirty looks when staring at people when at the beach? Put on a lifeguard shirt and you can stare at whomever you'd like.

 

[TwinkleStars]

It's important to tell your spouse how fat and ugly they are so they take better care of themselves.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Are you depressed and need someone to talk to? Call any place that you owe money to. Ask for customer service because they love to help.

 

[JerseyJade]

Women: if a strange man comes up to you and says, "Hey baby, haven't I seen you before?" just answer, "I don't know. Do you watch porn?"