Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Add flex seal to your oil to stop it from leaking.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need extra cash!? Sell discarded face masks as “Vintage” for a 1500% mark up.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Sing a song to your crush about the enormous size of your genitals. Works every time!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Put your penis in a vise for added girth.

 

[stickygirl]

Releasing a butane gas filler down your peepee has numerous benefits: it makes your balls bigger, your dick stiffer and you can use your dick to light her cigarette

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want to swim in shark infested waters throw some guppy’s in first for the sharks to chase.

 

[mnbreastluver]

For a proposal: Tell your girlfriend you ate a screw and the doctor needs you to sift through your feces and see if it comes out over the next couple days. Actually swallow a ring. Conveniently break both your hands. Make her sift through the said fecal matter and find the ring. True love

 

[Misshotndeep]

Don't block any of your exes phone numbers. Their random messages may be useful in reuniting with them.

 

[fakingadulthood]

Get yourself hard, use a marker to write your email and phone number on the shaft of your cock and take a photo. Have business cards printed with a QR code on them that opens the dick pic. Apply for some jobs, provide your card to everyone you interview with when asked for your resume. Sit back and watch the job offers roll in!

 

[stickygirl]

Using a bar of soap instead of deodorant under your arms, tackles the problem at source: less washing needed; saves time. All wins

 

[mnbreastluver]

Clean meth isn’t bad for you. The impurities get you. So, boil it in water, run it through a Brita filter, pour the meth water back in the pot, and boil off the water. You’re left with just good clean meth for some family fun!

 

[Jada59]

Tell your BF that you have three other BFs as well.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Turn socks inside out to get an extra day of use from them.

 

[stickygirl]

Prosthetic feet don't need socks, they don't smell, they speed your progress through security checks and can be tailored to adjust your height. They may lead to you shooting your gf through a door but nothing is perfect

 

[Misshotndeep]

Tell him how many people really have slept with. He will appreciate your honesty

 

[DarkSimian]

Lonely? Write your name and number on the wall of the bathroom, and wait for the calls to roll in

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you can't get over someone, stab yourself in the leg. You will then only think about receiving medical attention.

 

[DarkSimian]

The Sexual Harassment seminar at work is a great place to pick up chicks

 

[mnbreastluver]

Only give homeless people counterfeit money, that way if they aren’t actually homeless they’ll get arrested for using it, but if they are homeless they’ll get arrested for using it and have access to free food, shelter, and a shower.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always secretly film during intercourse so that if you get accused of rape you have proof of consent.

 

[mnbreastluver]

She doesn’t want to swallow? Put it on a spoon and make airplane noises.

 

[Jada59]

Stuffing Lima beans up your nose will make you more attractive!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Conserve resources by re-using water you use to boil your ears of corn in. use it in other things like your morning coffee, ice cube trays, or throw it in a water bottle to hydrate throughout the day!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Did you know wrapping your leg in cabbage makes it smell like cabbage?

 

[stickygirl]

Win favour with your new gf by buying her a surprise kitten. Go to the cat pound and pick up five or six and ask her to choose her favourite