Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Wear a condom when you go on date. That way, if you get lucky, you won’t have to struggle to open a condom wrapper in the dark.

 

[baculum]

Condoms are like underwear, you can turn them inside out and wear them a second day.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are horny, drink a lot of water before you go to sleep so you will wake up with a fresh morning wood to attract your stepsister.

 

[stickygirl]

The rough sex defence is often used in court to excuse rape. Better to shoot him in the head and say it was self defence - the odds for conviction are about the same

 

[DarkSimian]

Lower your standards; eventually, you will find someone to do all that kinky shit you like

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you suspect you might have bought the chicken nuggets contaminated with rubber, try to bounce each nugget on the ground before you eat it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Try consuming a tiny amount of shit. Just enough to get a taste of it. That way you'll have the rights to non-metaphorically use the term "this thing tastes like shit"

 

[stickygirl]

Ladies, ever wondered what your cervix looks like? Use a condom filled with plaster of paris and take a mold of your vag. They make fascinating table decorations too

 

[DarkSimian]

Worried about catching an STD? Just douche with Purell

 

[stickygirl]

"You can't catch a STD if you do it standing up because it runs out" quotey quotes

 

[mnbreastluver]

if you want to stop being a homebody, do something illegal. Jail is a great place to face your fears!

 

[stickygirl]

Giving your girlfriend a pack of tampons on your first date is a great way to show you're a thoughtful, caring man

 

[mnbreastluver]

Drink 5 gallons of water every Monday so you don’t have to drink any for the rest of the week.

 

[stickygirl]

Leave an old fridge on your drive and challenge kids to see how long they can hide inside

 

[DarkSimian]

Want a lot of PMs from horny old men? Put "girl", "babe" or "woman" in your chat ID or profile

 

[baculum]

Want to be excused from jury duty? Show up for jury selection naked and ask everyone you meet for their address & phone number.

 

[sally_sparrow]

How can you tell if you’re really allergic to it unless you eat some more?

 

[DarkSimian]

Want time off at work? Tell your boss to go fuck themselves, you'll have plenty of time off

 

[sally_sparrow]

The best cure for poison ivy? Bleach.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your engine light come on pull over and disconnect the light behind the dashboard. This will save you HUNDREDS in repairs.

 

[baculum]

All vital automotive fluids can be replaced with ordinary tap water. Your car will last years longer and maintenance will be cheaper and easier.

 

[stickygirl]

Showing or sending a lesbian a dick pic will often make her change her mind and want to fuck men.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save money by not buying deodorant. It is no longer needed due to social distancing.

 

[Beardpositive77]

Van Gogh ate his oil paint, so you probably should too. It will make you a true artist.

 

[MrStooTheT]

Join this website lol