Bad Random Life Tips.

[Sweet_Lara]

Don't shovel your walk or drive; instead shovel your neighbor's sidewalk and drive and he might return the favor.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tired of using hand sanitizer several times a day? Save yourself some time by drinking an entire bottle of sanitizer to keep the germs at bay.

 

[asianmom42]

Tired of using hand sanitizer several times a day? Save yourself some time by drinking an entire bottle of sanitizer to keep the germs at bay.

Find the nearest water runoff and jump in and take a gulp. It'll relieve all those fears of coronavirus and the need to stand in line for tp and hand sanitizer.

 

[LinusRules]

The easiest way to get rid of a bee’s nest in your yard is to put your lawn mower over it and kill all the bees when they fly out.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you’re a germaphobe, start putting random animals into your soups. You may start a new strain of some supervirus, which will cause every media outlet in the world to constantly remind people to wash their hands.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Become a vigilante. The police like it when you do their job for them.

 

[shynerdgirl]

Remember: at least one dentist DOESN'T recommend toothpaste, and shouldn't we occasionally listen to the outsider?

 

[mnbreastluver]

If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down and is in need of help. Follow the dog and you'll get a free purse or wallet.

 

[stickygirl]

If you break wind a lot, pop a small plastic up your butt. Same smell but no give-away noise - blame the person next to you.

 

[stickygirl]

Men - if your female partner is giving you grief, maybe it's her period? Suggest you're having empathetic period pains and she'll calm right down.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are caught masturbating, do not stop. No one wants to be the guy who got caught masturbating. Make the other persons a pervert because they’re watching.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you’re conducting an intense surgery and feel your hand shaking, have the patients bed shaken to counteract your shaking hand.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Does your SO love watching Gordon Ramsay? The next time s/he cooks something, throw it against the wall and say, "It tastes like fucking shit!!!" to give the full Gordon experience.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you can't see in the dark, try using echolocation. Humans can learn and practice this skill by simply turning off the lights, screaming, and running at a wall. If you hit the wall, it means you need more practice.

 

[stickygirl]

Orgasms can be extended almost indefinitely using 9v DC current. Attach the negative to your clit or penis and the positive inside the anus. Time to dig out that train-set controller and have fun

 

[stickygirl]

Worried about being attacked on a bus or subway? Carry a pot of green slime and if you see trouble, scoop a handful and hold it to your nose. No one will trouble you

 

[stickygirl]

Horse riding along a highway can be dangerous. To warn the rider of your approach, sound you car horn, flash your lights and pass with care.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get a free pet of your choice. Post lost pets signs with your preferred animal, breed, and look. Someone else will do the work for you to find it and then they will contact you.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Avoid picking your nose. Instead, find someone who appears to be healthy and have them do it for you.

 

[EctoJohn]

Live life like me.
Best tip ever.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Sell your stuff on Amazon and buy it back to your new address when you're moving so you get free shipping to yourself. Just have orders over $35 for free shipping

 

[fisherfella]

Hop on a cruise ship, shake hands with the entire crew, have a wonderful buffet dinner and do the foam party in your underwear.***** is good!...hmm

 

[Varykino]

Don’t be a dick.

 

[sallycee]

Pop your cell phone into a glass of water to quickly magnify your screen!

 

[stickygirl]

Buying a vacuum pump for your dick will make it bigger and you will get more hot chicks