Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

You drank too much the night before? Eat some silica gel, it will absorb the alcohol in an instant.

 

[stickygirl]

Worried about social distancing during coronavirus? Tie razor blades to your golf or fishing umbrella and spin it as crowds approach

 

[stickygirl]

Gentlemen. If you want to get laid, but don't wish to cause offence, approach a woman and say "I can either hit on you or you can give me a dollar." You've given options, been respectful and will probably end up richer.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Sunscreen is overrated. Use cooking oil instead. Bonus; you'll taste better later when you get busy with your S.O.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Ever run for a bus only for it to pull away at the last moment? Take sweet revenge by running away when the next one arrives.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Apocalypse coming and that primordial need to stock up on toilet paper hits? Just buy a bidet and blast that ass clean with water.

 

[stickygirl]

If you're at the races, put bets on all the horses and one of them will win

 

[stickygirl]

If you're getting hungry but the cupboard is bare, go to the restroom of a mall and they'll have as much toilet paper as you can eat

 

[Guyblue82]

If you're getting hungry but the cupboard is bare, go to the restroom of a mall and they'll have as much toilet paper as you can eat

If you’re really lucky, they’ll have urinal cakes as well!

 

[Misshotndeep]

Lick people’s hands as a greeting. You’ll make all kinds of new friends this way.

 

[philos]

Lick people’s hands as a greeting. You’ll make all kinds of new friends this way.

Or be European and lick their face

 

[mnbreastluver]

Pretend that you’re Pepe Le Pew by painting a white stripe on your cats back and then sexually harassing it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

To thank your Dentist, lick or suck their fingers while they work on your mouth.

 

[Varykino]

Post honest comments in AmPics.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

Give away some of your album collection to your brother-in-law. He'll always be in the picture in case you want them back.

 

[stickygirl]

Be generous to your neighbourhood perv and leave some soiled panties on the line, with a note asking for them to be returned clean

 

[stickygirl]

Save on scarce toilet paper by using a desert spoon: it's hygienic and recyclable

 

[Guyblue82]

When conducting a video conference... Remember only half of you needs to be clothed... Flip a coin to help decide which half

 

[philos]

Is your phone’s screen dirty? Try using sandpaper

 

[mnbreastluver]

Put "Student Driver" stickers on your car so you can get away with being a piece of shit driver.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Need motivation to get healthy? Try bottoming. Receiving anal sex on a regular basis will force you to eat better, exercise more, drink more water, and monitor your poops to maintain a healthy butthole. These are all things you should be doing anyway, but the threat of an anal fissure will help you stay motivated.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Proper etiquette suggests you should bring enough for everyone, so make sure all your friends have whores next time there's a get together.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Pretend to set up an orgy where lots of people are invited, but really only invite your crush. When they show up, say that the other people are running late or canceled.

 

[kurrginatorX]

It is acceptable to call 9-1-1 if Popeye's runs out of their chicken sandwiches.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you are chopping onions and happen to get the tip of one of your fingernails, just cook the onions at a lower temp for a bit longer so the lost nail will soften and not be noticed in the meal.