Bad Random Life Tips.

[stickygirl]

Babies are slippery when wet. Before bathing them, attach a dog leash to their neck to effect safe and efficient recovery onto a comfy towel.

 

[stickygirl]

If you and your friends are lighting farts on the beach, remember that it's impolite to borrow from others. BYOM.

Shitting yourself in front of your chums will be a memory that keeps on giving

 

[VoraciousValue]

That baby seal is so cute and waiting for your cuddles.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Embark on a cruise right now - not only will it be extended, you'll be off work for weeks to come.

 

[philos]

Alcohol will solve all your problems

 

[mnbreastluver]

Nobody wants to talk to you? become a manager, people will beg and demand to talk to you.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Save time by washing dishes while you bathe.

 

[stickygirl]

Make friends with an anxious person, who'll be delighted to help keep your own finger nails trimmed by chewing them for you. A clear benefit to both

 

[stickygirl]

Saliva contains antibacterial and even anti-viral properties so spit on your hands in place of expensive alcohol wipes. Because you are expelling fluid, there's no risk of accidentally taking in Coronavirus.

 

[stickygirl]

Babies and small children are like sponges when it comes to attracting viruses and infections. Wear gloves and wring them out thoroughly before letting them in your house

 

[stickygirl]

Jesus knows our sins, so if you exclaim "Jesus Christ" when you see your neighbour's teenager bending over, Jesus will understand and so will her father

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you get robbed ask the person if they want a blowjob before they fuck you, it's only polite.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

The best way to bathe your cat is by sending it through the delicate cycle of your washing machine. Then tumble dry on low for best results.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you get a girlfriend that you really want to keep, every night while she is asleep, slap on a nicotine patch then remove it in the morning. That way, if she leaves you she will feel like shit, associate that feeling with leaving you, and come running back. You're welcome.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Ghost pepper oil makes a great lube, especially for anal

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to avoid touching your eyes, noise, or mouth with your hands? Play with a ghost pepper in your hands for 10 seconds after every time you wash them.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Want to exact revenge on your enemies? Add ghost pepper extract into their contact solution.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Dive into the shallow end of a pool to get a better parking spot everywhere.

 

[frustratedthoughts]

Impress your friends with a toenail clipping collection. They will be extra flattered if you clip their nails to add to it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want to drink more water consume a lot of hot sauce, you will never need to worry about dehydration again.

 

[Jada59]

Make your next party a big splash with some old fashioned punch. But make it healthy. Start by filling the bowl with V8 juice and add some surprises like canned peas and corn. Stir it all up with some celery sticks and leave them in uit for garnish. Give your guests edible cups. Cut the tops off of bell peppers, take the guts out and Voila! Food and drink all in one.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Not allowed to drink on the job? Drink as much as you can right before you clock in to make it last throughout your shift!

 

[stickygirl]

A good tip to reduce tyre wear is to drive faster in wet conditions. Riding on a layer of water means you save money

 

[stickygirl]

Mixing diesel oil and petrol ( gasoline ) in your tank means you get the best of both worlds

 

[mnbreastluver]

See a parking ticket on someone's windshield? Throw it away for them so they don't have to pay the fine. Doing good for others is its own reward.