Bad Random Life Tips.

[sally_sparrow]

If your tires are low, and it’s windy outside, take the caps off of all of them. They’ll fill up all by themselves.

 

[kurrginatorX]

If you stumble upon a crime scene, tidy up before calling 9-1-1. The cops will appreciate you getting rid of what you deem unnecessary clutter.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your new shoes are rubbing, sit on the toilet for so long that you don't feel your feet anymore.

 

[MsLead]

If you're having a bad day...be sure to let everyone know...so that it ripples out into the world.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Mail not delivered due to bad weather? Slap the hell out of the mail carrier and remind him or her of, "through rain, snow, sleet, or hail."

 

[stickygirl]

We know a cat leaving a headless mouse is a sign of love, so leaving a headless cat means even more love

 

[kurrginatorX]

We know a cat leaving a headless mouse is a sign of love, so leaving a headless cat means even more love

^I approve this message.^

Save the trees: Recycle your used toilet tissue by donating it to the less fortunate.

 

[stickygirl]

^

Teaching children to walk on the curbside improves their sense of balance

 

[barefootgirl69]

It's okay to hug a cactus, they need love, too.

 

[sally_sparrow]

If you want to sound more competent on a topic give your audience an unpopular opinion about the topic and your reason why and you'll sound like you really know your stuff

 

[MrPractical]

Vicks Vapo Rub would work...

 

[fisherfella]

Never connect an electrical appliance to less than 60 Amps service..

 

[TTawhere]

When shoveling snow, just ignore those fleeting cardiac signs you’re feeling - it is probably nothing.

 

[MrPractical]

Walking barefoot in snow will make your hair grow longer.

 

[Polranny]

*********

 

[sally_sparrow]

If you’re worried about getting germs from the public bathroom door handle just crawl under the stall.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Solicitors driving you crazy? Just mace them! Avon ladies, girl scouts, Jehovah's Witnesses, kids doing school fundraisers - show them just how much you hate being hassled with a faceful of mace!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Looking to have someone killed? Just contact the FBI. Their cadre of trained assassins are always there to help.

 

[Polranny]

Never take suppositories , for all the good they'll do you you might as well stick them up your arse

 

[mnbreastluver]

Worried about a burglar breaking in and stealing your money? Store everything in pennies. 10,000 pennies weighs over 50 pounds and is only 100 dollars.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Craving doughnuts but you just don't have the money? Simply visit your local Wal-Mart, grab a box of those jelly-filled delights and a soda, and make your way to the Automotive waiting room. No one will question you as you gorge yourself on the entire box.

My great-great grandpappy Jedidiah Baumgartner swears by this.

 

[stickygirl]

A simple way to re-heat cooling bath water is electrically: an ordinary bar-fire is best

 

[kurrginatorX]

If thy right hand offendeth thee, smack it silly with a wire hanger. That should teach it a lesson.

 

[BadAmy]

Butt stuff is not good.

 

[lilsarah91]

Save time by defosting a running car inside a closed garage. The heat will be contained inside the garage and your car will defrost twice as fast.