Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Save on shaving razors by jacking off frequently to reduce testosterone in your body.

 

[kurrginatorX]

If a comedian dies, it is perfectly acceptable to claim his material as your own. The burden of proof is on him.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Make sure your credit cards are always maxed, that way if your wallet ever gets stolen they won't be able to make any purchases on them.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Streaking across the field in the middle of an NFL playoff game will help your career.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Streaking across the field in the middle of an NFL playoff game will help your career.

Tackling a member of the opposing team while dressed as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in the middle of an NFL playoff game will help your career.

 

[sillysluttycouple]

Follow SD's example and get on meth!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Allow spiders and snakes to bite you so you can build a tolerance to their venom.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Show up to sporting events in a wheel chair so you can gain access to special seating. Once the event is over, calmly walk out. What are they going to do?

 

[mnbreastluver]

itchy throat? Just deepthroat your toothbrush and gag that itch goodbye.

 

[sillysluttycouple]

Visit North Korea, teach a class on tagging.

 

[Bjerget]

Pay someone else's taxes! They'll be so happy that they'll pay yours for you!

 

[kurrginatorX]

During your next interview, tell your prospective boss that one day you will be in his position. Show him pictures of you fucking his wife so he'll know just how dedicated you are to proving yourself correct.

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

During your next interview, tell your prospective boss that one day you will be in his position. Show him pictures of you fucking his wife so he'll know just how dedicated you are to proving yourself correct.

True story: I know of someone who showed up to an interview WITHOUT his resume as instructed to have with him, DEMANDED of the interviewer he is to have weekends off, BRAGGED of his managerial experience, EXPECTED better pay and the kicker was WOULD NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS THAN A LEADERSHIP POSITION.

Yes, that went well enough. He's still in the same position as before waiting for his big break.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you encounter a bear with cubs, take one of the cubs hostage so the bear can't attack you.

 

[MsLead]

Walk around in the dark...you will find the chairs and walls with your toes...

 

[blade_rocknut]

Always ask women with protruding bellies when they're due, as you reach to fondle the protrusion.
Pregnant chicks love that shit.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Stop signs are for losers! Floor and go!

 

[85Ironman]

Always ask women with protruding bellies when they're due, as you reach to fondle the protrusion.
Pregnant chicks love that shit.

Not as much as the ones who aren't pregnant.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Whenever in the presence of a midget, look around five feet or more in the air as you say, "This place must be haunted. I hear voices, but I don't see anyone."

 

[kurrginatorX]

Pick up and hold random midgets. They love that sort of thing.

 

[MsLead]

Never leave a tip...they've been expecting you not to the entire time

 

[Just4AFriend]

Never offer to go down on a woman, they hate that!

 

[mnbreastluver]

To all the men, if you're training your forearms with dumbbells or grips, make sure to focus on your non-dominant arm; it'll make it harder for others to tell how much you masturbate.

 

[fakingadulthood]

When ordering an Irish coffee, demand that it be green to honor the Emerald Isle and accept nothing else

 

[mnbreastluver]

Trouble sleeping? Leave the bathroom faucet running at night, make sure it’s flowing heavy enough to hear, and bam: babbling brook right down at the end of hall.