Bad Random Life Tips.

[sillysluttycouple]

Complete stagnation can keep you safe from injury!

 

[mnbreastluver]

When you go to sleep drunk, remember to put a plastic bag around your head so you don't get vomit all over your bed.

 

[burninlove]

STOP signs with a white border are optional.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Saving money with leftovers? Cook something slightly worse each day so you're more prone to eat the previous day's food. Continue until it's too nasty to eat. Rinse and repeat!

 

[DarkSimian]

After sex, wipe your dick off on the drapes or bedspread to mark your territory

 

[Jada59]

The stapler is your friend!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Not necessarily a life tip; just an observation:

The only thing more beautiful than a grandchild's smile when s/he comes to visit the grandparents is the grandparents' smile when that child finally goes back home.

 

[LurkingPhoenix]

Poison ivy makes for extremely comfortable bedding while camping.

 

[kurrginatorX]

(Staying with the theme of camping)

Hillbillies are wonderful people who just want to create close, personal relationships with you.

 

[DarkSimian]

When in doubt; whip it out. Run around, scream and shout

 

[kurrginatorX]

Dropping the soap and bending over to pick it up while in prison is a way to make new friends.

 

[kurrginatorX]

In order to get a bird's eye view of things, have your eyes surgically removed and a bird's eyes transplanted. For the record, based on size alone, an ostrich might be the best choice. Don't forget to post a pic.

http://dphclub.com/static/posts/2008-11/dphclub.com_1227350418_big_eyes_face.jpg

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want a special child marry your sister.

 

[sally_sparrow]

The nicest way to break up with someone is to set them up with a blind date

 

[Mav Unlimited]

Stop brushing your teeth daily and save on toothpaste.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Child doesn't want to take a nap? I've heard that placing a pillow over it's face for an extended period of time generally lulls the child to sleep.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Ensure your kitchen is nice and warm in the morning by leaving the oven on with the door open overnight.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Spend all of your money on golden retrievers because they can retrieve gold and make you rich.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Spend all of your money on golden retrievers because they can retrieve gold and make you rich.

(Another good one. )

The next time you want to go coo-coo for cocoa puffs, pick a random female and use her coo-coo.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Any pills are sleeping pills if you take enough of them.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Do you have kidney stones and don't want the pain of passing them? Donate your kidney!

 

[fakingadulthood]

While enjoying the snow, there is no more noble activity than roaming a public park searching out children making snow angels. When you find one, screa
“YOU’RE GOING TO HELL YOU MONSTER! YOU’VE GIVEN THIS ANGEL LIFE DESPITE KNOWING IT WILL MELT AND DIE IN THE SPRING THAW!”

 

[sally_sparrow]

Serve a hot oil fondue at your kid's birthday party if you don't want a lot of noise and running around.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Tired of people not listening to you when you speak? Suddenly develop Turrets Syndrome and speak your mind with the confidence that any and all will heed your words.

 

[Bjerget]

Give all of your love to one person and let the rest of the world burn around you. You don't need anyone else, anyway!