Bad Random Life Tips.

[OrLaTime]

Out of toilet paper? Use tampons

 

[witchydiana85]

Out of toilet paper? Use tampons

Watch who goes in and out of your elderly neighbours' apartment; if weeks go by with no visitors, you can safely kill them and take the property for yourself.

 

[Jada59]

Apple too sour? Take out your aggression and throw it at someone!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Mom or Grandma just make your favorite dessert and you don't want to share the leftovers? Sneak into the kitchen after midnight and eat them all up. If anyone asks, just tell them you have SRNED (Sleep-Related Nighttime Eating Disorder).

(This is a legit thing, and I used to have it. Oh, the stories I could tell)

 

[mnbreastluver]

You don’t have to wait til next Halloween to go to someone’s house in a scary mask and demand free things.

 

[Jada59]

Save money by doing your laundry at your neighbor's house.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Combine your dirty laundry with freshly washed clothes so your dirty laundry can smell clean again!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Fake your own death. During the funeral pop out of your casket made up as a zombie. Your family and friends won't kill you. Trust me on this one.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When you're in a public restroom and someone is repeatedly shaking the door nob, don't hesitate to yell "COME IN" to assert your dominance.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Enjoy the company of older women? Join Meals on Wheels to meet hot prospects.

 

[mnbreastluver]

For Christmas, get a stack of Christmas cards at the dollar store. Send one to all of your friends and family with the message "Merry Christmas! I've donated to the humane society in your name." Don't actually donate money, but buy yourself a gift with the savings!

 

[kurrginatorX]

For Christmas, get a stack of Christmas cards at the dollar store. Send one to all of your friends and family with the message "Merry Christmas! I've donated to the humane society in your name." Don't actually donate money, but buy yourself a gift with the savings!

I was actually going to post this one.

Remember that underwear can be worn four times before you change them: regular way, turn them 180 degrees, inside out, turn 180 degrees.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Plug a power strip into itself for infinite power.

 

[kurrginatorX]

When your girlfriend tells you that nothing is off-limits, she is giving you the okay to sacrifice her pet to the gods.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you suspect a male is having a heart attach, quickly try and give him an erection. This will pull dangerous blood away from the heart.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Plagiarism saves time!

 

[TTawhere]

If you want to dry your wet pet, wrap them in foil and put them in the microwave at the 50% setting for 10 minutes.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Out of liquor but desperately need a drink? Just mix rubbing alcohol with Kool-ade for a tasty treat.

 

[kurrginatorX]

It's okay to use a cane, crutches, or a wheelchair to gain sympathy. Shave your head to increase the level. Everyone loves cancer patients.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Whenever receiving an unwanted dick pic with something along the lines of "you like it?", instead of not replying or something, send a one back and say "it's kinda small, but you like mine?"

 

[kurrginatorX]

There is nothing wrong with eating the bloated carcasses of roadkill. Oh, and the maggots are just protein crystals, which are good for you.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Be your own tattooist: All you need are red, blue, and black Bic pens, a sewing needle, and a hand-drawn pattern.

 

[sally_sparrow]

If you're tired of having to boil water each night for cooking, freeze bottles of boiling water for future use. Problem solved!

 

[kurrginatorX]

If you're tired of having to boil water each night for cooking, freeze bottles of boiling water for future use. Problem solved!

Good one.

Want to go on a Bizarre Foods quest like Andrew Zimmern but you just can't afford the cost of globetrotting? Find Mr. Zimmern and cannibalize him. If one truly is what he eats, then he will be a cornucopia of surprising tastes sure to enliven the taste buds.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you don’t know how to fix your sink, or get someone to do it, go on pornhub to find the plumber on there to show you how to fix the sink.