Bad Random Life Tips.

[kurrginatorX]

Keep a penny on you at all times, that way you can never be able to say, "I'm completely broke."

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you have an Asian girlfriend, show her that you respect her cultural heritage by saying "Itadakimasu" before eating her pussy.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

If you have an Asian girlfriend, show her that you respect her cultural heritage by saying "Itadakimasu" before eating her pussy.

or compliment her on her yakitoris!

 

[sally_sparrow]

Don't study. If you've already gone through class, what's the point of re-learning it at home?

 

[mnbreastluver]

or compliment her on her yakitoris!

That too.

Eat a 3rd of your child's food before you let them eat to prepare them for taxes.

 

[sally_sparrow]

To make sure your cocaine is good, mix it with vinegar. I fit makes a volcano, it's baking soda. If not, your drugs are ruined .

 

[mnbreastluver]

Take your videos upside down to fool people into thinking you’re in Australia.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tinder is for rookies. Go to Facebook marketplace. Search for wedding dresses. It will show recent divorced women in your area. From there filter from dress size.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Check to see if your smoke detector works by lighting your house on fire.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Store bread in a bucket of water so it will not dry out.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Laughter is the best medicine, so there is nothing wrong with you wrapping chocolate laxatives in Hershey's Fun Size candies and laughing your ass off as your whole family fights to get into the bathroom.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you only use 10% of your brain, surgically removing the other 90% will boost your brain utilisation to 100%.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Want to raise a gender-neutral child who was born female? Have a penis surgically attached to her. She'll thank you later in life.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Open another credit card; it’s free money!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If another man let's you be friends with his SO, he either thinks you are gay or doesn't find you threatening enough. Assert your dominance by taking a shit on his lawn.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Educacion never did nobody no good.

 

[MrPractical]

Socks are important if yo dont like to wash your feet

 

[Mrtenant]

Apply a heavy lathering of antiperspirant on your hands before jerking or jilling off

 

[mnbreastluver]

Eat dental floss with every meal so that if you get constipated, all you have to do is pull it out.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Deploy toxic gas balloons on your enemies by using farts to blow bubbles.

 

[Xerxes82]

Condoms are more comfortable if you remember to leave holes for your dick to breathe.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can’t afford school? Scrape together enough money to fly to China, then insult the government. They’ll put you into one of their amazing re-education camps free of charge!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Winter months got you down? Trick your body into thinking it's summer by rubbing ghost peppers all over yourself.

 

[EmpressJosephine]

Put some Windex on it.

 

[sally_sparrow]

If you don't remember the name of the person you slept with the night before just take them to Starbucks.