Bad Random Life Tips.

[Shi_One81]

Believe everything someone says about someone else, especially if they don’t know them.

 

[TTawhere]

Can’t decide whether you need bleach or ammonia to clean? Mix them all to make an all-purpose cleaner.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Fill your condom up with water before using it to check for holes.

 

[sally_sparrow]

If servers' don't hear you the first time, it's always their fault. Don't leave a tip and don't repeat yourself.

 

[Corbal]

When cutting bagels in half, put your finger through the stabilization hole to keep it steady.

This was fucking brilliant.

 

[kurrginatorX]

After boarding a plane, if you spot your friend Jack in one of the seats, it's perfectly acceptable to yell, "Hi Jack!" at the top of your lungs.

 

[sally_sparrow]

If your friend is jumping off a bridge, it's probably because he knows something that you don't... So go ahead.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want to look hot in front of your crush, dump a steaming pot of soup over your head.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Guys, you don't have to wear a condom the first time you are with a woman because she can neither get pregnant nor spread disease the first time out.

 

[NeonSubtlety]

Edited.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When preparing/splitting cocaine, use your health insurance card (instead of a credit card) so if you OD or need medical assistance all your information is right with you.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Strike a match in every room to locate a suspected gas leak.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Tired of wasting money on black nail polish? Smash your fingers in doors to get long lasting black nails.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Lard is Nature's cooking oil. Use it generously.

 

[sally_sparrow]

If life is getting too hard, just give up.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Want to stay warm during the winter but are too cheap to buy heating? Just inject antifreeze into your veins!

 

[kurrginatorX]

Be glad your parents are already dead or they'd be dying right now of shame over how you turned out.

 

[Sweet_Lara]

these are hilarious

Want to save on your electric bill? Unplug your refrigerator at night -- huge energy sucker.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Frustrate robbers by sealing valuables in clamshell packaging.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Get rich quick by giving your financial information to the prince of Nigeria.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Can’t afford a full carpet? Glue carpet samples to your feet and feel that lush feeling with every step around your house.

 

[sally_sparrow]

If you feel alone, watch a horror movie right before bed. You won't feel alone anymore.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Add viagra to concrete when building a building to make sure your building
stays erect. Add double in earthquake zones.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Children acting up? Begin posting selfies of you with random kids on social media and talk about how much you love your real family.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Every problem can be solved by avoidance.