Bad Random Life Tips.

[enQji]

Call your black friend "n*ggah". It's ok, we say that to eachother all the time. And if the "h" at the end sounds weird to you, go ahead use the hard R. Nobody really cares.

 

[Baldo_bearded]

Late in the morning and in a hurry? Your windshield really only need a 2 inch "visor scrape" to be perfectly functional.

 

[LeSabreur]

You really, really don't need to pull out when she says that. The odds of an "accident" are a million to one.

 

[latecomer91364]

Never underestimate the ability of your face to put out a campfire.

Just ask Fire Marshall Bill.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If there are scary lights lighting up your car's dashboard, just put post it notes on them. If you can't see the warning lights the problems aren't real!

 

[LeSabreur]

If it burns when you pee, just drink more water...you'll be fine.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Guys, when your woman says “We need to talk,” remind her that sex is more fun and ask “Can we fuck instead?” Sex guaranteed.

 

[LeSabreur]

If you sneak a bumper sticker on your wife's car that says "Do Me In The Butt," you will have the most hilarious stories to tell!

 

[angelofthenorth]

When life gives you lemons, be thankful it wasn't syphilis

 

[ericalauren]

Someone once told me to lie to the DMV about my height. He told me to say that I’m two inches taller than I actually am. So weird.

 

[Mrtenant]

Always hug people while sporting a boner. Everyone loves it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

The only way to get rid of a white wine stain is to pour red wine on it.

 

[LeSabreur]

You want the thrill of a lifetime? Drive 100 miles per hour while getting your wing-wang sucked and try not to spill your drink.