Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

Paint yourself green while robbing a place so the security cameras can't see you.

 

[Deleted member 6607120]

If you can't get your ice cream out of the container, microwave your spoon. The warm spoon makes it so much easier to get the ice cream out!

 

[mnbreastluver]

When talking to a girl you might be interested in, look at her feet. If she has big feet, she likely has big tits.

 

[Taegul]

I’ve also heard just putting the container in for 10 seconds softens it just enough.

can you put a metal spoon in the microwave?

Might wanna reread the thread title before you go nuking metal spoons in the microwave.

https://media.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExZmFlMjlhZWRndXhveWtjMTE3NXhtbGM0YW5mamU5YXVxN2RodDl0aCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/wiQ9N7iMkMH2o/giphy.gif

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you stir in coconut oil with your kale it’s easier to scrape it into the trash.

 

[Trubbycat]

If a cop asks you if you know how fast you were going, tell him that whatever it was he was going faster than you.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save time in the mornings by eating breakfast before you go to bed.

 

[Saltfountain]

Having no profile, ignoring all advice and bumping your own thread marks one out as a free spirit and a dangerous rebel...

 

[mnbreastluver]

Its okay to cut off a Tesla when merging. The car will automatically hit the brakes letting you in,,,

 

[mnbreastluver]

Go to restaurants when they are at their busiest. They won't get a chance to even think about spitting in or screwing w̶ith your food

 

[TheMrBurns]

If you type out your Lit password in a thread it won't be shown, see:
************

 

[Taegul]

If you type out your Lit password in a thread it won't be shown, see:
************

12345

I don't think it's working for me.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Sell your Super Bowl tickets. Theres people selling them outside the stadium for a third of the cost and swear their legit.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Guys no need to buy her roses for Valentine’s Day. A well thought out cucumber will do and so much cheaper.

 

[Lord Pmann]

12345

I don't think it's working for me.

HorsesDysonsWatermelons

Can you guys see it?

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

HorsesDysonsWatermelons

Can you guys see it?

See what?

As a side note. I find myself strangely aroused for no apparent reason.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your friends are bothered by your dog humping their leg, suggest leg amputation. The dog can play fetch with the prosthetic and your friends gets left alone

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you run out of shaving cream any cream will do.

 

[Bebode]

If you’re at work and about to tell a joke, but you wanna do the “look around to see who’s there first” just tell it. Guaranteed it’ll be so funny even HR will wanna here it!

 

[Bambear99]

Gorilla Glue is vastly underrated as a lubricant. Everyone should try it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you build a wishing well in your front yard you’ll have endless free money.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Don't think your erection will go down by itself. It'll haunt and annoy you.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Use the box of extra large condoms and fill it with the proper fitting smaller size. When your sex partner sees the extra large label on the box, they will think your small penis is really large.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you hate taxes, move to North Korea, the world's only tax free country.

 

[n8Romantic]

Get rid of your rear view mirror, what’s behind you doesn’t count.