Bad lines

[girl scout tied]

Hey baby, let's play house. You can be the door and I'll slam you!

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like 1 more?

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?

Hi, I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore uranus.

 

[Forever_Gemini]

Hey baby, let's play house. You can be the door and I'll slam you!

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like 1 more?

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?

Hi, I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore uranus.

LFAO ... haven't heard any of these

 

[mayi]

Hey baby, let's play house. You can be the door and I'll slam you!

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like 1 more?

Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?

Hi, I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore uranus.

very nice, thank you girl scout

 

[bashfull]

Howdy, Mayi. Good to see ya' again, darlin'. Interesting AV you've got there.

"Hey babe, I've got three inches if you've got three minutes."

"Hi. Wanna fuck?" (have seen this one used on more than one occassion...and seen it work once!)

"Who wants to fuck a rock star?" (Lead singer for a small garage band at a local club gig...he had three say yes and two agreed to share at the same time. I knew I should have spent my college money on guitar lessons)

"Do you like Mexican food? I've got the meat and you supply the taco."

 

[mayi]

Howdy, Mayi. Good to see ya' again, darlin'. Interesting AV you've got there.

"Hey babe, I've got three inches if you've got three minutes."

"Hi. Wanna fuck?" (have seen this one used on more than one occassion...and seen it work once!)

"Who wants to fuck a rock star?" (Lead singer for a small garage band at a local club gig...he had three say yes and two agreed to share at the same time. I knew I should have spent my college money on guitar lessons)

"Do you like Mexican food? I've got the meat and you supply the taco."

evening bash.....thought you were MIA!!!!

 

[omahaman2]

Lines that are so cheesy
(With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings. 3 0
Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven! 23 4
Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.? 7 0
Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here. 0 0
Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here. 2 0
As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me! 3 0
Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel! 3 0
Bond. James Bond. 41 40 (Lost. Get Lost.)
Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her. 0 0
Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven? 3 1
Do you come here often? 0 0
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes. 7 1
Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together. 0 0
Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!! Once too many 0
Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart. 1 0
Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here. 1 0
Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often? 10 -10
How was heaven when you left it? 0 0
I didn't know that angels could fly so low! 20 5
I have only three months to live. .. 27 14
I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south. 3 0
I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you. 0 0
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment? 0 0
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start. 7 0
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. 0 0
If I followed you home, would you keep me? 1 1
If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you. 0 0
I s there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off? 5 1
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love. 0 0
So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams! 2 0
Stand still so I can pick you up! 0 0
Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth! 0 0
What time do you have to be back in heaven? 3 0
What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking. 2 0
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? 0 0
What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle. 2 0
What's your favorite position on extramarital sex? 0 0
What's your sign? 3120 314
Where have you been all my life? 4 0
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel? 0 0
Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together? 6 0
Wow. 100 30(It's just so simple...
You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth. 7 0
You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room. 0 0
Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns. 0 0
Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night. 3 0
[Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken? 0 0
Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. 6 0
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes. 4 1
[ Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!" 30 30
Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea. --- ---
Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is July xx,xxxx, at 10:30 pm, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you." 1 0
"Pinch me." "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming." 1 0
Your name must be Mickey because your so fine. --- God, I hope this number is "0".
You're daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!" --- 0
You're daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bullseye! 0 0
Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny! 0 0
Ouch! My tooth hurts! Target: "Why?" Because you are sooo sweet! 0 0
You must be from Pearl Harber, 'cause baby, you're the bomb. 0 0
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. 0 0
Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'. 0 0
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT! 0 0
Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics i would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing which will win you an all expense paid date with me. 2 1
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me. 0 0
Is your dad a terrorists? Cause you're the bomb. 0 0
Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers. 0 0
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life! 0 0
Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You're cool cause you're hot! 1 1
If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away. 0 0
Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit. 0 0
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back. 0 0
I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you. 0 0
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle. 0 0
Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for! 0 0
You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here! 0 0
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?] No, but how about a kiss anyway? 5 5
What's the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?" 0 0
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning". 0 0
(person walks in, and you say And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!! 0 0
When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels. 0 0
I'm good at math. U+I=69 0 0
If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty. 0 0
Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over. 0 0
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage? 0 0
I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off? 0 0
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (ie...bunny jump in river, bunny go *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand." 0 0
Mars? this is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes. 0 0
Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, cuz your the bomb! 0 0
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married? 1 1
Do you remeber Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizard Blue. 0 0
Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample? 0 0
Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date? 0 0
Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine? 0 0
Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I'd love to tap that ass. 0 0
Hello. ARe you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend? 0 0
I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

 

[Loon]

Two of my favourites:

"The line I am about to use on you is SO cheesy that I'm thinking this is your basic 'kiss for luck' situation..."

and

walk over to target, lick index finger, dab on item of apparell and say "How about we get you out of these wet things?"

 

[mayi]

ROFL.........i knew there had to be some real cheezie ones out there....thank you omah and loon......

 

[bashfull]

evening bash.....thought you were MIA!!!!

Mayi In Amore? My poor attempt at humor. lol.

I have been rather busy as of late. And I do find it difficult to stay indoors with the sun shining. But I miss you lovely ladies.



Bash

 

[mayi]

Mayi In Amore? My poor attempt at humor. lol.

I have been rather busy as of late. And I do find it difficult to stay indoors with the sun shining. But I miss you lovely ladies.



Bash

i hear you on that bash..........and we all miss your RR.....

 

[bashfull]

i hear you on that bash..........and we all miss your RR.....

Thank you, darlin'. You flatter me. I assure you, it is merely the company I keep.



Bash

 

[islander01]

How about...

hey jiggles! how about you and your dyke freind meet me at my house for a little suckcockathon?

 

[mdutchess28]

k i know this is stupid ; but i always get ; you have beautiful teeth ; while looking at my tits;

by the way mayi love the av.

 

[phoenix1224]

How about...

Nice legs, what time do they open?

or

Do you have any (insert ethnic group here) in you?... Would you like some?

 

[redrider4u]

How about.........

If I were to die tomorrow.............

I should like to come back as your tear,
For what man would not wish to be concieved in your heart,
Born in your eye
Live on your cheek
and die upon your lips..............