B-movie ideas

[Strangebuddy]

I was reading Dark Horse's Grindhouse comics and thought of a fun idea. Essentially, I thought it would be fun if we each pitched a B-movie/Grindhouse style story. If you see an idea you like, feel free to comment as normal but please take a shot at throwing out your own wacky idea.

An example to get things started:

LESBIAN BEE WOMEN FROM MARS VS. THE GIRLS FROM GANYMEDE

BEWARE! Those horrible insectine ladies have returned and they've come for our women! Spreading throughout the southwest, the Bee women have assimilated one vivacious vixen after another and are quickly moving North. The only thing that stands in their way is Professor Honeypot, played by Vivica Vixen, and her on/off lover Sergeant Fineass, a rough and tumble daddy's girl...if by daddy's girl we mean a woman who carries around a sixteen-barrel shotgun...that's also a rocket launcher...that also has a flamethrower.

However, as these Double delicious women get ready to fight off the Martian menace, a new threat emerges. Rising from their underground lust pools, the women of Ganymede fly towards Earth to get their own share of Earth's booty. Their moon might be cold but theses women are anything but frigid. Their toned bodies provide a soft touch in the bedroom...right before they drain their lovers blood! These glamorous monsters will fight for their share of Earth's beauties even if they have to march their way through the Bee Women's clothes melting honey and fight them in the nude.

However, none of this will prepare you for the climax where the Bee Women unleash their 60 foot behemoth of a queen to wrestle the Ganymede Girl's Giant Grappler. These two collossi will take their fight through the Nation's Pudding and Gelatin factory before settling their match on top of the world's largest Sybian.

If you like to watch gorgeous women prance about in poor costumes waiting for their cue to strip and make love, this is story for you! If you like tons of action happening in brief narration (except for the 16-barrel shotgun...we don't care how impractical it is, that thing's getting fired off like every other paragraph), this story is for you! And if you like people in lab coats standing around talking about stuff that you already read about...then we're here for you you kinky, kinky, freak.

...okay, one more:

It's hard being in prison. It's even harder when you go there for murdering the guy who tried to rape your mother and sister and brother and father and grandmother and however many relatives it takes for the reader to feel like it was justified. It's super hard when your cell-mate is the cop who put you away and you have to work with them to find the President's daughter, who is hidden in the prison by terrorists who will take down the prison and everyone in it if their demands aren't met.

Oh, and did I mention that the prison is in space...like outer..******? You're damn right it is...and it's orbiting a Black freaking Hole. Oh and you know shit's about to get intense when shit's set around a black hole.

Shit, does in fact, get serious, as the Terrorist's demands aren't met and the prison starts going towards the black hole. Now you have to find the off switch and only 1 out of the 300 prisoners have it...where the sun doesn't shine.

So as you round up the 300 prisoners you have to ask yourself an important question:

Do you take THE BACK DOOR OR THE BLACK HOLE?

Film has been rated PG for Pretty Gratuitous.

Okay, your all's turns.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I like the concept but unless we're gonna get enough authors for a Chain Story I really fail to see the point at least as a story idea. It may make for an interesting game which would probably belong. . .maybe in the authors hangout? I honestly don't know.

 

[lovecraft68]

Having been raised on creature double feature I'm a huge schlock/b-movie aficionado and think this is a fun idea.

But I agree with Sean that I'm not sure how much play it would get. Those things are an acquired taste and you have to really appreciate them to capture the right feel and most people aren't into them.

Great original idea though.

Now if I wee going to do one it would be....and this is for Sean.

The renegade rapist revenger from regional Rhode Island. (Stan Lee would be so proud of that alliteration)

Fed up with endless non consent ideas and the abuse of women an obnoxious erotica writer gathers like minded people together to invade the non consent section, tie down all the authors and readers and read them femdom stories until they beg for a merciful death!

This goes on until their leader-LJ Reloaded-is finally captured and forced to read feminist blogs until his eyes bleed.

 

[Strangebuddy]

Fair enough and if it would be better in another area of the forum, that's fine.

As for your idea LC, I like it but shouldn't the regular deaths be eye-bleeding and gouging out their ears? What if LJ Reloaded instead was forced to watch until he exploded into a splash of viscera and blood?


As for another pitch:

PRINCESS OF THE UNIVERSE

It is an age of chaos, an age where men paint themselves green and tear the clothes off of buxom women and children do not exist. It is an age of madness where Clay monsters terrorize their victims at a distance.

From this world comes princess Andromeda, who garbed only in her silver bikini must find the sword of Mind Truths to defeat the Lord of Evil known only as Evil Lord. With her sworn protector...Protector, played by Rex Hardchisel, she will travel from sandy dunes to the most dangerous gravel pits known to man. Their only other help being Bit-Bit, Andromeda's comically wackish robot assistant.

Whoops wasn't supposed to tell you but this story is actually set in the future...like, laser gun future...but there's also magic. Such as the scene where Sorceress (evil Lord's sorceress) summons clones of herself to grapple with Andromeda and Protector in the cursed oil pits.

Thrill as our heroes travel to the sacred sand dune and receive the sword, letting them kill Evil Lord with a single thought...aww, crud, now I've gone and spoiled the ending. Well there's still a scene where they have to comfort the now nude previously mentioned buxom women...that makes up for the anticlimatic ending, right?

Be sure to also check out KILLER CLOTHES FROM OUT OF TOWN

You dress up for a date.

You dress up when you go to work.

You dress up when you go to your cousin's wedding.

But as this small town is about to discover, the only one they'll be dressing to impress is the grim reaper!

When a meteor explodes above the world's largest clothes manufacturer, no one could ever expect that that the clothes would take on murderous tendencies. Now an unsuspecting populace is about to be strangled by their sleepwear, grappled by their garters, and bound by their bikinis!

Now, the town's nudists and strippers will have to convince the town to bare it all, or watch as these bits of cloth conquer the world!

 

[Sean Renaud]

Let me rephrase since I was a bit unclear.

First I like this concept and think it would a fairly brilliant Chain Story to have. At that point the first real step (IMO) is to set the stage. It could be about a Drive In theature that shows these schlock flicks and all the stories start there before "entering" the movie. Similarly you could do the Tales from the Crypt method where there is a story teller who introduces the tale before diving in. Or you could always go the Sin City route and they all happen in said city but for the most part the characters either don't or barely interact.

As it stands us sitting around pitching bad ideas is a tad pointness ne?

But I think it would make an entertaining game. Each person pitches a scenario and the next person pitches a "solution" followed by a new scenario. IT's basically derivative of the corrupt a wish make a wish game. If you've never played it looks like this.

LC: I wish all the authors of Non-Con had to experience their stories first hand.
SR: Granted, all stories come true now including all the things your EX thought about you when you dumped her. I wish I was rich.
SB: Granted. Selling the oil your organization has acquired in the Middle East you are now a billionaire. President Ted Nugent has located your mountain stronghold. I wish. . .

 

[lovecraft68]

LC: I wish all the authors of Non-Con had to experience their stories first hand.

Well whenever one of us makes it to the others coast, the first drink will be to that. The rest will be to....anything we can make up and I bet we can make up a lot of stuff

 

[Sean Renaud]

But I don't survive all those stories! Actually I guess I must get reincarnation as a required super power to put up with all that shit.

 

[lovecraft68]

But I don't survive all those stories! Actually I guess I must get reincarnation as a required super power to put up with all that shit.

Yup, you're trapped in the lit version of ground hog day.

BTW...my middle finger piece to the non consent crowd can be found in the Halloween contest. Abigail=22 lit pages of fem fatale mayhem.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I could deal with Groundhog day. Especially since at least one of them involves me defeating Cthlulu.

 

[lovecraft68]

I could deal with Groundhog day. Especially since at least one of them involves me defeating Cthlulu.

I know him....well at least everyone here thinks I do due to the name

Personally I'm a Shub-Niggurath kind of guy. With Azatoth a close second.

 

[Sean Renaud]

As long as you keep Yig from finding me we're cool. Apparently snake skin boots are tots not cool in his book.

 

[lovecraft68]

As long as you keep Yig from finding me we're cool. Apparently snake skin boots are tots not cool in his book.

Then I suggest you stay close to Yog Sototh, the travel agent of the great old ones, those portals come in handy for quick escapes.

But I don't suggest the Yuggoth trip, nasty place and those mind stealing bugs....

 

[Sean Renaud]

I'm not a fan of portals. . .or really anything where I can see where I'm going. I don't even stick my hand where I can see much less my whole self.