AwkwardMD
The worst Buddhist
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AwkwardMD and Omenainen Review Thread
- Thread starter AwkwardMD
- Start date
Maria_McGeorge
Virgin
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I agree with the above, I really enjoy reading your reviews and I learn a lot from them.
I’ve really missed them, hopefully more people will submit themselves for review!!
I’ve really missed them, hopefully more people will submit themselves for review!!
Bramblethorn
Sleep-deprived
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Just think of all the money you're saving, living rent-free in avery's head!
NotWise
Desert Rat
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I think AMD gives us intelligent and insightful observations, which is why I've asked for her opinion more than once. The people who are full of crap are the ones who can't take feedback from people who are probably smarter then they are.
You know what really bugs me? I think some male writers can't stand a woman commenting on their erotic writing. They expect a woman to babble about how good they are, not to give them critique.
Some male authors seem to think that women reading their stories should lay back and take it, the way they want them to. Get a spine. Borrow one if you have too. Read AMD's comments and -- whether you like it or not -- learn from them.
NotWise
Desert Rat
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Damn. I could have checked that.
SimonDoom
Kink Lord
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I believe, strongly, that the "authority" or background of a person on social media forums don't count for much. Arguments stand or fall on their own. I try not to make assumptions about the background or education of people who contribute here, since I don't know, and even if they tell me I don't know if they're telling the truth. I don't always agree with AMD's commentary, but it's interesting, and it's interesting regardless of whether AMD considers herself well-read or not. It definitely adds value to this forum.
No one should ever feel shy about offering their two cents about a story just because they don't think they have the proper background. If you can read a story, that's all the background you need.
No one should ever feel shy about offering their two cents about a story just because they don't think they have the proper background. If you can read a story, that's all the background you need.
Thank you for that last posting.
I was beginning to think I had stumbled into a Donald Trump press conference, where opinions are answered by misinformation (the poster is a man) and personal insults (get a spine).
The people who post that stuff detract from an otherwise useful thread.
I was beginning to think I had stumbled into a Donald Trump press conference, where opinions are answered by misinformation (the poster is a man) and personal insults (get a spine).
The people who post that stuff detract from an otherwise useful thread.
Saffyre
Virgin
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I’ve played lots of ball sports in my life, which obviously have changed as I’ve got older, with a reasonable degree of success. Without appearing egotistical, or perhaps appearing egotistical, the level I achieved in all of them, although not fantastic, was above average. But I would never, as with the guy in your story, ever be able to teach and this explains why.
I was batting in a cricket match (now you realise I’m English) and one of the opposition gave me a compliment. “You must have a good eye for the ball,” he said. As I stood there, preening myself with pride, I was somewhat deflated when he followed up his compliment with, “because your style is crap.!”
BarracudaSwordfish
AI Free Zone
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Had the very same thing except it was in practice and one of my own teammates. He was a double-barrelled arse with an Oxbridge degree and thought he was God's gift. He also bowled at the speed of light and I still remember the look on his face when I took a one handed slip catch off him while horizontal to the ground
MetaBob
Literotica Guru
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Ted Williams. He tried.
Part of the problem was that the only franchise he managed was notoriously terrible ('the doormat of the American League,' to paraphrase Steve Goodman), but in his first season (of four) as manager, he actually raised them to their first and only winning record as the Washington Senators, and his only winning record as a manager. He then moved with them for one season as they became the Texas Rangers, where they remain.
He only appeared in one World Series where he batted just .200 despite being the most dominant hitter of his generation and winning his first MVP award; days before that series began, he got hit on the elbow by a pitch in an exhibition game. That, and the fact that the American League was stacked with teams that were routinely stronger (usually the New York Yankees), was the real tragedy of his career.
John Roseboro, who played for Williams one year said (in the SportsCentury documentary), "He was a great, great hitting teacher, but he was the most stubborn son of a bitch I've ever seen in my life. He just didn't care for the rest of the ball game. We'd lose. We had no meetings, we had no going over the mistakes we made. By the time sportswriters got from upstairs downstairs to interview him, he was gone."
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RandyD1369
Experienced
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AMD, it's good to see you back. We've missed you.
B
b7ffh1
Guest
Daniella and the Lions
AMD,
It has been almost a year since you reviewed my first story. Since then, you have reviewed other stories of mine as well. I really appreciate your feedback, especially about trying to make it feel real and not just a puppet show with a pre-defined outcome.
I have recently written a new story
https://www.literotica.com/s/daniella-and-the-lions
Daniella and the Lions
and I would love your feedback.
It is, like my other stories, ENF and CMNF, and you have done others of mine, so if you would rather not, I understand.
Thanks,
B7ffh
AMD,
It has been almost a year since you reviewed my first story. Since then, you have reviewed other stories of mine as well. I really appreciate your feedback, especially about trying to make it feel real and not just a puppet show with a pre-defined outcome.
I have recently written a new story
https://www.literotica.com/s/daniella-and-the-lions
Daniella and the Lions
and I would love your feedback.
It is, like my other stories, ENF and CMNF, and you have done others of mine, so if you would rather not, I understand.
Thanks,
B7ffh
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2018
- Posts
- 874
Wanted to add a quick, but heartfelt thank you to AMD who tore apart a story last year and made me reflect and think so much more about my writing. It really helped.
EddieTheMuse
Virgin
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- Jun 8, 2015
- Posts
- 20
Sorry
Last edited:
AwkwardMD
The worst Buddhist
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2014
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- 2,871
Daniella and the Lions, by b7ffh1
Link
Okay. So.
Daniella and the Lions is... fine. It’s the best written story you’ve had me read, from a technical standpoint. It’s telling the most complex story you’ve served up yet. You stepped outside of your medical examination comfort zone. Kudos for trying something new...
...but...
Daniella and the Lions is a story that really shouldn’t be on Lit. It doesn’t adhere to the “She has to like it” rule for noncon. Whether or not this is a good rule is certainly debatable, but there’s really no case here for Daniella enjoying what’s happening to her. She’s being sexually assaulted in public, and she’s enduring it to avoid worse. In this case, worse is certainly rape, and it’s implied that its gang rape. That’s what’s on her mind. That’s what a person would be thinking about every time they allow something like this to continue. Whether or not the body has a physical reaction is not the same thing as enjoyment.
I’m not here to police Lit. I’m not reporting your story. That’s not what I do. I’m simply telling you that this story shouldn’t have made it through to posting, and there’s not a lot you could do without rewriting it completely to fix it.
In my opinion, you shouldn’t rewrite this. I think you should spend some time thinking about what you wrote here, because this is sexual assault. This is ENF in the same way that sex with a 12 year old is just pre-legal. A flashy label doesn’t change what it is.
You might be thinking to yourself “I know what this story is! I wrote it!” Allow me to elucidate.
As we’ve discussed here before, the CMNF kink is about power. The way you’ve written this before, there’s voyeurism (read: power) with a splash of shame and/or cuckoldry for the male protagonist while the female is stripped of her clothes (read: power). The stakes were low, though. Nobody was going to get hurt. The worst that happened was that some people were embarrassed, or got an eyeful/handful. That’s relatively harmless, and in at least one case (I forget which) the woman learned that she kind of liked being looked at by strangers.
CMNF is “I have privacy, and you don’t. I have clothes and you don’t. You have vulnerability, and I don’t. You are exposed and I’m not.” That’s a dynamic. In Danielle and the Lions, the narrator is non-existent. He relates some details about Daniella relatively, through things like ‘My wife went to the village”, but that seems to serve more for variety and the avoidance of word repetition (rather than using ‘she’ and ‘her’ and ‘Daniella’ all the time). It would be easy to change this story into a third person story so that Daniella goes to the unnamed African country alone and meets Mr. Brooks, her contractor/bodyguard. The narrator is a non-entity. He has very few feelings about what’s going on, and the feelings he has are obvious and expected. Someone is touching his wife. He doesn’t like it. Nothing he thinks or says or feels or does matters in the story, so for all intents and purposes he doesn’t exist.
That leaves Daniella and the police chief. He is technically clothed, and she is technically naked, but that’s how a lot of rape goes. The fact that he doesn’t quite make it to penetrating her changes little, as the intent was clearly there and clearly communicated, and it was something she feared. This isn’t a kink. It’s rape. You wrote a rape. You wrote a story about a woman enduring a harrowing experience for the specific purpose of people being able to read it and jerk off to it.
This story hates Daniella. It sets her up as capable and intelligent, building her up, for the specific purpose of being a better target to knock down. The readers who read this, who look for this, they’re looking for a woman to hate, and to objectify, and feel better about themselves because she has been made lesser. That’s not a kink, that’s pornographic misogyny.
Sex is something that happens between two (or more) people. One does not have sex by oneself; that’s masturbation. It’s self-gratification. Kink is a colloquial catch-all for non-normative sexual behavior, but it should be understood as being some variation on sex. Rape is not sex, because the victim isn’t partaking in something of their own free will. Rape is closer to gratification at someone elses expense, and that’s what we have here. Your readers are getting off at someone else’s expense, and the fact that she isn’t real doesn’t change that they (and, likely, you) got off to it.
A lot of interracial erotica on Lit is doing something very similar (looking at you, silkstockingslover). Mommy's First BBC is not kinky, it’s racist. Deeply, deeply racist. Why would it be taboo to fuck a black guy? Oh right, the racism. It objectifies, victimizes, and degrades the men it portrays, and contributes to pervasive and damaging stereotypes. It punches down by fetishizing a minority, and it’s cheap. Lyndon Johnson, former US President, once said, "If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." Daniella and the Lions is doing the same thing to women.
This is the one thing you write. All of your stories are about stripping women of power and abusing them to one extent or another. Your writing comes off like someone desperately trying to convince yourself and others that there’s someone lower than you. You should spend some time with that.
Link
Okay. So.
Daniella and the Lions is... fine. It’s the best written story you’ve had me read, from a technical standpoint. It’s telling the most complex story you’ve served up yet. You stepped outside of your medical examination comfort zone. Kudos for trying something new...
...but...
Daniella and the Lions is a story that really shouldn’t be on Lit. It doesn’t adhere to the “She has to like it” rule for noncon. Whether or not this is a good rule is certainly debatable, but there’s really no case here for Daniella enjoying what’s happening to her. She’s being sexually assaulted in public, and she’s enduring it to avoid worse. In this case, worse is certainly rape, and it’s implied that its gang rape. That’s what’s on her mind. That’s what a person would be thinking about every time they allow something like this to continue. Whether or not the body has a physical reaction is not the same thing as enjoyment.
I’m not here to police Lit. I’m not reporting your story. That’s not what I do. I’m simply telling you that this story shouldn’t have made it through to posting, and there’s not a lot you could do without rewriting it completely to fix it.
In my opinion, you shouldn’t rewrite this. I think you should spend some time thinking about what you wrote here, because this is sexual assault. This is ENF in the same way that sex with a 12 year old is just pre-legal. A flashy label doesn’t change what it is.
You might be thinking to yourself “I know what this story is! I wrote it!” Allow me to elucidate.
As we’ve discussed here before, the CMNF kink is about power. The way you’ve written this before, there’s voyeurism (read: power) with a splash of shame and/or cuckoldry for the male protagonist while the female is stripped of her clothes (read: power). The stakes were low, though. Nobody was going to get hurt. The worst that happened was that some people were embarrassed, or got an eyeful/handful. That’s relatively harmless, and in at least one case (I forget which) the woman learned that she kind of liked being looked at by strangers.
CMNF is “I have privacy, and you don’t. I have clothes and you don’t. You have vulnerability, and I don’t. You are exposed and I’m not.” That’s a dynamic. In Danielle and the Lions, the narrator is non-existent. He relates some details about Daniella relatively, through things like ‘My wife went to the village”, but that seems to serve more for variety and the avoidance of word repetition (rather than using ‘she’ and ‘her’ and ‘Daniella’ all the time). It would be easy to change this story into a third person story so that Daniella goes to the unnamed African country alone and meets Mr. Brooks, her contractor/bodyguard. The narrator is a non-entity. He has very few feelings about what’s going on, and the feelings he has are obvious and expected. Someone is touching his wife. He doesn’t like it. Nothing he thinks or says or feels or does matters in the story, so for all intents and purposes he doesn’t exist.
That leaves Daniella and the police chief. He is technically clothed, and she is technically naked, but that’s how a lot of rape goes. The fact that he doesn’t quite make it to penetrating her changes little, as the intent was clearly there and clearly communicated, and it was something she feared. This isn’t a kink. It’s rape. You wrote a rape. You wrote a story about a woman enduring a harrowing experience for the specific purpose of people being able to read it and jerk off to it.
This story hates Daniella. It sets her up as capable and intelligent, building her up, for the specific purpose of being a better target to knock down. The readers who read this, who look for this, they’re looking for a woman to hate, and to objectify, and feel better about themselves because she has been made lesser. That’s not a kink, that’s pornographic misogyny.
Sex is something that happens between two (or more) people. One does not have sex by oneself; that’s masturbation. It’s self-gratification. Kink is a colloquial catch-all for non-normative sexual behavior, but it should be understood as being some variation on sex. Rape is not sex, because the victim isn’t partaking in something of their own free will. Rape is closer to gratification at someone elses expense, and that’s what we have here. Your readers are getting off at someone else’s expense, and the fact that she isn’t real doesn’t change that they (and, likely, you) got off to it.
A lot of interracial erotica on Lit is doing something very similar (looking at you, silkstockingslover). Mommy's First BBC is not kinky, it’s racist. Deeply, deeply racist. Why would it be taboo to fuck a black guy? Oh right, the racism. It objectifies, victimizes, and degrades the men it portrays, and contributes to pervasive and damaging stereotypes. It punches down by fetishizing a minority, and it’s cheap. Lyndon Johnson, former US President, once said, "If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." Daniella and the Lions is doing the same thing to women.
This is the one thing you write. All of your stories are about stripping women of power and abusing them to one extent or another. Your writing comes off like someone desperately trying to convince yourself and others that there’s someone lower than you. You should spend some time with that.
Last edited:
Bramblethorn
Sleep-deprived
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Posts
- 18,670
I read it and I have some thoughts about the response you got, but as this is AMD's thread I'll wait until she's had time to look at it - feel free to PM me if you want my take on it.
B
b7ffh1
Guest
re: Daniella and the Lions, by b7ffh1
Thank you so much for taking the time to review my story, especially as this is a genre that don't particularly like. I would also like to thank you for the reviews and comments in the past. Your feedback has helped my improve my writing.
That being said, this review came across as kink-shaming and a personal attack on me and the readers of my stories. The previous reviews, though they were tough, were mostly about how I could make my writing stronger, more real and immersive, and weaknesses in the plot. Those criticisms were valuable in helping me grow as a writer. However, this review did not have those kind of criticisms, but rather criticized the kink that the story represents.
Erotic literature in general has taboo as big driver of titillation. I and many others would find a Victorian story where the husband and wife have sex in the pitch black under blankets, mostly clothed, so that they can produce strong children for the Queen to be boring. Many(most) times erotica deals with the forbidden.
And in dealing with the forbidden, there is the understanding that this is fantasy and not the real world, and there would be horrendous consequences if such events took place in the real worlds. For example, how many "Erotic Couplings" practice safe sex? Incest between a father and daughter, even if she were 18 years old would have horrific real world sequelae. With regards to "Mature", in real life, there can be a huge experience and power gap that can render these kind of relationships problematic in the real world. Even the approved, "NonConsensual/Reluctance" goes against the notion of enthusiastic, affirmative consent which should be the hallmark of sexual relationships, and perpetuates the myth that even though a woman says "no", she really means "yes", and she will eventually enjoy it. In the real world, cheating/adultery can also have devastating consequences for both individuals and families.
However, within erotica, there exists a fantasy world where these taboos and illicit encounters are enjoyed but do not enter the real world. The majority of women who enjoy "Loving Wives" are not hidden cheaters in the real world. I would bet a significant proportion of men who enjoy cuckold stories would be devastated if something like that actually happened to them in real life. The majority of people who enjoy incest stories are not, in fact, sexually attracted to their actual mother/father/brother/sister/daughter/son in a sexual way.
And in regards to my writing, power differentials can have an erotic component. There are many loving couples who enjoy acting out rape fantasies in confines of a loving and safe relationship. In exhibitionism, the power differential can be erotic. BDSM itself is heavily based on power differentials. For what its worth, some of my biggest fans who have actually contacted me about my writing have been women. Reading my stories opened new vistas of fantasies for them that they had not explored previously.
In addition, I find your definition of sex and kinks problematic, and more in line with Catholic teachings of sexual morality. For them also, sex was between two people, and only for specific purposes in specific circumstances. Masturbation (since it was solo, and not for the prescribed purposes of sex) was a sin. For them also, thinking about taboo subjects was sin. For example, fantasizing about someone to whom you are not married would be a sin. The details have changed, but the moral framework appears to be the same.
Finally, I would like to challenge the assertion that my story hates Daniella. My story no more hates Daniella, than "Die Hard" hated John McClane or "24" hated Jack Bauer, or "Game of Thrones" hated Sansa Stark. Yes, they show them undergoing horrific circumstances which if they happened in real life would have devastating consequences. But they show them triumphing over their abusers and oppressors. The abused woman who turns avenger is an old theme in literature and includes such women as Boadicea and Judith. Daniella is merely following in that template. Seeing Daniella as being stripped of power and made lower through her ordeal is more a function of the reader than the writer. In this story, although she endures an experience that would be horrific in real life, she is not stripped of her power. She emerges even more powerful at the end. She is still the strong, smart, and now, rich woman. Even the people that laughed at her previously, would be forced to acknowledge how bad ass she is. The one who end up stripped of power and degraded is not Daniella, but rather the police chief who abused her. In a traditional shame-based culture, do you think think the police chief will ever live down the shame of being beaten up by a woman and literally having her shove a shoe up his ass, and then being marched naked and in handcuffs out of the airport? That shame and reproach would follow him for the rest of his life, which by the way, may not be all that long, since dictators are known to execute people who have caused them international embarrassment. So the story ends with Daniella triumphant, and her abuser debased, degraded, and defeated.
All that being said, this is obviously a genre you detest, and that arouses very strong feelings in you. I thank you for taking the time to read my work and give me your thoughts. Your feedback has helped me grow as a writer. I promise, I won't send you any more of these kind of stories to review. If I do end up writing something that is not along these lines in the future, I would love to get your feedback if that is ok with you.
Thank you once again.
Thank you so much for taking the time to review my story, especially as this is a genre that don't particularly like. I would also like to thank you for the reviews and comments in the past. Your feedback has helped my improve my writing.
That being said, this review came across as kink-shaming and a personal attack on me and the readers of my stories. The previous reviews, though they were tough, were mostly about how I could make my writing stronger, more real and immersive, and weaknesses in the plot. Those criticisms were valuable in helping me grow as a writer. However, this review did not have those kind of criticisms, but rather criticized the kink that the story represents.
Erotic literature in general has taboo as big driver of titillation. I and many others would find a Victorian story where the husband and wife have sex in the pitch black under blankets, mostly clothed, so that they can produce strong children for the Queen to be boring. Many(most) times erotica deals with the forbidden.
And in dealing with the forbidden, there is the understanding that this is fantasy and not the real world, and there would be horrendous consequences if such events took place in the real worlds. For example, how many "Erotic Couplings" practice safe sex? Incest between a father and daughter, even if she were 18 years old would have horrific real world sequelae. With regards to "Mature", in real life, there can be a huge experience and power gap that can render these kind of relationships problematic in the real world. Even the approved, "NonConsensual/Reluctance" goes against the notion of enthusiastic, affirmative consent which should be the hallmark of sexual relationships, and perpetuates the myth that even though a woman says "no", she really means "yes", and she will eventually enjoy it. In the real world, cheating/adultery can also have devastating consequences for both individuals and families.
However, within erotica, there exists a fantasy world where these taboos and illicit encounters are enjoyed but do not enter the real world. The majority of women who enjoy "Loving Wives" are not hidden cheaters in the real world. I would bet a significant proportion of men who enjoy cuckold stories would be devastated if something like that actually happened to them in real life. The majority of people who enjoy incest stories are not, in fact, sexually attracted to their actual mother/father/brother/sister/daughter/son in a sexual way.
And in regards to my writing, power differentials can have an erotic component. There are many loving couples who enjoy acting out rape fantasies in confines of a loving and safe relationship. In exhibitionism, the power differential can be erotic. BDSM itself is heavily based on power differentials. For what its worth, some of my biggest fans who have actually contacted me about my writing have been women. Reading my stories opened new vistas of fantasies for them that they had not explored previously.
In addition, I find your definition of sex and kinks problematic, and more in line with Catholic teachings of sexual morality. For them also, sex was between two people, and only for specific purposes in specific circumstances. Masturbation (since it was solo, and not for the prescribed purposes of sex) was a sin. For them also, thinking about taboo subjects was sin. For example, fantasizing about someone to whom you are not married would be a sin. The details have changed, but the moral framework appears to be the same.
Finally, I would like to challenge the assertion that my story hates Daniella. My story no more hates Daniella, than "Die Hard" hated John McClane or "24" hated Jack Bauer, or "Game of Thrones" hated Sansa Stark. Yes, they show them undergoing horrific circumstances which if they happened in real life would have devastating consequences. But they show them triumphing over their abusers and oppressors. The abused woman who turns avenger is an old theme in literature and includes such women as Boadicea and Judith. Daniella is merely following in that template. Seeing Daniella as being stripped of power and made lower through her ordeal is more a function of the reader than the writer. In this story, although she endures an experience that would be horrific in real life, she is not stripped of her power. She emerges even more powerful at the end. She is still the strong, smart, and now, rich woman. Even the people that laughed at her previously, would be forced to acknowledge how bad ass she is. The one who end up stripped of power and degraded is not Daniella, but rather the police chief who abused her. In a traditional shame-based culture, do you think think the police chief will ever live down the shame of being beaten up by a woman and literally having her shove a shoe up his ass, and then being marched naked and in handcuffs out of the airport? That shame and reproach would follow him for the rest of his life, which by the way, may not be all that long, since dictators are known to execute people who have caused them international embarrassment. So the story ends with Daniella triumphant, and her abuser debased, degraded, and defeated.
All that being said, this is obviously a genre you detest, and that arouses very strong feelings in you. I thank you for taking the time to read my work and give me your thoughts. Your feedback has helped me grow as a writer. I promise, I won't send you any more of these kind of stories to review. If I do end up writing something that is not along these lines in the future, I would love to get your feedback if that is ok with you.
Thank you once again.
SimonDoom
Kink Lord
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2015
- Posts
- 19,718
I do not agree. This is your thread, and you're free to give whatever reviews you want, and people ask you to do so, but the author is correct: you're kink-shaming. Your review provides no help or assistance to the author in figuring out how to take a story idea and turn it into as good a story as possible. You think the author needs to search his soul for writing the story in the first place, and that's not right.
Anyone who knows anything about the sadism/masochism dynamic knows that you can love and respect someone utterly, and still, somewhere deep in your heart and loins, want to see that person degraded and humiliated. The story does not hate Daniella. You've got that completely wrong. The narrator in numerous ways spells out Daniella's admirable qualities and the narrator's admiration for Daniella. That admiration provides the contrast and dramatic tension for the humiliation that follows. The narrator admires and loves Daniella, but the narrator, like all of us, is complicated, and the narrator derives erotic pleasure from Daniella's humiliation. That's not hatred. It's standard erotic fantasy. You know this because you write stories about degradation as well.
You have taken too seriously that "authorial endorsement" nonsense -- the idea that an erotic story has to have a positive moral, like an Aesop's Fable. No. A good erotic story can have a good message, or no message, or a bad message. It can be utterly transgressive, and still be good art. A good erotic story can plumb the depths of our dark places. Telling an author "I don't like your kink" -- which is what you are doing -- is not helpful criticism. It's Philistine moralizing. That doesn't help any writer.
Bramblethorn
Sleep-deprived
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
- Posts
- 18,670
I'm less familiar with the other two that you mention, but there's a crucial difference between your story and Die Hard: agency.
John McClane triumphs through his intelligence and resourcefulness, and also through the help of allies with those same qualities. When the LAPD don't believe his report, he gets their attention by dropping a dead body on their patrol car. When he first meets Gruber, who's pretending to be a hostage, he catches him out by giving him an unloaded gun. Later, he tapes a gun to his back to trick Gruber again. It's been a while but if I re-watched the movie, I think I'd find plenty more moments like that where McClane makes a sharp decision that changes the story in his favour.
Meanwhile, Holly takes on Gruber: "What idiot put you in charge?" "You did, when you murdered my boss." At risk to her own life, she negotiates with a murderer to protect her people, and gets concessions out of him.
Those are all examples of agency: the character chooses to do something, and their actions change how the story turns out. Even bit characters like the limo driver seize the opportunity to make a difference.
I couldn't see much agency in Danielle. The introduction tells me that she's an intelligent, capable woman, but it felt like that evaporated as soon as we hit the airport scene. From the beginning of that scene, she just does what she's told. Mr. Brooks calls the Interior Minister, Mr. Brooks tells them to stay in the public area and wait for the cavalry, she does that and she does everything the Chief of Police demands. The only personality trait I can see Danielle showing here is compliance.
Would this scene have played out much differently if she hadn't been intelligent? I can't see it. The cavalry would have arrived, the Chief would still have been arrested.
There's a thing some writers do where they introduce a female character as lesbian, but then end up with her sleeping with Male Lead, and it feels like the only point of making her a lesbian in the beginning was to make it that much more of a triumph for Male Lead when he gets into her pants. The way Danielle's "intelligence" was handled in the story reminded me of that - it felt less like "story about an intelligent woman" and more "story about a woman being humbled".
But not by her own actions. She's saved because Mr. Brooks knows what to do, and she waits for help to arrive. She puts in the boot once it's safe for her to do so, at a point where the Chief has already been defeated.
Who handcuffs him? Not Danielle. Who chooses to march him naked out of the airport? Again, not Danielle. When does she beat him up? Only once it's completely safe for her to do so. Had she snapped and kicked him in the nuts even a few seconds before help showed up, that would have been a very different moment.
Even in a nice safe story that doesn't have any NC aspects, that lack of agency would usually be a flaw. Who would watch Die Hard as told from the perspective of one of the hostages who just waited for John & co. to save them?
In a story that does have NC aspects, it can influence how those NC aspects are received. Having agency and being a sympathetic character aren't the same thing, but they aren't unrelated either, and when a character lacks agency it's very easy for a reader to come away with the impression that the author doesn't respect that character.
I only have one C*N* story on this site, and it also has distinct NC overtones with people being manipulated into a very uncomfortable situation. I'll leave it to others to judge whether it's good, or sexy, but I think it does at least provide an example of how you can put characters on the receiving end of humiliation and still let them make meaningful choices that affect the outcome, even in a story where they don't defeat the villain: https://literotica.com/beta/s/the-floggings-will-continue
