Avoiding the Size issue

[Young Knave]

Strange girl. I mean, I'm as shallow as the next guy, and like a good pair of knockers, but I'd never refuse a girl because she was lacking in that area. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. If you find someone likeable and attractive, why would you turn them down because of one shortcoming (sorry for the pun).

 

[RedheadedHaze]

OK, so I am about the same size as the OP (actually 5") and have never had an issue with a woman like that. While I think that the woman handled it badly, it was her choice to make. As men, we have the ability to "see" all the sex bits of a woman before removing the clothing. We make our judgment right away. Unfortunately for women, they don't have that option. If she wants a big dick, she should get one. If I were him, I would be thankful that she walked out. It was bound to fail anyway. And, if she had sex with him and then dumped him, he would question his dick size and his performance. We men are very fragile when it comes to those things

This is the most logical post I've read, in terms of my own personal opinion on the matter.

Aren't women judged every damn day on their size, appearance, breast size, butt size, hair color, etc? All of those things add up to what appeals to a man enough to want to have sex with her. Emotions aside, us girls don't have the freedom to just make a hasty decision about what's inside his boxers while sitting at the restaurant table.

Personally, I think all of this can be avoided by offering a simple disclaimer at the beginning of the night.

"I'm only interested in having sex w/ guys whose dicks measure X inches. This is your opportunity to gracefully exit w/o judgement."

 

[Firebrain]

Strange girl. I mean, I'm as shallow as the next guy, and like a good pair of knockers, but I'd never refuse a girl because she was lacking in that area. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. If you find someone likeable and attractive, why would you turn them down because of one shortcoming (sorry for the pun).

But what if that shortcoming (!) impaired your ability to enjoy sex with them?

I can like a person very much, but if something stops me finding them attractive, they are my friends rather than love interests.

 

[StrayKat]

Personally, I think all of this can be avoided by offering a simple disclaimer at the beginning of the night.

"I'm only interested in having sex w/ guys whose dicks measure X inches. This is your opportunity to gracefully exit w/o judgement."

I was thinking a bit and came to the same conclusion - definitely the fairest way to deal with the matter.

 

[sb2009]

Ah we finally agree

I must say I mostly like the 45 yo comment tho...

yes, me too!

 

[sb2009]

to add some humor, my husband is really really handly at fixing/building, etc. He honestly can fix anything and lots of times his friends have sheepishly asked him to please help them with something they started that they have fucked up by tinkering with...and when they wax on about "how can you figure this shit out???" etc he always says "It's because I have a small penis, I needed a skill."

He's average, honestly. I've never actually measured him next to another person but if memory serves, he's got an average one.

The two times i had sex with men with humongeous dicks, well, it wasn't all that great. I think they never bothered to learn skills. Sadly, one of them I was married to for a while. Silly girl.

 

[BustyBabeMA31]

Age Old Question

In my experience, men with larger members tend to concentrate less on the foreplay and think it's all about their size. Whereas, guys with smaller members seem to be better at foreplay (oral, fingering, etc) which gets a woman closer to orgasm and more sensitive to intercourse. This isn't always the case but it's fairly accurrate for the most part.

If someone is so shallow that they cannot see beyond your size then move on. You deserve better. Good luck!

 

[JamesSD]

Anyway we went on a couple dates and started getting a little touchy back at my place and she unzipped my pants and put her hand in and kind of let out a small gasp. She quickly pulled her hand out continued kissing for a while, and then she went to the bathroom, said she felt sick and left.

There's something weird about this girl that probably has nothing to do with you. It's entirely possible she did start to feel sick, especially if you guys had been drinking. You're hardly tiny, although it's possible she's had some bad experiences in her past with smaller guys or just prefers them on the bigger side. Assuming it *was* your dick, her sort of reaction is as unusual as a woman drooling over a large penis; the reality is with large ones a lot of women worry about it hurting and how they will be able to perform oral on it.

Honestly it sounds like there just wasn't a great connection between the two of you. She probably was considering having a one night stand with you but had second thoughts. If this gives you anxiety you can certainly take sex off the table when dating someone at first and wait until you really get to know someone and click well before getting intimate.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

OK, so I am about the same size as the OP (actually 5") and have never had an issue with a woman like that. While I think that the woman handled it badly, it was her choice to make. As men, we have the ability to "see" all the sex bits of a woman before removing the clothing. We make our judgment right away. Unfortunately for women, they don't have that option. If she wants a big dick, she should get one. If I were him, I would be thankful that she walked out. It was bound to fail anyway. And, if she had sex with him and then dumped him, he would question his dick size and his performance. We men are very fragile when it comes to those things

QFT

I was in a bar playing loud music once and two guys standing nearby thought they wouldn't be overheard. One looked me up and down and said something to his friend, who looked right at me and replied, 'pity there's no tits on it.'

Now I could have got upset. I could have got a gel filled bra or a boobjob. I could have got such a complex that no man saw my tits ever again. But I've got self respect. When that jerk left later on with some stacked, thermonuclear tanned, barely dressed bottle-blonde, all I felt was pity.

Seriously, why do you care? You're a grown up. Accept that there are shallow people in this world who want the physical boxes checked before they give a shit about mental/emotional connection and consider yourself lucky that the bitch didn't fuck on the first date because you're hung and then never call you again. How shitty would that have been?

And incidentally, petite girlies like me run screaming from donkey cocks. There are plenty of girls out there who will love what you've got. You were happy enough with your cock before you met this girl so be grateful for your fully functioning manmeat. Think of guys who come home from war zones with limbs shot off or disfigurements, you think they're going to be worried about cock size when it comes to relationships? Count your blessings and move on with pride.

 

[RedheadedHaze]

QFT

I was in a bar playing loud music once and two guys standing nearby thought they wouldn't be overheard. One looked me up and down and said something to his friend, who looked right at me and replied, 'pity there's no tits on it.'

Now I could have got upset. I could have got a gel filled bra or a boobjob. I could have got such a complex that no man saw my tits ever again. But I've got self respect. When that jerk left later on with some stacked, thermonuclear tanned, barely dressed bottle-blonde, all I felt was pity.

Seriously, why do you care? You're a grown up. Accept that there are shallow people in this world who want the physical boxes checked before they give a shit about mental/emotional connection and consider yourself lucky that the bitch didn't fuck on the first date because you're hung and then never call you again. How shitty would that have been?

And incidentally, petite girlies like me run screaming from donkey cocks. There are plenty of girls out there who will love what you've got. You were happy enough with your cock before you met this girl so be grateful for your fully functioning manmeat. Think of guys who come home from war zones with limbs shot off or disfigurements, you think they're going to be worried about cock size when it comes to relationships? Count your blessings and move on with pride.

I don't know you in the least....but I like you already.

 

[curiousgeo62]

QFT

I was in a bar playing loud music once and two guys standing nearby thought they wouldn't be overheard. One looked me up and down and said something to his friend, who looked right at me and replied, 'pity there's no tits on it.'

Now I could have got upset. I could have got a gel filled bra or a boobjob. I could have got such a complex that no man saw my tits ever again. But I've got self respect. When that jerk left later on with some stacked, thermonuclear tanned, barely dressed bottle-blonde, all I felt was pity.

Seriously, why do you care? You're a grown up. Accept that there are shallow people in this world who want the physical boxes checked before they give a shit about mental/emotional connection and consider yourself lucky that the bitch didn't fuck on the first date because you're hung and then never call you again. How shitty would that have been?

And incidentally, petite girlies like me run screaming from donkey cocks. There are plenty of girls out there who will love what you've got. You were happy enough with your cock before you met this girl so be grateful for your fully functioning manmeat. Think of guys who come home from war zones with limbs shot off or disfigurements, you think they're going to be worried about cock size when it comes to relationships? Count your blessings and move on with pride.

Just for the record, tit size and ass size and the like have nothing to do with my decision to have sex with a woman. I have only ever been with 5 women my whole life (and the same woman the last +30 years) and each was different and unique in her own way. I'm one of those guys that needs a connection be attracted to a woman. Sorry, but that is just me.

 

[sterculius]

"I was in a bar playing loud music once and two guys standing nearby thought they wouldn't be overheard. One looked me up and down and said something to his friend, who looked right at me and replied, 'pity there's no tits on it.'"
I'm a guy, but what I would object to most is the "it" term.

 

[silverwhisper]

FB quoth:
but now i'm confused - this girl didn't spare the guy's feelings. what's wrong with what she did, then?

guys are pretty good at understanding "i'm not attracted to you". that's simple honesty. and you know, when i was still single, i'd have vastly preferred hearing "look, i'm not attracted to you" than the lies. based on the conversations i've had, i think the majority of men would prefer that as well. that's where i think kimbernee actually did made sense.

WRT the OP, that woman's reaction wasn't "i'm not attracted to you". what she was saying was "i'm horrified to find your penis is too small to satisfy me." now, there's no nice way to say that--but she clearly wasn't interested in how it would be perceived. and that's where i have a problem.

incidentally: this is a great example of why men shouldn't stuff.

ed

 

[Firebrain]

guys are pretty good at understanding "i'm not attracted to you". that's simple honesty. and you know, when i was still single, i'd have vastly preferred hearing "look, i'm not attracted to you" than the lies. based on the conversations i've had, i think the majority of men would prefer that as well. that's where i think kimbernee actually did made sense.

WRT the OP, that woman's reaction wasn't "i'm not attracted to you". what she was saying was "i'm horrified to find your penis is too small to satisfy me." now, there's no nice way to say that--but she clearly wasn't interested in how it would be perceived. and that's where i have a problem.

incidentally: this is a great example of why men shouldn't stuff.

ed

See, I can understand your first point, that "I'm just not attracted to you" may have been the most tactful way to go.

But the bit I've highlighted in bold is just an assumption. I honestly think she panicked (and perhaps as kimbernee pointed out, was worried about his reaction and her own safety). It's only my perception but it is what it is.

If she really didn't give a shit, she'd have just come out and said what everyone is saying she obviously thinks.

 

[silverwhisper]

FB quoth:
i honestly think she panicked (and perhaps as kimbernee pointed out, was worried about his reaction and her own safety). it's only my perception but it is what it is.

well, we're obviously reading this differently, and given what the OP has said to date, it appears unlikely that we're going to find out which reading is closer to the truth. i agree she panicked--i think i said as much earlier.

having said that: i'll confess that i'm really not seeing the leap from "omg, that little thing isn't gonna do jack for me" to "omg, i'm in peril here".

FB quoth:
if she really didn't give a shit, she'd have just come out and said what everyone is saying she obviously thinks.

i think that if we're in agreement that she panicked, it seems difficult not to conclude that being diplomatic was at best a distant second priority.

ed

 

[kimbernee]

I'm not saying that the size of his dick caused her to panic but she wanted, for whatever reason (drunkness, sickness, the size of his dick, religious ideals, who knows?) to not have sex with him that night. If it wasn't genuinely sickness, then she used sickness as an excuse. If it was genuinely the size of his dick, then I can totally see why she wouldn't have said that. As a woman who's felt physically threatened when backing out on a perceived agreement to have sex before, I know that honesty isn't always the best policy. You say whatever gets you out the door and home safe.

And then she should have sent a nice email and said it turns out she's not terribly interested for whatever reason, but I'll assume he met her online and I can tell you that sudden unexplained disappearance is the #1 way to end a relationship that was formed online. It sucks but unless you're a serious troll who's always the dumpee, you find yourself using it as much as you hate it being used on you.

 

[silverwhisper]

kimbernee, please re-read the OP. i think you're inserting several unwarranted assumptions here that are a result of your projecting yourself into the part of that woman. we know from that, according to the OP:

1. she's been on the dating scene for a while. this would seem to rule out a relationship begun online.

2. they'd been on a few dates, so presumably, there was some measure of mutual interest and p. therefore, while the OP and the woman might not know each other terribly well, they weren't exactly complete strangers, either.

again: i am not arguing she shoulda stayed and fucked him. i don't know who you feel is arguing that position who is still involved in this thread.

ed

 

[infinity706]

QFT

I was in a bar playing loud music once and two guys standing nearby thought they wouldn't be overheard. One looked me up and down and said something to his friend, who looked right at me and replied, 'pity there's no tits on it.'

Now I could have got upset. I could have got a gel filled bra or a boobjob. I could have got such a complex that no man saw my tits ever again. But I've got self respect. When that jerk left later on with some stacked, thermonuclear tanned, barely dressed bottle-blonde, all I felt was pity.

Seriously, why do you care? You're a grown up. Accept that there are shallow people in this world who want the physical boxes checked before they give a shit about mental/emotional connection and consider yourself lucky that the bitch didn't fuck on the first date because you're hung and then never call you again. How shitty would that have been?

And incidentally, petite girlies like me run screaming from donkey cocks. There are plenty of girls out there who will love what you've got. You were happy enough with your cock before you met this girl so be grateful for your fully functioning manmeat. Think of guys who come home from war zones with limbs shot off or disfigurements, you think they're going to be worried about cock size when it comes to relationships? Count your blessings and move on with pride.

I mostly agree, but I don't half believe you'd run away from a huge cock. Judging from some of the stories you've shared about your sex life, a big dick shouldn't even register on the concern radar. I have to assume you probably mean petite girlies other than you, right?

Oh, and if the pics from your profile are yours, I certainly wouldn't worry about your tits. They're not huge, but they're still very nice.

Welcome back to How To, Ms Velvet. I think everyone's missed you.

 

[NakedMale]

I don't think the size is the main thing. My wife prefers the clitorial stimulation when I am inside so length is not the most important thing

 

[TC1017]

Thank you RedHeadedHaze

I think that is what I was looking for.

 

[TC1017]

Thanks for concern.

 

[Tentacles]

the obvious answer

She probably did get sick, feeling your cock probably made her feel sick to her stomach. That probably has nothing to do with the size either. I agree with the posters who say that she probably just knew what she wanted and/or suddenly came to her senses. You shouldn't worry about this what-so-ever unless you are madly in love with this girl and you obviously are not. I think its really good for her to be able to stop at that point. I wouldn't be surprised at all if she could tell exactly about how good the sex would be just by touching you a little bit like that, its called intuition.

If I were going to reach into a guys pants to check out his junk, I would be paying attention to how he responded not really to the size. I think its probably a good test too.

 

[TC1017]

Thank you silverwhisper

 

[TC1017]

I like your honesty kimbernee

 

[TC1017]

Thanks for the story VelvetDarkness