Aunt-Nephew incest feedback

[BlueRhino]

I noticed there are few aunt-nephew incest stories and wondered what folks think about the one I posted here a little while ago.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=45793

Are these characters worth developing? Is this story worth continuing?

Thoughts, ideas, and criticism most welcome.

 

[sirhugs]

Yes. In a word. But in developing them, perhaps you can make them less like any other couple. In this story, the coincidence of them seeming like a couple was fine, but that will wear thin quickly. I also thought the secuction was too fast and smooth. Jane going to watch tv in her jammies his room rang false. why in her jammies?

I don't have time to analyze the writing, but I found it generally stiff. The dialogue especially seemed a bit " See spot run".

But it has promise, and the struggles of an aunt-nephew couple will offer good conflict ( the heart of good drama) for sequels.

 

[PaulX35]

A few comments

Rhino,

Thanks for posting the story for feedback; I enjoyed reading it, even when I'm not a lot into incest.

I found the finish better than the start. True, you need time to develop a story and set an atmosphere, but your need more variety in style. You report, in indirect tense, and that gets boring after a while. Liven it up with some direct tense.

Also, you may want to shorten your paragraphs; read the very good guidelines on this here. Spacing gives the story more room, time for the reader to take a breath.

While the set up of the story creates the opportunity as such for an incestuous affair, the story line does not really develop convincingly in terms of what triggered them (both, not only Auntie) to cross this taboo-infused border. And you really need that to fully convince the reader, I think. He will soon be left with "oh really?" feelings if you fail to pull him/her into an internal logic or necessity for this to happen. That can be anything, but it's got to be in the story, I think.

Hope this helps

 

[BlueRhino]

thanks

I appreciate the feedback and will take it on board for the next chapter in this story. It is tough developing characters that you are not entirely sure you want to live with for long. Incest seemed an easy way to generate tension with little effort, but as you both point out, without good reason, incest is not credible as part of the storyline. Thanks for the feedback. Others??

 

[PaulX35]

Re: thanks

... but as you both point out, without good reason, incest is not credible as part of the storyline... Thanks for the feedback. Others??

Rhino,

Err... that was not what I said
I do think incest can make a very credible story line; just in your story it could gain credibility, in my opinion.

A few suggestions that may also come in handy if you want to turn this into a multi-chapter thing:
Think ahead; create yourself a background plot with a line of where you'd want to end. Then add in situations, scenes, history, facts, character-assets that you can use throughout the story. You mention them once and they will make your characters more convincing, and the story line will give backbone to what you're writing.
Examples: your young man has e.g. always had a fairly close relationship with his aunt; find a convincing reason, like his mother having been in hospital many times. Make it "logical" and credible that he is capable to develop erotic feelings for her. Same for Auntie.


Just a few thoughts; hope they're of help

 

[BlueRhino]

very helpful

Thanks, again for the advice. I have started on the second part and will include a few of the elements you have suggested. Have you seen many other aunt-nephew stories out there? Or am I just missing them all?

 

[Alex De Kok]

Aunt-Nephew Stories

BlueRhino said

Have you seen many other aunt-nephew stories out there? Or am I just missing them all?

You could try Aunt Ellen (first part of 5!) or One Naiad, Reporting for Duty if you want to see my take on the genre. That's if you haven't read them already.

Alex