The feedback on my first chapter was very helpful—I’d love feedback on how I improved (or didn’t) on the second and where I need work

[BaileyEsquire]

I’m really grateful for the feedback kind users gave me about the first chapter of my story Hannah gets an Agent. In particular, they were absolutely right to highlight that I’d let myself become too didactic and thus slowed the pacing of the story, which is not helpful in erotica (nor in any writing for that matter).

Trying to bear all these suggestions in mind, I have just posted the second chapter of my story. I would be extremely appreciative of people’s thoughts on if I have managed to improve the problems of pacing and didacticism, or if I have not. I’d also welcome any critical feedback on any new problems that might have cropped up. This is my first try at writing any extended fiction, let alone erotic fiction, so I really have a lot to learn.