I suggest every chick memorize these rules as there will be a pop quiz tomorrow...
I also have some comments after some of these lessons to be learned by women...
1. It is only common courtesy that woman should leave the seat on the toilet UP when they are done
### This is a must cuz when we guys gotta pee and pee bad we don't have time to lift up the toilet seat...###
2. If a woman is cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer and Red
### EXACTLY!!! Don't be serving me some healthy nutricious meal...###
3. A man should never be obligated to hold a woman's purse in the mall
4. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving a woman's contempt
5. Shopping is not fascinating
### Unless we're at Best Buy...###
6. When a man asks for a threesome with a woman and her best friend, he is only joking
7. Unless the answer is yes
### True dat...###
8. In which case, can he videotape it?
### And NO!!! You women don't get a copy of the video either...###
9. If a woman REALLY wants a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes
10. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill
11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny
12. Money doesn't equate love. Not even in Nevada
13. Any attempt by a man tp prepare food, no matter how feeble (in microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc.) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time
### I expect a standing ovation if I make a women toast...###
14. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Once all women accept it, the better off they will be
### Its the truth...###
15. He heard you the first time
16. You know, women can ask men out too... Let's spread the rejection around a little
17. If women truly want honesty, don't shouldn't ask questions they don't really want the answer to
### BINGO!!! ###
18. OF COURSE he wants another beer
### No shit...Don't ask, just bring me one...###
19. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot
20. Dogs good - Cats bad
21. Any sort injury involving the testicles is not funny
22. If a man has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", a woman should have to sit through "Showgirls"
23. "Fine" is NOT an acceptable way to end an argument
### Pay attention here SexyThang...###
24. Don't question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions
### Men never get lost, we just like to take the scenic route sometimes...###
25. He was not looking at that other girl
26. Well, okay... maybe a little
27. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy...
28. There is nothing inherently wrong with the word "hooter"
29. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most sucessful man you have ever met
30. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones
31. A woman should never ask a man if she looks fat or if her butt looks big, because the answer is always " YES, goddamnit, so stop asking"...
### Laughing so hard...###
32. If a woman wants a satisfying sex life, she should NEVER fake an orgasm
33. PMS is not an acceptable topic of conversation with a man. "I don't care if I would appreciate what you go through if I had to experience menstral cramps...
34. Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower
35. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Swallow it. Love it.
### REB_Gurly has learned this rule...###
36. Bring back the word "stewardess".
~i~
I also have some comments after some of these lessons to be learned by women...
1. It is only common courtesy that woman should leave the seat on the toilet UP when they are done
### This is a must cuz when we guys gotta pee and pee bad we don't have time to lift up the toilet seat...###
2. If a woman is cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: Meat, Fried, Beer and Red
### EXACTLY!!! Don't be serving me some healthy nutricious meal...###
3. A man should never be obligated to hold a woman's purse in the mall
4. Despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary in many of the fine bars and fraternities throughout the country, not all men are cretins deserving a woman's contempt
5. Shopping is not fascinating
### Unless we're at Best Buy...###
6. When a man asks for a threesome with a woman and her best friend, he is only joking
7. Unless the answer is yes
### True dat...###
8. In which case, can he videotape it?
### And NO!!! You women don't get a copy of the video either...###
9. If a woman REALLY wants a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes
10. The man is ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill
11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the room is not funny
12. Money doesn't equate love. Not even in Nevada
13. Any attempt by a man tp prepare food, no matter how feeble (in microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc.) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time
### I expect a standing ovation if I make a women toast...###
14. Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Once all women accept it, the better off they will be
### Its the truth...###
15. He heard you the first time
16. You know, women can ask men out too... Let's spread the rejection around a little
17. If women truly want honesty, don't shouldn't ask questions they don't really want the answer to
### BINGO!!! ###
18. OF COURSE he wants another beer
### No shit...Don't ask, just bring me one...###
19. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot
20. Dogs good - Cats bad
21. Any sort injury involving the testicles is not funny
22. If a man has to sit through "Legends of the Fall", a woman should have to sit through "Showgirls"
23. "Fine" is NOT an acceptable way to end an argument
### Pay attention here SexyThang...###
24. Don't question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions
### Men never get lost, we just like to take the scenic route sometimes...###
25. He was not looking at that other girl
26. Well, okay... maybe a little
27. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy...
28. There is nothing inherently wrong with the word "hooter"
29. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most sucessful man you have ever met
30. And all your friends think so too. Especially the cute ones
31. A woman should never ask a man if she looks fat or if her butt looks big, because the answer is always " YES, goddamnit, so stop asking"...
### Laughing so hard...###
32. If a woman wants a satisfying sex life, she should NEVER fake an orgasm
33. PMS is not an acceptable topic of conversation with a man. "I don't care if I would appreciate what you go through if I had to experience menstral cramps...
34. Remember: that Nair bottle looks an awful lot like shampoo if left in the shower
35. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Swallow it. Love it.
### REB_Gurly has learned this rule...###
36. Bring back the word "stewardess".
~i~
