eudaemonia
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 869
God, I feel like a schoolgirl** asking this but here goes.
I'm nearing the end of finishing my second bachelors degree, getting ready to apply to grad school. Since day one, ~3 years ago, I found myself attracted to one of my professors, mentally and physically. But I just pushed it to the back of my mind because 1) student-professor relationships can be very tricky, and 2) I had no idea of his martial/sexual-orientation/relationship status. Fine. I'm an adult (43) and can keep my focus on the scholastic. The entire time of taking classes with him, I grew more and more fond of him as a person and a man, and realized that his values and meta-ethical commitments matched my own as no one else I've ever met. I also noticed that he seemed to look at me a lot in class, always holding my gaze longer than other students'. (Of course, that may be function of culture: he grew up in eastern Europe and I noticed when I've been to the Continent that many people don't avert their glance at you as quickly as many Americans seem to.)
In the past nine months or so, there's been perceptible shift in our interactions. It's more peer-like than hierarchical. Walking out after class he'll ask me what I think about how he presented material in class or whether the course was structured okay. I would always tell him that I think he's proceeding just fine, on the right track, even if he's presenting difficult material; cuz other professors just treat us like dumb@sses for not "getting" it, which he never does. I once said to him that I wouldn't have taken Metaphysics as part of my degree since I didn't have confidence that any other faculty could make it understandable. But since he got to teach it this year (quite by happenstance) I got lucky! He kind of smiled at that ... his shy, sweet, dimpled grin. *swoon*
I was outraged in January to learn that he was denied tenure. He's profoundly productive and prolific, by far the best professor I've had during either earned degree. He suggested that I direct my displeasure about the tenure decision to the university's Provost, as some of his other students did.
Writing that letter on his behalf I realized that it was something of a love letter. I professed my great admiration for him, suggested that the department chair was being deliberately prejudicial towards Prof. Xxxxx and that the university was pandering to the prevalent multi-culti common denominator at the expense of keeping a professor who challenged all that nonsense and was truly committed to free inquiry. I cc'ed my prof, and he sent a lovely e-mail of thanks, signing it by his first name. That stole my heart for good.
A few days later he revealed, in the course of discussion regarding a professional conference that he co-founded and chaired, that he was no longer able to continue running the conference because he had significantly less time now that he was "the single father of three boys." That made my head spin and put me into mental overdrive.
Throughout the next two terms, I had my last courses with him. We revealed more and more bits about ourselves, our personal lives, very slowly. He says he enjoys our office-hours chats (as have I!). And when I e-mail him about our common scholarly interests he's always quick on the reply button with a response to my questions and links or attachments to whatever source material might be of interest to me.
On the more personal level, once when we were talking about his young son recently, whom he brings around the department every now and then, he told me that he's been working at getting full custody from his ex-wife for the last three and half years. (Apparently she doesn't work and is having some problems dealing with the boys.) He has two of the three kids fulltime. Because he's foreign-born, there's some extra issues as far as the courts and custody are concerned.
One more thing, he's asked several times about my graduation timeline and what courses I'm taking, I think, as if he wants to know whether I'm taking anything within the department. Finally, if this matters, we are perfectly age-appropriate for one another: he's just two years older than I am.
Enough background. I'll fast forward.
Two weeks ago this coming Monday, I turned in the final paper for the last course I took, and will ever take, from him. By my way of thinking, once he's turned in my grade, there's no more issue of imbalance of power as far as the university is concerned. However, since he has a lawsuit against the university for breach of contract, any hint of impropriety on his part may damage his case. Assuming of course, anything could be proved. But beyond that, I don't need or want the university's intrusion into my consensual relationships, regardless of what the written policy is.
I came to literotica one day in a fit of curiosity (and high arousal) to find info on uncircumsized men.
I realized that my fantasies about him involve a deep desire in me to know him, to be with him. The fact that he's so fiercely protective of his sons absolutely melts my heart. I have no family, no ties to anything really, but his life is a lot more complicated than mine. And it's all of these things that I'm fully cognizant of when I wonder what (or if) he's thinking about me. I suspect he's wondering how the hell would I fit into his life or whether I'd want to. I could be wrong, of course.
But I'm nearly certain the attraction is reciprocal. And I think it's going to have to be me to make some kind of overture to let him know I'm very interested, and very available, complications aside.
So ... Help! What now? How do I approach him in a way that conveys my interest while giving him a comfortable amout of space to decline (or accept) without causing too much anxiety?
Any thoughts (short, long, flippant, serious) are most appreciated. I'm chewing my arm off thinking about this. But I've decided that this is the weekend I come up with some idea or two about approaching him next week and then acting on it. Do or die, now or never.
Nota bene: **Actually, I am sort of a schoolgirl, I guess.
I'm nearing the end of finishing my second bachelors degree, getting ready to apply to grad school. Since day one, ~3 years ago, I found myself attracted to one of my professors, mentally and physically. But I just pushed it to the back of my mind because 1) student-professor relationships can be very tricky, and 2) I had no idea of his martial/sexual-orientation/relationship status. Fine. I'm an adult (43) and can keep my focus on the scholastic. The entire time of taking classes with him, I grew more and more fond of him as a person and a man, and realized that his values and meta-ethical commitments matched my own as no one else I've ever met. I also noticed that he seemed to look at me a lot in class, always holding my gaze longer than other students'. (Of course, that may be function of culture: he grew up in eastern Europe and I noticed when I've been to the Continent that many people don't avert their glance at you as quickly as many Americans seem to.)
In the past nine months or so, there's been perceptible shift in our interactions. It's more peer-like than hierarchical. Walking out after class he'll ask me what I think about how he presented material in class or whether the course was structured okay. I would always tell him that I think he's proceeding just fine, on the right track, even if he's presenting difficult material; cuz other professors just treat us like dumb@sses for not "getting" it, which he never does. I once said to him that I wouldn't have taken Metaphysics as part of my degree since I didn't have confidence that any other faculty could make it understandable. But since he got to teach it this year (quite by happenstance) I got lucky! He kind of smiled at that ... his shy, sweet, dimpled grin. *swoon*
I was outraged in January to learn that he was denied tenure. He's profoundly productive and prolific, by far the best professor I've had during either earned degree. He suggested that I direct my displeasure about the tenure decision to the university's Provost, as some of his other students did.
Writing that letter on his behalf I realized that it was something of a love letter. I professed my great admiration for him, suggested that the department chair was being deliberately prejudicial towards Prof. Xxxxx and that the university was pandering to the prevalent multi-culti common denominator at the expense of keeping a professor who challenged all that nonsense and was truly committed to free inquiry. I cc'ed my prof, and he sent a lovely e-mail of thanks, signing it by his first name. That stole my heart for good.
A few days later he revealed, in the course of discussion regarding a professional conference that he co-founded and chaired, that he was no longer able to continue running the conference because he had significantly less time now that he was "the single father of three boys." That made my head spin and put me into mental overdrive.
Throughout the next two terms, I had my last courses with him. We revealed more and more bits about ourselves, our personal lives, very slowly. He says he enjoys our office-hours chats (as have I!). And when I e-mail him about our common scholarly interests he's always quick on the reply button with a response to my questions and links or attachments to whatever source material might be of interest to me.
On the more personal level, once when we were talking about his young son recently, whom he brings around the department every now and then, he told me that he's been working at getting full custody from his ex-wife for the last three and half years. (Apparently she doesn't work and is having some problems dealing with the boys.) He has two of the three kids fulltime. Because he's foreign-born, there's some extra issues as far as the courts and custody are concerned.
One more thing, he's asked several times about my graduation timeline and what courses I'm taking, I think, as if he wants to know whether I'm taking anything within the department. Finally, if this matters, we are perfectly age-appropriate for one another: he's just two years older than I am.
Enough background. I'll fast forward.
Two weeks ago this coming Monday, I turned in the final paper for the last course I took, and will ever take, from him. By my way of thinking, once he's turned in my grade, there's no more issue of imbalance of power as far as the university is concerned. However, since he has a lawsuit against the university for breach of contract, any hint of impropriety on his part may damage his case. Assuming of course, anything could be proved. But beyond that, I don't need or want the university's intrusion into my consensual relationships, regardless of what the written policy is.
I came to literotica one day in a fit of curiosity (and high arousal) to find info on uncircumsized men.
I realized that my fantasies about him involve a deep desire in me to know him, to be with him. The fact that he's so fiercely protective of his sons absolutely melts my heart. I have no family, no ties to anything really, but his life is a lot more complicated than mine. And it's all of these things that I'm fully cognizant of when I wonder what (or if) he's thinking about me. I suspect he's wondering how the hell would I fit into his life or whether I'd want to. I could be wrong, of course.But I'm nearly certain the attraction is reciprocal. And I think it's going to have to be me to make some kind of overture to let him know I'm very interested, and very available, complications aside.
So ... Help! What now? How do I approach him in a way that conveys my interest while giving him a comfortable amout of space to decline (or accept) without causing too much anxiety?
Any thoughts (short, long, flippant, serious) are most appreciated. I'm chewing my arm off thinking about this. But I've decided that this is the weekend I come up with some idea or two about approaching him next week and then acting on it. Do or die, now or never.
Nota bene: **Actually, I am sort of a schoolgirl, I guess.
Last edited:
I'll post soonest.
